Oh Willie...
I play in a band,
We're the best in the land,
We're big in both Chelsea and France.
I play one mean guitar and then score at the bar,
There's a line of chicks waiting for their chance.
So come on now honey, I'll make you feel pretty,
These other gals mean nothing to me.
Let's finish these drinks and be gone for the night,
'Cause I'm more than a handfull you'll see.
[CHORUS:]
So kiss me I'm shitfaced,
I'm Soaked I'm soiled and brown,
In the trousers. She kissed me,
And I only bought her one round,
I can bench press a car,
I'm an ex football star,
With degrees from both Harvard and Yale.
Girls just can't keep up,
I'm a really love machine,
I've had far better sex while in jail.
I designed the Sears tower,
I make two grand an hour,
I cook the world's best duck flambe.
I'll take the pick of the litter,
And girls jockey for me,
I don't need these lines to get laid.
[CHORUS]
I'm the man of the night,
A real ladies delight,
See, my figure was chiseled from stone.
One more for the gal then I'll escort her home,
Come last call, I'm never alone.
I own a house on the hill with a red water bed,
It puts Hugh Hefner's mansion to shame.
With girls by the pool and italian sports cars,
I'm just here in this dump for the gain.
[CHORUS x2]
Ahh, fuck it. Who am I shittin'?
I'm a pitiful sight,
And I ain't all that bright,
I'm definitly not chiseled from stone.
I'm a cheat and a liar,
No woman's desire,
I'll probably die cold and alone,
But just give me a chance,
Cause deep down inside,
I swear I got a big heart of gold.
I'm a monogamous man,
No more one night stands,
Come on, Honey let me take you home.