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Burg, buy one for next week. Seriously. I remember how much fun the douche bag on the Segway had, swerving around people last year or whenever it was.

As a genuine wheelchair user, you can smash into assholes at high speed in one of those and do 'hard arrests' on porn whores by sweeping them off their feet and into your lap as you speed toward the exit.

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Not bad Conky, you must have seen the Wesley Snipes/Eric Stoltz tearjerker "The Waterdance"....favorite line, a van full of 5 or 6 paraplegics in their wheelchairs almost gets in an accident with an 18 wheeler going 50 mph. The Korean crippled dude says "Good thing we are already crippled..."