This may come as a shock to some, but not all. I am dying. I dont have much longer to live. I am letting go of all grudges and anger and fits of peevish snobbery.

I have added Smelly Monkey to my "Last Will and Testament"... He will be receiving my Craftmatic Adjustable Bed...it malfunctions whenever the temperature goes above 72 degrees Fahrenheit, or whenever there is a full moon, it folds up like a taco Bell meximelt, but I suspect Monkey sleeps in a frozen food locker with the door cracked so it should be ok...'cept for the full moon thing. I also am leaving him my Giant Venus Flytrap Collection (I have 3)...there's only a 14% likelihood of them ever consuming a human being that comes within 6 feet of them (ya know, to water or feed them, and sing to them...their favorite song is "Horse with No name") so the risk to Monkey is negligible when compared to the thoughtfulness of my gesture.

I will even leave a proviso in the will to pay all shipping expenses ... I just need His Full Name and Address (oh, and also a social security number, and mother's maiden name, assuming he knows who his mother is....for tax purposes.)

Others are in it too, but I wanted to clear the air with Monkey. If I croak tomorrow (or if he does) I would hate for it to end on such bad terms...