I guess I have no choice but to answer this post-- though I can't say I'm thrilled about my personal issues being posted online, it's a little late now and I may as well be honest. Yes, I did go on a bad bender this past weekend and was seriously considering checking into rehab (again-- yes I was there about a year and a half ago). After spending a few days at my parents' sobering up, I'm now considering a less extreme method of outpatient counseling. To have to give up at least a month of my life would be very damaging to my job and my company, and my responsibilites are such that I really need to seek other options that won't interfere with that.

I have been battling alcoholism for quite a few years now, and I'm getting very tired of the fight. Over this last year or so my thinking has really changed, and I have come to realize I must give up booze entirely or watch it slowly destroy my life, my relationships, and those around me who love me.

Don't think it doesn't anger me that there are people dying in Iraq, starving in third world countries, and here I am, a fairly priviledged individual with wonderful friends and family, a great career, and all I can seem to do is flush it down the toilet. It's a bitch of a disease and I'm the last person who can truly explain why I do what I do. I'm hoping that intensive therapy and regular AA meetings will help me sort out my demons and become a constructive force in the lives of those around me, as opposed to a destructive one.

I suppose that if my response touches at least one other person out there who shares my issues, and encourages them to also seek help, it will make the fact that I've just spilled my guts on a porn chatboard worthwhile.