Three Weeks in Review = All This Fun without Me

Hurry up, Register, Post, and Bathe in the warm, sticky comradery of your new XPT friends!
"The girl looks like a Puerto Rican tranny. And not a cute one at that." - Charlie @ Fox Magazine
Not listed at part of LUNCH: a warm bowl of Brazilian Snot Porn Soup.
GG's favorite porn line: "Fuck me in my cock-filled ass." - Audrey Hollander 'Lips that Lie'
Newbie DaBadGuy finds out "squirt" is pee. If forced, reverse bukkake can be shit.
GngBngGrl Update: Irritable vowel syndrome has progressed to full-blown vowel cancer.
May your Gucci gift cards never reach a zero balance.
Pregnant whore funds baby shower with "preger" pics.
Smell another picture thread? - Scratch n Sniff Mia Rose photos!
Porn is all about Fantasy.
The viewer fantasizes about fucking a hot chick.
The "Pornstar" fantasizes that s/he is a star!
A Prayer Unanswered: "Please, dear God, no more nonsense ramblings from this Crisco huffing pig."
"I'm not saying, hey, grow up and have sex for money." - Noami
Sudden increase in 18 yr-olds with orthodontia as wannabes fill the vacuum left by Leah Luv.
Jodie Foster can sing in French while on a swing.
Did you know: Chico is Sergio in Italian!
Forward to 2030. Obese Weehawken man found in front PC after being dead over a year.
"Once they tried to hide it and glued the ear back on ... That’s not good for the dog."
Dreams denied: KK doesn't do the anal, and the whore is a germaphobe.
Whore Law: If you pass out on H and you leave your handbag wide open, the other whores are allowed to go dumpster-diving in there
MY NAME IS STEPHANIE, I'M A BIG SLUT, AND I LIE ABOUT A LOT OF THINGS.
BrandonMobile, complete with bukkake air fresheners - For Sale CHEAP!!
Selling point: Each tire valve is actually another man's erect penis
Vegas odds for "Sale prior to Repo" set at a firm 50 to 1.
Gia Jordan's hair has been telling Loop how it wants to be pulled back and shoved down to the floor.
Jamesn told me God previewed the 10 Commandments. Jamesn hates that.
Question for Windsock: On Meat Curtains, aren't Redheads all 100% 'innies'?
Vin sees becoming a KSEX DJ as the pinnacle of his life.
Ashley Blue leaves JM Productions for a collection of beat writings and a used beret.



Nothing says "Be My Valentine" like Ceara's oiled ass.


















"Celery. Lots of celery. Like buy $5 worth at the grocery store, and eat it all.""
Trinity says it isn't Robbye's job to look cute.
Say WHAAAAT??? Have2Cit it fingered El Glorioso's mangina at AEE?!?
Is it weird being an abomination of the natural order of things, like a "liger"?
Narcissism. Delusions of grandeur. Hypocrisy. Did I miss anything?
"Ummm, I'm not British!" - Wendy "no O." Williams
Being six feet under isn't going to stop certain XPT posters from fucking your mother.
XPT turns: "Didn't Sierra steal a bunch of stuff on a porn set in the past few weeks? It sounds like her MO"
"Trying living here for a while, and I'll bet you'd hate it even more." - Pittsburgh Chamber of Commerce
Surgical Fact: It's not uncommon to meet strippers who've had their breasts done 4-7 times.
If Hillary Scott fulfills all the conditions of her contract, then she walks away with $1M. - USFL's L.A. Express
Christian XXX takes AZT mention as cue to leave.
Porn whores earn more than nurses, teachers, youth workers …
Jenna Jameson: What Lara Flynn Boyle would look like as blonde......with big implants.
The two youngest kids in the family are not actually the father's children but the children of the mother and the oldest son.
"I would be more then happy to make my cum drenched face my avatar for your viewing pleasures." - Mia Rose
XPT: Sooner or later someone you know will be pilloried here for everyone else's enjoyment.
She may be a liar and a manipulator, but it's probably because she doesn't know any other way to survive.
"Like Icarus, I flew too high in the blogosphere, and like Icarus, I lie here crumbled and burned." - Bornyo
… is now a Smelly Monkey: Mad Lib?!?
Jesus. He's always been a drug pusher and deserves to be punished.
"I never ate pussy, but I will do it for you at the drop of a dime....… " - Thiedral Elliot Spears, SS# …
Belladonna bro follows sis into Cocksucking. No news if he plans to grow tits.
Poor GG gets the shitty "Kirstie Alley" role in every XPT remake.
This is Gia Paloma - what kind of powder would you assume it was?
Disappointing Cat fights: Ava vs. Mia. Jezebelle vs. Dana. Kurt vs. Gram.
A "Bad Lieutenant" forced to spray his "Captain Cream". Damned Whore!!!
If we weren't a nation of God-fearing Evangelicals, you can bet that porn sales would be a fraction of what they are now.
Ben peers out of the cage and asks if there's really was a "Porn Jesus".
"I'll let you in on a little secret: I knew all along how crappy I was/am as a person and a journalist." - Scott Fayner
Famous Last Words: "Oh shit! Fuck me!" - Bee Aye
A doctor who makes his living off INTENTIONAL mutilation of the body in a calculated risk that when it heals it will be more "attractive" ... That takes a special kind of arrogance, conceit, and perversion.




Send your hard earned cash to Travis of blueskiesbrowndirt@yahoo.com



There are more girls in porn today than their are STDs.
Ashley Blue is boring, fat and married to a guy who looks like walking death.
Mia Rose: Piercing. It's the only way I have any sensation
Spring training underway. Darth: Best lead-off hitter.
"Shit talkin retards need 2 die and I will fuckin ninja chop u in da nutzzzzzzz" - Sierra Sinn
XPT: "Committed to eventually driving away every attractive female performer who posts here!"
New Porn Jesus Have2CIt's ban prayer remains unanswered by his monkey god.
Now where the fuck can I go find a bra to fit this shit?????
FAR TOO MANY TRANNY PICs
Justine Joli blowing carnies for $150.
If Jesus can't be used as an excuse for every idiot's irresponsible behavior what good is he?
Those murders in Poughkeepsie, they're on you ChickenMaster. faggot!
Prophet Conky predicts "Helter Skelter" Sasha Grey style.
An esteemed panel of Irish Nationalists rate the porn blogs.
"Holly is simply brilliant... with a dick in her mouth."
Bridget the Midget will scan your bathroom for a crack pipe, but she doesn't go to AA meetings.
The Unlawful Accommodation of Donkeys Act 1837 has been violated.
"They've been injected with botox all over their body then beaten over the head to ensure the transformation doesn't come out right."
"Fucking BITCH!! My sister's been fucking around behind my back!" - translated from German for Belladonna
Jamesn leaves China in a huff after they refuse to feed Manchurian Tigers a Tiger shark … or way it the other way around.
POST SOMETHING, FUCKERS!!!



Dante Illustrated: "Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate":

(new to the biz) ---> (in the biz) (money) ---> (addiction, shot out, must support habit with) ---> (why?) (oh Lord, no) (why? why? why?) ---> Leaves porn (6-12 months pass, broke, re enters porn repeats cycle one more time, maybe twice) --->(finds Jesus) :happierthanbefore: then, eventually



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XPT Oscar Nod for best script:
Chico Travieso, Sierra's Coach and Manager uses a new fangled dog poop scooper to collect the penile remains of BI and incinerates it in the back yard of his posh San Pedro Beach House.
Accepted on behalf of Cecil Dee BeeMille by an AHFD Ceara Lynch in Armani panties


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I'll take the "taco" combo, please. Oh yeah, I have a coupon.


This has been a public service announcement brought to you by the chronic-masturbating pervs of XPT