This isn't porn. This is a witchhunt. I've never seen anything as ludicrious as this. Remember the scene in Monty Python's Holy Grail when the guy is going around picking up dead people and one old geezer is brought out and knocked on the head? This is the pornographic equivalent. This is what happens:

A woman is raped in a barnyard. Another man recieves a handjob while he stands next to a cow. At a cocktail party a woman jerks off a man. A couple spy on a man being felated in a car. A woman is masturbating, a man walks in and jumps on her causing the bed to slide through the wall and into the next room where a woman is fingering herself. A blonde bimbo masturbates a man to climax into her hand- then he acts like a dog while she smears the semen on her cunt. What the hell is going on? The credits roll and the film begins. So what the hell did I just watch?

3 farm guys are led into a room where they whip out their shlongs and show 5 chicks (one is the blonde bimbo from the last scene). Each chick takes her pick of a guy who she takes into a room and fucks. A secretary types a love letter to a guy whose out looking for another chick who loves him. This relationship ends up not working and is actually not tied to this story in anyway. Back on the farm, the blonde bimbo is ravaged by a maniac. He turns her around and slaps her buttocks, then turns her around and fucks her like a jack rabbit. At this point my head hurts. I have no idea whether to laugh or masturbate. Maybe I can do both.

A guy whose got no place in porn walks in on Deborah Wells and fucks her as she counts money. In another room a fat bitch with big floppy jugs gives another guy a blow job. I'm starting to get the hang of this porn. It's like taking acid- you don't fight the visuals, you go with the flow.

A chick brings 3 guys beers as they play cards in a cave. She removes her clothes and exposes herself to the gents. She writhes a little, she shakes her hips. The men jerk off- one guy wakes up and fucks her while explaing to the other two how good it feels. He cums on her ass and they all laugh. Once outside one guy makes an ill comment to this chick. She pinches his face and he goes flying into a bucket. A weird guy laughs at him. I'm half way through the film now.

A naked guy is laughed at by some chicks. The old lady returns and continues to tell us things are about to get even more bizarre. Remember the blonde from the beginning? That scene is continued here. What in God's name is the editor thinking? This blonde chick and the chick in the scene that came afterwards have a lesbo scene. Remeber the chick that wrote the romantic letter? She narrates her letter while we get some nature shots. I can't believe what I'm seeing.

At a doctors office a woman is fucked. Another woman masturbates with a cucumber while the weird guy masturbates watching her. Then they fuck. After that the weird guy plays doctor- he examines every girl in the house (read: he boinks every chick available). After that he goes to the barn and climbs up a ladder. A chick tries to scare him, but he jumps on a swing, throws her off into a pile of hay and fucks her. In another room, 3 guys are playing musical chairs nude with a chick on the floor. Everytime the music stops the dudes sit down and get a blowjob. The weird guy (again) grabs the chick, takes her to another room and fucks her. Then he takes a spoon and peels her twat with it. He looks at her and says "Say Ahhh" "Ahhhhhh!" The end!

This is part 6 of a series now available as a box set.

i might be the only one who thinks so, but dvd/video reviews is the most happening section lately.

I've seen softcore cuts of the first two parts of aforesaid Heidi series on German television in the nineties. The makers obviously tried to emulate the spirit of the "Lederhosen movies" of the 70s/80s but did not quite succeed in doing so. All I remember is average-looking girls (to put it politely) and totally lunatic scripts. Not that it's a bad thing though...