The Week of Ava Rose's Birthday, 2007:

The woman drives across country to kidnap and kill someone, and all we care about is the stinking "diaper".
An upmarket London beauty salon says it can give your hair the ultimate shine by treating it with a mixture that includes semen from thoroughbred bulls.
Windsock scripts variation off the woman force-choked with her phone for a future "Gag Factor". Jeff "likey".
When an obsessive/compulsive bi-polar internet blowhard such as FatMan suggests you ought to drop a subject, it's time to sit back and re-assess.
Teens claim early exposure to unwanted porn. And, they don't know who put that "oregano" in their sock drawer.
Distraught over his ex-wife getting a mention here last week, Ryan O'Neal pulls out a gun on his son.
Kelly Steele Presents: Alcoholic suitcase-pimp of has-been whore finances ferry for Al-Queda use and is sent to Turkish prison.
Rob Longshot is the answer to a question that was never asked.
Gia in Dayton, OH: "It's 16 degrees and six inches of snow. I'm wearing thermals under two pairs of sweatpants and a big cable knit sweater."
Willie D TV movie broadcast is temporarily interrupted by a "Simpsons" episode.
To shoot porn all you need is a yellow sofa, a working shower and a bottle of lube - Katja Kassin
Ninja mod Sierra Sinn bans the use of "bans".
Wait until your father gets home!!! A returning Chico lays down the law in "New Talent"!
She is Russian and was a trapeze artist until she broke her wrists falling off, but she definitely does not do anal.
Fuck, that's deep. I'm gonna go pack a bowl now.
Never split a cab with a hooker. Make the 'ho WALK!!
This guy couldn't defend himself against an attacking Balloon Animal.
ShitInPublic.com is the best argument for more/better public bathrooms.
Travelling with Gia tip o' the day: Smuggled mustard packs and sliced tomatoes make a tasty snack.
Meteor intended by Elohim for a certain Mr. Ford takes out two Indian nomads instead when his "companion" Ha-Satan intervenes.
Save the filaments from the back of the silverfish to use for floss after eating it.
In case of making a sudden rambling post that causes you to feel like the FatMan: Stop, log off and shower immediately.
Clubsatan.com is as weak as BIFF is pathetic.
The Cookie Monster: Audrey Bitoni [sched issue with whoring possible]
Banks suspected that Grey's youthful looks were a magnate [sic] for porno sleazeballs.
LouCypher gets a week hard time for derailing threads, preaching hate and running an unlicensed "crew".
It's called laughing, Rob. We are laughing at your illness.
Seka returns to porn at 52. Should be a better non-prescription appetite suppressant than the pills Anna Nicole puked up.
If you're going to NYC and use the Lincoln Tunnel, wave to top of the high cliff to the left before you go in!
Upstate NY buried in snow. Anna Nicole Smith buried in piano box.
Canada introduces new million dollar coin [Canadian]. With the current conversion rate that's 2 for $5 [US], 5 for $10.
Elizabeth Michelle Lawrence: Another Dirty Whore Looking For Cock Alover The World!!!
Luke Ford would like to be intimate, but his testicles only make sand now.
Convicts Read, Learn, Remember: THE FIRST 50 PEOPLE WHO POP GET PAID IN CASH.
Somebody should chase ex-pornstars "in hiding" - It would make a good series.
More on Moxxie's Foxxy Boxxie. When is she going to make the jump from double to triple Xs?
"When working I have withdrawals, sweats and the intense desire to vomit like a whore in 'Gag Factor'." - Gen P.
FatMan's future Smartt car fits comfortably inside TheVODGuy's SUV.
Porn should be about fantasy, not the horrific reality of Life.
GG comes out to she her shadow.
Boston: Downgraded to Terre Haute pop-culture awareness level.
"Is it OK to stare openly at the other guy's cocks if we're having trouble getting wood?" - Brandon Iron
Kids left in -2 wind chill. "She said she was going on vacation and felt that the tanning was a priority."
Bachelor of Hygiene to be required for all Malaysian bathroom attendants.
Required for Payment: Proof of Identity. Proof of Age. Proof of Pop.
Bob Balaban impersonator mistakes Sunny Lane for Sunny Leone. Slander Charges Pending.
REVELATION: NOT all Squirt is pee. Worst New Release: Ass Squirts.
KSEX's Self-confessed sensitive creepy guy Powder finds that "the hair" can break the man.
Gleaned from the classic poem: "Her soul, now gone, to pastures new, where it will marry a wealthy Jew."
GWS, Raven Riley tribute thread welcomed. Still no word if she made it to Holly's mom's.
Free from all cacti indentures, Chasey Lain returns to porn.
Few posts from Mia. The last time I saw her she had a "Got God?" T on. She was "blowing", though.
Guapo's granddaddy didn't even have game enough to wake Snow White.
Word from down under: If hiring Sunny Lane expect her to turn up with a basket of puppies and rays of sunshine shooting out of her nipples.
The path to Druid Hell is paved with the broken bodies of shot squirrels.
PrimeTimeUncensored.com premieres with some new guy playing "Batman".
Ultimate Winner of HD-DVD vs. Blu-Ray hi-def porn war? No one!!!!
Silverfish can go a whole year without food.

"Click me" of the Week:
Shame on you, Luke Ford. SHAME!

"No daughter of mine sucks cock like that! You do it like the priest showed you, or I'll take my belt to you!"
::conkywithspittleinthecornersofhismouth::

"You can be gay for pay if you're a girl, but you can't be gay for pay if you're a dude. You can't get your dick hard unless you're turned on. Right?" - Tyler Faith

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Daily Schedule of Upcoming Notable Events this Week:

Mon 2/12 LouCypher paroled. ::palmoliverollseyes::
Tue 2/13 Gia Jordan 35 3/4 BDay. [Kitten Natividad 59].
Wed 2/14 Kurt Lockwood surprises self with roses for Valentine's Day!
Thu 2/15 Several Vermont Bear Grams returned to Mr. Powder as "refused".
Fri 2/16 Willie D bumps "Who's Drinking Tonight" thread.
Sat 2/17 Monstar attends Nikki Benz' Santa Barbara show.
Sun 2/18 Chinese New Year - Year of the PIG!



Celebrations begin in earnest as there will be no FatMan posts this week.




Surgeon General Reports: There is no "chronic fatigue syndrome" - You're just fucking lazy, ASSHOLE!