Greetings fellow pornography fans. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is William X. Brighton III. My overreaching goal for joining this fine board is threefold: 1. To discuss the adult film industry. 2. To review adult films. 3. To bring some gravely needed class and dignity to XPT. In order to help you people better understand myslelf, allow me to inform you of my background as well as my distinguished accomplishments:

- I was born in Merideth, New Hampshire on October 20, 1955.
- I am classically a trained pianist.
- I graduated from Yale with a 4.2GPA. My awards were plentiful. Most notably, I received the Edward O. Millswell award for excellency.
- I currently hold 17 records for the Yale track and field team.
- I have climbed Mt. Everest three times.
- I have made love to over 3,000 women of 17 different nationalities.
- I have set foot on every continent on Earth.
- I am the founder of Clyde Downing Project.
- I served in Operation Desert Storm, where I registered 147 confirmed kills, most of them adult males.
- I served on the board of trustees for the Atlantic Coast Citizens Alliance (ACCA).
- I have fathered 27 children, none of which I have any social or financial ties with whatsoever.
- While wintering in Wisconsin in 1978, I overpowered and killed a 12 point buck with my bare hands.
- I have fostered 4 generations of champion Irish Wolfhounds.
- I am one of only three people certified to handle nuclear waste in the state of South Dakota.
- I founded the Plaat County Anti-terrorist Action Squad.
- I made the 12th largest diamond mine discovery in South Africa.
- I have discovered and named 137 recognized species.
- I have over 400 publications in journals ranging from economics to abnormal psychology.
- I am the founder of the South Point Anti-gypsy league.
- I spent 7 years in the CIA.
- I own every adult film released in the United States between 1978-2003.
- I spent 3 years with the Hnu tribe of Papua New Guinea.
- I own and operate 7 factories in four different countries.
- I am trained in muaythai and took 3rd place in the Stranton County regional tough man competition.
- I tried out for the Buffalo Bills in 1977, ‘81, ‘82, and ‘93.
- I have appeared in 5 major motion picture films.
- I served as a liasion for the 9/11 Commission.
- I have written 27 novels, 15 of which have been published.
- I was paralyzed in a ski lift accident in 1987. I have since made a full recovery and can leg press over 3,000 lbs.
- I mentored Cliffton L. Jameson, the inventor of the commercial drug Plavix.
- I am a legal citizen of Belgium, Italy, and Turkmenistan.

These are just a few of my numerous accomplishments. I look forward to cordially conversing with all of you concerning all that is unclean.

Sincerely,
William X. Brighton III