I've recived phone calls and text messages from Gia Jordan's hair telling me how it wants me to pull it back and shove it down to the floor. I don't know how Gia's hair got my number, and I don't know if Gia knows her hair has been talking to me. The last conversation went like this:

Gia's Hair: Loop, pull me to the floor.
Me: What? Whose this?
Gia's Hair: What? Fuck you asshole. Fuck me.
Me: What? Wait, Matt is that you again?
Gia's Hair: Matt? You dickhead. It's me- Gia's hair?
Me: What? Jesus Christ what do you want with me?
Gia's Hair: You boneless spineless dog <incomprehensable insults>
Me: What?
Gia's Hair: Hey just messing with you. Anyhoo, see on the board.
Me: Wait.. how did you get...

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