I recently purchased an old campaign truck at an auction. It's one of those trucks with huge speakers on top that broadcast campaign promises as it drove around neighborhoods. Patently fraudulent. But I have a dream. I'm not going to broadcast promises, I'm going to broadcast gagging, the sounds of dumb whores getting throatfucked. Yes, friends, I'm taking Gag Factor to the streets of Sleepytown America. I call on Steward and his army of cretins to hurry up with their "Soothing Sounds of Gag Factor" cd, because I wanna drive around and broadcast the fucker through those bullhorn speakers on the top of my truck. I plan to add my special little twist by using a computer generated voice ala Stephen Hawking to identify the name of each whore before her gagging starts. Example: "MALLORY MARX.....'gugguggug!coughhackspit!guguguguggeh!'................AURORA SNOW..."GahGahGah*cough*Oh!Wait!GahGahGah!'...." Like that. I might also have music backing the entire thing, something tragic like Barber's 'Adagio For Strings' or Albinoni's Adagio. Can you imagine this truck driving around neighborhoods on sunny days whilst the good folks of our great nation are out cutting their grass and whatnot? It's pure Americana. Like Norman Rockwell getting throatfucked. It will be a beautiful thing.
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