Went to the local strip club. Cased it out, struck gold. $200, back to my house, hot, clean, young, no pimp following her. Fucking perfect. She showered, blew, fucked, even put on the stripper heels without being asked.

So why can't I objectify her? I've been watching porn for over 20 years. Amber Lynn all the way to today's quackers. So why did I care when she started crying when we were done? "Blah blah blah, boyfriend in jail, blah blah blah, took all my money and didn't pay the rent, blah blah blah, two months pregnant, blah blah blah, no ride to Cherry Hill for my procedure."

Shouldn't I be callous by now? "Great, hon, now wipe off your chin and get the fuck out of here, I need to sleep." Why did I hug her, let her cry on my shoulder, tell her that it was all OK? Whores lie, and even if they didn't it isn't my problem.

I'm going to go try some self-loathing and pushups. I hope it helps.