time to bring back an old Mike South post:

Top 10 Things You Will NEVER Hear Kurt Lackwood (I mean Lockwood) Say:

10) I hate the Abercrombie & Fitch catalog.
9) Women are the true stars of porn.
8) Pussy tastes good.
7) Really, I'm modest deep down.
6) I'm really happy for Tyler and Wankus.
5) You are not sticking that in my ass!
4) The tattoo above my butt means I hate buttsex.
3) I love women!
2) That dildo is too big!
1) I'm truly sorry I was such an assclown.