I have to to work in over an hour and have sleeped fitfully and retain no stimulant alcohol effects only the depressed ones. I don't like coming here in this purgatorous state, but goddamn it this has got to stop. I wish I coiuld tell you all what is really going on with ChickenMazaar and myself but I can't. I mean he's really got me. Im crying out to you with a silent scream. I'd kill him but he is already dead.