Outsider, I've read a few hundred posts since registering, you've got noble enough intentions, but consider the volume of your work here printed out and handed to a responsible psychiatrist. You'd give them a DSM-IV migraine dude, visions of god-predatory behavior towards younger women-repeated antisocial and antagonistic behavior- deeply-ingrained yet conflicted fantasies about sexually performing in front of others---the list goes on and on........

It may be helpful to appear less deranged if you want to be taken seriously.....