When my ex and I were shooting custom pics for guys, on of our associates was this old huge titted whore. She told us she knew some guy with a Harley she wanted to pose on. She wanted to call the set "Class on Class". It was a real downer for her when I explained that no one was jerking off to "class".

They all want so badly to believe that they're more than fodder for mastyrbation. But deep down they know they're not.

You know, figgs, I'm not sure if I even want to start it. Starting a "dumb shit Kristina Rose says" thread would be like starting a "dumb shit Sarah Palin says" thread. It would kick off with a blast, then quickly spiral from funny to just downright sad.

^^^Sounds like every time I have sex.

In fairness, the two clowns who one the election say far dumber stuff than the Alaskan Twit. I'm still trying to figure out why you would cast a vote for someone who has visited 57 States.

thats some good jondra that came in two sizes too strong.

http://forum.adultdvdtalk.com/forum/topic.dlt/topic_id=154906/forum_id=1/cat_id=1/154906.htm

Gotta keep this thread alive.

Bernard is a 26 year old virgin, who's main goal in life is to lose his virginity to a pornstar. Later, he proudly boasts that he can go 5-8 hours with a fleshlight.:

Ok im a 26 year old virgin male and I love porn ive been collecting dvds since I was 17teen ever since I was alittle kid ive always been horny.But I have not had sex not because im not a good lookin guy im actully good lookin and woman hit on me I look more like a tennager.But I would rather have sex with porn stars then hook up with a girl at the bar etc.The thought of loseing my virginity to a porn star seems like what ive been waiting for and to be filmed is even better since adult movies are my favorite.So im wondering how would I find a job in porn ?
When I look online all I ever find is info on women and gay guys in porn but not straight guys is their less of a need for straight guys ?
Is their a porn series for guys loseing their virginity or new to the buisness ?

Thanks
Bernard


http://forum.adultdvdtalk.com/forum/topic.dlt/topic_id=145166/forum_id=1/cat_id=1/145166.htm

Which non Hispanic white guys have cock size approaching that of a Lexington Steele, Mandingo, Sean Michaels, etc?


Here's a guy who's wondering where all the big white cocks are in porn. Lucky enough, the ADT cock experts where there to point him in the right direction.

Bernard probably has Asperger's.

They've got a thread over there somewhere where a guy asks for scenes where the woman is wearing hoop earrings, the bigger the better. . He "reasons" that the bigger the earrings they wear the bigger the dick they like.

^thats some logic right there.

Oh, yeah. I totally caught that one. Soooo funny to see the ADT crowd scramble to provide him with hoop earring pics. I wanted to post it, but I'm keeping it to the more outrageous and lulzy stuff.

Scenes where guys accidently come on other guys:


http://forum.adultdvdtalk.com/forum/topic.dlt/topic_id=165637/forum_id=1/cat_id=1/165637.htm


Oh, my dear fucking Jesus Lord God in fucking heaven please tell me this is a troll post.

My experiences over there with Goldstein lead me to believe that he lacks the sense of humor required to be a capable troll. At least 70% of his posts include either a link to or a cut and paste job from a stupid New York Times editorial or column.

How can one limit it to only one faggy thread of the day over there ?

http://forum.adultdvdtalk.com/forum/topic.dlt/topic_id=166480/forum_id=1/cat_id=1/166480.htm

If that place gets any gayer it's going to spontaneously combust.

Wrong. Just wrong.

http://forum.adultdvdtalk.com/forum/topi...782#post2073782

More of the same shit, highly entertaining post by Goldstein.

The fact that it was moved to a different forum by a steadfast moderator takes the comedy from terrestrial to cosmic.

It's nice to see that there are others in a deeper depression pit than me. And I can get laid.

LOL

^^^ way to contribute.

One more.

http://forum.adultdvdtalk.com/forum/topic.dlt/topic_id=114731/forum_id=1/cat_id=1/114731.htm

Goddamn three year old thread bumped for gayness on the sly.

Nothing sly about that gayness.

So, when it's my birthday, Mrs. Fartz will throw on somethin' sexy, put a buttplug in, give me a massage with said accessories in place, then let me do whatever the fuck I want with her.

This lucky fellow, however, might just be able to get his girl to watch some gangbang porn with him on his big day, as long as the guys are hot and well hung. Remember, this is his criteria, not hers. Will ADT save the day for this enviable man? Oh, the jealousy....

http://forum.adultdvdtalk.com/forum/topic.dlt/topic_id=166561/forum_id=1/cat_id=1/166561.htm

Hi everyone,
My birthday is coming up and I asked my GF if she'd be interested in watching a MMF / gangbang porn film with me.
We've watched porn together before, but she usually doesn't really like it when there's more than one guy involved, I however do.

We both enjoy watching a girl take on a big dick (think Mandingo, Shane Diesel, Lex Steele, Billy Glide, Jack Napier), but as I'd like to take on this opportunity to get her to maybe like scenes with more than one guy, and potentially a DP, I'd be interested to hear your suggestions.

Ideally the male actors would be good looking, well equipped men that show respect towards the girl, yet know how to fuck. Dirty-talk is definitely allowed. No more than 3 guys though.
The girl should look real, as in no huge fake tits, she can have a big butt, and generally be the type that really enjoys it.

Maybe I'm being too picky, but then again there must be scenes that fit the description out there. I'm looking forward to hearing your expert suggestions!

Thanks!

"i'm totally straight though".

Alright. At this point, I truly believe that ADT is purposely fucking with us.

http://forum.adultdvdtalk.com/forum/topic.dlt/topic_id=166716/forum_id=1/cat_id=1/166716.htm


Hey All! I never even imagined that there would be porn forums (not sure why) what an awesome idea!!
Anyway, here are a few (kinky) things I really wanna see if anybody's got some links to make me smile


1) LOTS of sloppy seconds with no cleanup e.g. a woman taking 3 or even 10 creampies one after the other, all getting mixed together. I love a couple of things about this: that there are a lot of straight guys who would participate in this act and yet they're fucking a bunch of other guy's cum and I also like how slutty a woman has to be to do this.

2) Same as above but somebody (preferably a guy) eating the creampie! - Bonus points if he's being assfucked at the same time and maybe sucking some dick as well.

3) Same as 1 & 2 but involving the chicks pissing... like my absolute ideal would be something like seeing a guy lay on his back and get assfucked whilst a chick squats on his face and he eats her creampie / drinks her piss / she pisses on his face.

I know there is a big difference between fantasy and reality but I fantasise about being involved in the above three scenarios and find them a huge turn-on but I wonder if I'd be able to go through with it IRL (I've never had a threesome, never done anything gay or bi even).

Anyway, if anybody has links to stuff like that, it would be AWESOME!!

The Best Sexual Moment thread is full of win.

First there is a guy who went through "15 hours of foreplay" with his wife.

However, it is Rubberhole who takes the price for the biggest faggot for this gem: That's a tough one. I've been going through my memory banks and can't decide on just one. Guess I've been blessed over the years of my sexual life. I hail Cyndi, Sandy, Janice, Rosette, Vickie ( my first home-made video) Christie ( loved B&D and forced oral), Alex ( who knew she was a transvestite until the moment of truth!) and all the other women. Thank you all! I have great memories to take into old age...

scorpiusdeus was also clueless "My first anal was great until a buddy told me it might have been a tranny..." He makes no effort to explain how he failed to notice the dick. Also, his other story is not faggy per se but funny nevertheless "There was the threesome where one of that gals 18 year old sister happened to walk in the room and it became a foursome... " Yeah, what 18 yo girl doesn't dream about a foursome involving her sister.

Cody McLarge enjoyed going down on a girl through her jeans.

I was in my early 20's running with a diverse group of weirdos. Somehow nor other, I ended up getting all drunked up and banging this 20ish cousin of one my friends. She was visiting with her 18ish sister. She was super needy which stroked my ego quite nicely and fed a really cruel streak. I'd only fuck her when I was really drunk and everyone else was asleep. She started telling people we were going out and when questioned I'd deny it. So one night I'm all shitfaced and we're making out. She's telling me she loves me and I'm saying "I know". I'm classy. So at some point it hits me that maybe a 3way with her sister might be a hoot. If nothing else, it would most likely make her hate me. So I start asking her how much she loves me. Oh, so very much. Enough to wake up your sister? Everything stops. Why? Maybe she'd like to have some fun too. She's not all for this crazy idea. Eventually I pressure her into it. If you love me, you would. Needless to say, her sister told her she was out of her mind. And my secret was out, because I'd been denying I was banging her. Ah, to be young again.

That post is just begging to be a run-on sentence. I’m so glad he admitted to having ADD, it made it that much more readable.

i still dont understand that alex sentence.if its a trannie wouldnt it already know its a tranny or did he mean he himself didnt know?fucking tree falling in the woods...

Shit! This thread is brilliant! Time to bump it with a link.

ADT Commenter "Tainted Love" declares, "I'm straight!"

I read half the first sentence and had to dump out. I just can't take that place.

Where is Michael Weinstein to tell them penises rubbing together without a condom is bad?

But it gets better!

And even if the dude is a troll, man, can he take it to the next level.

TheDude008 takes the bait hook, line, and sinker.

if you have to declare youre straight youre probably not.

Love that the guy has named himself after a Soft Cell cover. Dan's post in the the 'Girls rubbing two cocks together' thread is classic creepy from him.

After recent events, XPT no longer has the right to call ADT "Faggy"

It might, once again, if it gets its shit together. As of now, no. It's just a piss poor imitation of Staphdom.

Best start getting used to it. The new management sees that as the Promised Land.

Pirates don't cry Barry, not even in the movies. I don't mind that you left butthurt with JB and came back with him to spout off. I question y'alls timing, as if this past Friday was a watershed moment that the Saints would come Marching In or however you envisioned it.

I've always enjoyed your posts, same as JBs. I hope you will continue to post, same as JB. I just hope you will take a deep breath and think for a minute on why TFH might ought to be whore-friendly again. It's really not a good place or cause on which to make a stand. I can't disagree with what you said about twitter, etc but if you are going to keep any whore here you have no chance if they don't have one place to shill. It's not Draconian or a violation of the Constitution. I see no reason to just give up and let the bashing continue. That clearly hasn't worked even if the older, kindler gentler approach hasn't either.

And by the way, keep up the bitching if you feel so inclined. It's not a problem.

Of course, it's easy to say everyone who disagrees with the wrong direction you all are taking this Titanic in is crying when you're swinging the hammer. Of course, it doesn't answer any of the valid points disagreement, does it? It's just easier to say people are crying and don't understand your vision. Just call you Jimmy from That Thing You Do.

Not sure about the timing thing. I do know that I've never carried JB's water, nor him mine. So I'm not sure where you're getting that from. I'd assume the same place where you get the idea pws are going to flock here with your caring moderation.

You haven't always enjoyed my posts. That's a fucking lie, plain and simple. But at this point, you'll do anything to be right.

I don't know about timing and Friday night. I haven't been able to log on for at least a month. Today is the first time I've been able to successfully. Don't know why, not pointing fingers. Honestly I figured it was a glitch in the Matrix. But with all the threats to ban that seem to be thrown around by the caring mods, I'm not so sure. Not that it's any big deal if that's what happened. Frankly, at this point, I'd be surprised if you didn't.

That fact is, and remains, that you're in the wrong. And I'm going to keep calling you on it. And you can be sure when you fail miserably...which you will...gloriously...I'll be right there to tell you I warned out. It's sort of my thing.

Gay, creepy, sad, or all of the above?

This last thread bump brought this to my attention. I'm glad you decided to, if not bury the hatchet, to hold it behind your back for a skinny minute.

I'm glad you're back and hope you understand that you were at no point banned or infringed in your free speech right to complain about this board. You cannot, however, yell fire in a crowded theatre.

i caught this the other day.pretty disturbing.

So, this a theatre now? I seriously don't understand how that cliche' fits here, short of posting RL information about people which I have never done or will do.

I'm not sure why you're choosing to rehash this thing now. I made it clear that I accept Lou's word that I wasn't banned. But whatever. This navy belongs to you guys and we serve at your pleasure.

"I have always been a sanitary pad fetish,whan i was child i have been smelling my moms used pads and masturbates"

Made it that^^^far. Was "icky" an option?

now we have this:

"I'm on vacation in Canada and I feel it's appropriate to go on a pilgrimage to her home city and pay respect to the hottest pornstar of all time...
And who knows, there could be other chicks in her hometown who are as cute and nasty as she is."-lecouch

http://forum.adultdvdtalk.com/where-is-shyla-stylez-from

Mom and Coco are from Canada?

We must all be in it together, Barry. It's the only way it makes sense to some.




It's that "servitude" thing that's the problem. There's too many people yelling "fetch" these days.