damn it bdm... an LI in a pounder glass sounds fucken good.

i'm too lazy to make that shit at home so i'm no help with a decent mix. sorry

Workin on a Kesslers and diet coke as we speak. I'm amazed at how good cheap whiskey tastes.

Up all night with a fifth of Glenmorangie.

Hit me again Sam !

He should have had Strausser disappear that champagne cocktail drinking Victor Lazlo.

watermelon vodka soda.

I'm not going to wait for tonight. I'm putting some brandy in my coffee now. Should make for som interesting posts later today.

FUCK. me, again!

G+T for the zero ppl that care.

I don't think I've drank anything more than 2 beers at pool league in a couple months. I've gotten so boring as I've aged.

Ikea glass full of vodka tonic [Tito's vodka, generic tonic water and a lime].

Drinking some Pinot Noir from a small winery from Nakedwines.com

cheap and not gut wrenching. try it.

Had Kettle One and Club Soda with lime last night, popped a Molly and hit the town. Made it into my favorite dive bar where everyone was all dressed up for a best costume contest except for me. One girl had her hair in pigtails and was kind of dressed like that singing bitch on the hill from the old "Sound of Music" movie. I asked one of my friends what kind of costume that was. Like, is she Germany?? The girl next to me called me an idiot and said she clearly looked Swiss. Apparently I asked my question kind of loudly, because when it was her time to go up and be judged she said, "Hi. My name is Lindsay.... And I'm GERMANY!" This earned me a round of cheers and high fives.

The guy next to me had on a Scooby Dooby dog outfit which reminded me of this one time back in college when my friend tried to get me to go out for Halloween even though I didn't have a costume. He was like, "You can just put on a brown suit and say you're Scooby." He has a doctorate degree in microbiology now and teaches at a university.

Seeing people all dressed up in costumes sometime makes me feel dumb because I usually can't figure out what they are. I asked this slutty looking girl next to me if she was a gypsy and she was like, "No dummy, I'm a genie." I was like, what's the fucking difference? And then I asked if the girl across the bar was a gypsy or a genie and she turned out to be a fortune teller. Again, what is the fucking difference? Some Indian guy dressed up as a drunk Indian and I think I pissed some people off by saying he should have worn a Redskin's jersy.

A chubby chick came over to hit on me and we chatted for a bit about how we're much better people now than we used to be when we were younger and how we're really trying to just be nicer to others and act well now. She was telling me that I reminded her of this comedian from Comedy Central. "It's Dave something. Dave Chapelle, I think?" I told her I'm pretty sure that he's a negro. Keep in mind I'm a 6'6" fairly fit white guy with a shaved head and a skullcap hat on at the time. So then she was like, "Oh no, I meant Dave Attell!" I was kind of insulted and blurted out, "I'm not a short, little Jew!" Her jaw dropped and the conversation ended and she wandered off to talk about what I had said like I'm worse than Hitler or something. Like I said, the bitch was fat anyways. And I guess the term "negro" is now kosher but "Jew" somehow is not.

We left that spot and hit another one to meet up with some girls we know. One of them is a bit of a trollop and my friend that I was with had already hooked up with her but she wanted to hang on me and kiss me all night. Actually we kind of passed her back and forth because we were both drunk and high. I proceeded to pay her the worst compliment ever. She's lost weight and has been working out and after feeling her up I told her, "Baby, your calf's as firm as a frozen beef tenderloin." She wants to have dinner and go to a movie now, but I don't think so. We must have all looked like we were about to have an orgy because the bartenders tossed batches of condoms at us at closing time.

My body now feels polluted and I need some downtime.

Colt 45 malt liquor 18 oz bottle. Hadn't had any malt liquor in years.

That's funny but if you click the sites home page you can find some even funnier. I didn't know the Onion had competition.

Michter's Bourbon. Goooooood stuff.

bunch of family in town so it's time to switch to booze...
ketel one and cuervo for tomorrow and some of the big day.

Some cheap knock off brand rum and some generic cherry cola. What's up, fellas?

Gonna raise a glass of Kendall-Jackson cab in honor of maged tonight. Surreptitiously, of course--wouldn't want an XPT admin to barge into my house and tase my family over it.

No grinning police officer tasing the asswhoreted upriser.

There's no honour in police brutality these days.

a few cans of leo. quiet friday night in..

Except for last night, I haven't had a drink all year.

Ba-dum-bum.

Couple glasses of Turning Leaf Pinot Noir. Soft, raspberries with just a touch of sweet.

Dude blew .467 on the breathalyzer. He must have just puked and had a mouth full of alcohol.

I read a news story about 10 years ago about a guy who maxed out the meter on the breathalyser but he was a professional fire breather and was returning from a job at the time.

I like Turning Leaf just fine. I had some red as well tonight and a glass of amaretto with dessert. I'm tryna take it easy in 2014.

Japs buy Maker's Mark

http://www.kentucky.com/2014/01/13/3031681/beam-inc-to-be-acquired-by-japanese.html

My God, that is tragic.

Firefly Sweet Tea Vodka and lemonade- very sweet!

Went out on a Monday night to a nearby town and to a steakhouse that has a bar. Drank a bunch of bud and hit on a 19 year old server and a 22 year old waitress. Got them on facebook and then went to another smaller nearby town and hit on some college chicks that were debating about religion with some drunk dude. Got all them on facebook too. All the younguns I met last night had nice asses and sweet smiles. One was from Iowa and I really enjoyed talking to her. Most of the ones in the latter scenario were all med students at my alma mater. Place is eat up with young pussy these days. Who knows I might have sowed a seed or two last night for a future symathy fuck.......yeah right! Anyway I drank Bud and Rolling Rock all night and had a massive hangover this morning and have slept off and on all day. Daddy's gettin old !

Damn man, you are getting up there to be tryin' to hang with college girls!

2 oz. of Jack Daniel's Single Barrel with ice.

Some small vineyard cabernet franz. Got a strange finish.

Snowing here so the alcohol is flowing. Got a good fire going and my dog is happy.

What is he, like three now? Has he ever seen snow?

Im thinking he'll be four this summer. He's seen two snows but still approaches it like a child.

Now here's a story about shit. I took another one today that I'm pretty sure I could've lit on fire if I'd thrown a match on it. I would've preferred that to what actually happened. See, I got so drunk Sunday that I forgot to take my daily shit. Come Monday, it was so long and firm that it actually stood straight up when it hit the toilet bowl. And when it finally broke off, it toppled over slowly like the leaning tower of Pisa, glancing off my right butt cheek as it fell. I immediately started gagging, almost threw up and then jumped in the shower. And now the toilet is blocked. So remember, always take a break from booze long enough for your daily dump.

Set a timer or alarm clock or something.

Most people don't need an app for that. My colon usually lets me know.

Jack Daniel's Single Barrel

Usually. But I bet there is an app.

Just woked up a little while ago and thought it was 11am, but it's 11pm so I might as well have another since there's no reason to be sober at this hour.

Maker's Mark is some smoooooooooth stuff.

I love Makers and that's what I keep on hand at home but treat yourself to some Woodford Reserve sometime for a change

Shit, I wish you'd told me that yesterday. Taking the birthday 5-day weekend and when whisky-fan friend said "what should I get?" I went with the gut.

JB, I'm in the city the next two days. Drinks on me. We'll hang with my friend at our LES bar.