19072 Members
14 Forums
40341 Topics
614094 Posts
Max Online: 788 @ 09/28/24 10:05 AM
|
|
|
#219143 - 01/25/07 08:00 PM
Da Burglar Buries the Hatchet, Puts Monkey in Will
|
Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/02/05
Posts: 5750
Loc: ATLANTIC CITY
|
This may come as a shock to some, but not all. I am dying. I dont have much longer to live. I am letting go of all grudges and anger and fits of peevish snobbery.
I have added Smelly Monkey to my "Last Will and Testament"... He will be receiving my Craftmatic Adjustable Bed...it malfunctions whenever the temperature goes above 72 degrees Fahrenheit, or whenever there is a full moon, it folds up like a taco Bell meximelt, but I suspect Monkey sleeps in a frozen food locker with the door cracked so it should be ok...'cept for the full moon thing. I also am leaving him my Giant Venus Flytrap Collection (I have 3)...there's only a 14% likelihood of them ever consuming a human being that comes within 6 feet of them (ya know, to water or feed them, and sing to them...their favorite song is "Horse with No name") so the risk to Monkey is negligible when compared to the thoughtfulness of my gesture.
I will even leave a proviso in the will to pay all shipping expenses ... I just need His Full Name and Address (oh, and also a social security number, and mother's maiden name, assuming he knows who his mother is....for tax purposes.)
Others are in it too, but I wanted to clear the air with Monkey. If I croak tomorrow (or if he does) I would hate for it to end on such bad terms...
_________________________
Are you gonna eat that?
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#219144 - 01/25/07 08:05 PM
Re: Da Burglar Buries the Hatchet, Puts Monkey in Will
|
Pervert
Registered: 04/21/04
Posts: 2204
|
a nigga pray daily for DB. i pray and pray and pray for them cripple leg and alchoholic liver and so forth. db like a nigga family for real. i aint just sayin that shit to get in the will either.. it be from the heart and db know that shit. we ridaz for life!
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#219146 - 01/25/07 10:09 PM
Re: Da Burglar Buries the Hatchet, Puts Monkey in
|
Pervert
Registered: 04/21/04
Posts: 2204
|
Quote:
Quote:
a nigga pray daily for DB. i pray and pray and pray for them cripple leg and alchoholic liver and so forth. db like a nigga family for real. i aint just sayin that shit to get in the will either.. it be from the heart and db know that shit. we ridaz for life!
To Guapo: All my late 1980s rap tapes, Young MC, Tone Loc and 2 Live Crew. Also my pool table...and my Harvard Diploma. Dude, do me a favor and promise me you'll send out letters and resumes using your Nigga speak lingo, and send them a copy of the diploma as "proof" you went to harvard. Perhaps the next US News & World Report will drop us a few spots in the ranking if you hit enough HR Bigwigs. I'm counting on ya bro.... I'll throw in $653.48 for stamps and Dr. Pepper...
ohh snap this you db? you changed them DB name on a nigga without droppin dime. Yeah nigga i cant deny a dyin man his last wishes, for real nigga i do what i can! i love me some education and with them diplomas on these here walls the sky the limit for a nigga. thats life altering shit we talking bout here. ill sip on my dr peppers while writting my letter to get them new jobs i will be shootin for. i love you db!
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#219147 - 01/25/07 10:39 PM
Re: Da Burglar Buries the Hatchet, Puts Monkey in
|
Pervert
Registered: 04/21/04
Posts: 2204
|
ahh damm db why you. WHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYY????????????
dedicated to my nigga / my brother/ my family db
guapo remix for yo ass db! one love
Sittin at the ghetto thinkin bout
All my homies bout to pass away (uuunnnggghhh!)
Candy painted wheelie chairs and triple gold
That's how me and my boy rolled
How could it be?
Somebody gone take my boy from me
My best friend soon gone
And I'm so all alone
I really miss my homie
Even though he aint gone away
I know you gone be in a better place
And I hope to see ya soon someday
I really gone miss my db ( UUUUUGGGGHHHHH)
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#219149 - 01/26/07 01:23 PM
Re: Da Burglar Buries the Hatchet, Puts Monkey in
|
Porn Jesus
Registered: 11/04/06
Posts: 4203
Loc: Bakersfield Plumbing Supplies ...
|
Burg, I think your death would best serve the board, and the others who will follow in your wheeltracks, if you just leave Monkey whatever ailments you can collect over the next few, short weeks.
Perhaps a bell jar full of botulism, cheekily labeled as botox. A humorous balloon full of Sarin. Anthrax spores placed inside Smelly Monkey's comedy trombone, or herpes (not the normal 'street' version, but the really vicious Irons-04 strain which is apparently incurable) on his lip balm.
Just a thought.
You know Monkey would do it for you.
_________________________
I also am subcribe to postal pornography - CAOH
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#219152 - 02/21/08 03:53 AM
Re: Da Burglar Buries the Hatchet, Puts Monkey in
|
Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/02/05
Posts: 5750
Loc: ATLANTIC CITY
|
Bump because it's not my fucking fault I have resources to keep my ass alive when others would have gone tits up years ago...Holly Randall gave me the will to live after I watched her eat sausages on a sunny day in July. That fucking beat any Blow bang or Jules jordan Feeding frenzy video lemme' tell ya'....even Gia J's scenes.
Still waiting on that personal info Monkey, you dont want to miss out on some really good shit do ya?
_________________________
Are you gonna eat that?
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#219153 - 02/21/08 07:08 AM
Re: Da Burglar Buries the Hatchet, Puts Monkey in
|
Internet Tough Guy
Registered: 01/27/07
Posts: 775
Loc: Snottsdale, Arizona
|
LOL at the Monkey ignoring you and this thread Burg. Monkey is a legend.
_________________________
I love cock and balls.
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#219157 - 02/22/08 07:38 AM
Re: Da Burglar Buries the Hatchet, Puts Monkey in
|
Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/19/04
Posts: 7888
Loc: Carpathian Mountains
|
Burg if you are looking to donate- here is where all your cash can go: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lgxHgJGZRRU&feature=related
_________________________
"Some say I'm lazy and others say that is just me.
Some say I'm crazy, I guess I'll always be"
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#219158 - 02/22/08 02:20 PM
Re: Da Burglar Buries the Hatchet, Puts Monkey in
|
Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/02/05
Posts: 5750
Loc: ATLANTIC CITY
|
Quote:
Quote:
Holly Randall gave me the will to live after I watched her eat sausages on a sunny day in July
Still waiting on that personal info Monkey
Ok heres my details for you burg after reading the quote above
mr creeped the fuck out
15 showers needed to feel clean again
you never have a shot with holly, ca
90210
Now come on Monkey, serious the fuck up and give me good info...You really dont want to miss out on this Bed, I am serious...I really REALLY want to give it to you, the thought of you smooshed like a taco (sadly) give me more of a boner at this point than even the above referenced Holly Sausage Consumption.
And wrong, I did have a shot with Holly until she found out that I am only partially crippled and have significant use of my lower limbs...the sympathy fuck angle crashed and burned shortly after Holly saw me actually stand up to order us coffee. Up to that point, I was like a wounded, abused-yet-highly intelligent and entertaining puppy that she wanted to take home and nurse back to health (and by the way Darth, her boobs are fucking perfect, for nursing/fondling/fucking/etc you shithead). Holly has absolute standards when it comes to who she will dole out sympathy (and sex) too, she is a warm kind-hearted soul but strict in certain areas. And before anyone mentions Luke, Holly has made it clear she was regretably intoxicated for much of that whole period, but even in Luke's case, it was clearly a case of sympathy sex. Ergo, it is not my fault I happen to be better looking than Luke, wheels, axels et al so thats another strike against any sympathy sex coming my way...but i know she still loves me in the platonic sense, so your statement above is Yet another case of Monkey attempting a fait accompli by simply stating his opinion as fact and leaving it at that...still, I am glad you are back. I dont expect you to admit at this point that I have as much meaning to XPT now as you do, but without worthy opponents and foils, you would be nothing but another dildo up lockwood's ass.
Great Rivalries in time:
Patton vs Rommel
Grant vs Lee
Caesar vs Gauls
Penicillin vs Germs
monkey vs Burglar 
_________________________
Are you gonna eat that?
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#219159 - 02/22/08 02:27 PM
Re: Da Burglar Buries the Hatchet, Puts Monkey in
|
Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
|
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Holly Randall gave me the will to live after I watched her eat sausages on a sunny day in July
Still waiting on that personal info Monkey
Ok heres my details for you burg after reading the quote above
mr creeped the fuck out
15 showers needed to feel clean again
you never have a shot with holly, ca
90210
Now come on Monkey, serious the fuck up and give me good info...You really dont want to miss out on this Bed, I am serious...I really REALLY want to give it to you, the thought of you smooshed like a taco (sadly) give me more of a boner at this point than even the above referenced Holly Sausage Consumption.
And wrong, I did have a shot with Holly until she found out that I am only partially crippled and have significant use of my lower limbs...the sympathy fuck angle crashed and burned shortly after Holly saw me actually stand up to order us coffee. Up to that point, I was like a wounded, abused-yet-highly intelligent and entertaining puppy that she wanted to take home and nurse back to health (and by the way Darth, her boobs are fucking perfect, for nursing/fondling/fucking/etc you shithead). Holly has absolute standards when it comes to who she will dole out sympathy (and sex) too, she is a warm kind-hearted soul but strict in certain areas. And before anyone mentions Luke, Holly has made it clear she was regretably intoxicated for much of that whole period, but even in Luke's case, it was clearly a case of sympathy sex. Ergo, it is not my fault I happen to be better looking than Luke, wheels, axels et al so thats another strike against any sympathy sex coming my way...but i know she still loves me in the platonic sense, so your statement above is Yet another case of Monkey attempting a fait accompli by simply stating his opinion as fact and leaving it at that...still, I am glad you are back. I dont expect you to admit at this point that I have as much meaning to XPT now as you do, but without worthy opponents and foils, you would be nothing but another dildo up lockwood's ass.
Great Rivalries in time:
Patton vs Rommel
Grant vs Lee
Caesar vs Gauls
Penicillin vs Germs
monkey vs Burglar
hmm I stopped after the first paragraph then skipped to the bottom and saw monkey v daburg as greatest xpt rivalries. I think you are probably 8th or 9th list, sammura, padova, swami, jrv, gypsy,etc,etc,etc rank above.
_________________________
“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#219160 - 02/22/08 03:06 PM
Re: Da Burglar Buries the Hatchet, Puts Monkey in
|
Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/02/05
Posts: 5750
Loc: ATLANTIC CITY
|
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Holly Randall gave me the will to live after I watched her eat sausages on a sunny day in July
Still waiting on that personal info Monkey
Ok heres my details for you burg after reading the quote above
mr creeped the fuck out
15 showers needed to feel clean again
you never have a shot with holly, ca
90210
Now come on Monkey, serious the fuck up and give me good info...You really dont want to miss out on this Bed, I am serious...I really REALLY want to give it to you, the thought of you smooshed like a taco (sadly) give me more of a boner at this point than even the above referenced Holly Sausage Consumption.
And wrong, I did have a shot with Holly until she found out that I am only partially crippled and have significant use of my lower limbs...the sympathy fuck angle crashed and burned shortly after Holly saw me actually stand up to order us coffee. Up to that point, I was like a wounded, abused-yet-highly intelligent and entertaining puppy that she wanted to take home and nurse back to health (and by the way Darth, her boobs are fucking perfect, for nursing/fondling/fucking/etc you shithead). Holly has absolute standards when it comes to who she will dole out sympathy (and sex) too, she is a warm kind-hearted soul but strict in certain areas. And before anyone mentions Luke, Holly has made it clear she was regretably intoxicated for much of that whole period, but even in Luke's case, it was clearly a case of sympathy sex. Ergo, it is not my fault I happen to be better looking than Luke, wheels, axels et al so thats another strike against any sympathy sex coming my way...but i know she still loves me in the platonic sense, so your statement above is Yet another case of Monkey attempting a fait accompli by simply stating his opinion as fact and leaving it at that...still, I am glad you are back. I dont expect you to admit at this point that I have as much meaning to XPT now as you do, but without worthy opponents and foils, you would be nothing but another dildo up lockwood's ass.
Great Rivalries in time:
Patton vs Rommel
Grant vs Lee
Caesar vs Gauls
Penicillin vs Germs
monkey vs Burglar
hmm I stopped after the first paragraph then skipped to the bottom and saw monkey v daburg as greatest xpt rivalries. I think you are probably 8th or 9th list, sammura, padova, swami, jrv, gypsy,etc,etc,etc rank above.
it should take you 20-30 seconds tops to read what i wrote, sorry your ADD prescriptions are no longer covered by med-i-Cal, my condolences...
As for Monkey vs Padova, Gypsy, etc. thats like the old Mike Tyson-in-his-prime vs. the likes of Trevor Berbic, James "Bonehugger" Smith and Michael Spinks...great spectacles if you like watching the neighbor's fucked up kid sprinkle salt on Slugs after a rainstorm.
I am Buster Douglas...somehow I get inside your head and annoy/perplex you to a degree disproportinate to what i should. Which is weird because, to be honest, the day (and manner) you started hating me is still a mystery...one day in early 2006 after AEE you just decided I was no longer a pillar of this fucked up community...things just rolled downhill from there...
_________________________
Are you gonna eat that?
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
|
0 registered (),
335
Guests and
2
Spiders online. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Those were some damn good sausages. Mmmm, sausages.... 
Previous Topic
Index
