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Male whores contain NO stroke value - Fundamental Law of Porn No. 2

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just curious, have2cit, what's fundamental law of porn no.1?

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My general knowledge says it has to be: Whores lie. (One of the basic facts I've learned here at XXXPT.)

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Rule #6
No one rents porn to see the guys, so male talent, shut the fuck up, stay as much out of the frame as you can and just fuck the whore.

Directors, no more close ups of the GUYS, no one gives a fuck about them.

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Rule #6
No one rents porn to see the guys, so male talent, shut the fuck up, stay as much out of the frame as you can and just fuck the whore.

Directors, no more close ups of the GUYS, no one gives a fuck about them.

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#1: whores lie
#2: male performers have NO stroke value (fn 1, 3)
#3: way too much man-ass in hetero porn (fn 2)
#4: double-pen in the same orifice is gay
#5: European porn stars are FAR dirtier than their American counterparts


fn 1-(from Safado) "No one rents porn to see the guys, so male talent, shut the fuck up, stay as much out of the frame as you can and just fuck the whore. Directors, no more close ups of the GUYS, no one gives a fuck about them."
fn 2-(from The King) "Girls licking man ass in porn is fucking gay. I DO NOT want to see ANY girl lick ANY man ass in my porn. Girl licking girl ass is OK, girl licking man ass is way bad."
fn3-(from Holly Randall) Actually, for me, the male talent makes all the difference. I don't care about the girl (when I'm watching porn, not when I'm shooting it), I care about the scene. And really good scenes often call for really good male performers.

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As a variation on #2, please no cutaways to a closeup on the male performer just before the money shot.

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As a variation on #2, please no cutaways to a closeup on the male performer just before the money shot. Way to ruin the moment!!

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Rule #6
No one rents porn to see the guys, so male talent, shut the fuck up, stay as much out of the frame as you can and just fuck the whore.

Directors, no more close ups of the GUYS, no one gives a fuck about them.

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Actually, for me, the male talent makes all the difference. I don't care about the girl (when I'm watching porn, not when I'm shooting it), I care about the scene. And really good scenes often call for really good male performers.

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Double vag, double anal and double oral is GAY.

Anytime two guys rub their cocks together, whether a woman is involved or not, it's GAY as fuck!

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You're an IDIOT!! It's perverse, it's hot and it's edgy, and quite obviously it sells like hell.

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Double vag, double anal and double oral is GAY.

Anytime two guys rub their cocks together, whether a woman is involved or not, it's GAY as fuck!

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You're an IDIOT!! It's perverse, it's hot and it's edgy, and quite obviously it sells like hell.

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Double vag, double anal and double oral is GAY.

Anytime two guys rub their cocks together, whether a woman is involved or not, it's GAY as fuck!

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You're an IDIOT!! It's perverse, it's hot and it's edgy, and quite obviously it sells like hell.

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Double vag, double anal and double oral is GAY.

Anytime two guys rub their cocks together, whether a woman is involved or not, it's GAY as fuck!

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You're an IDIOT!! It's perverse, it's hot and it's edgy, and quite obviously it sells like hell.

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To homos in denial.

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as a girl, i think it's gay as fuck also , and i'm certainly no "homophobic" guy. why these directors think that the "average" hetero porn viewer, male or female, wants to see sacs smacking together is beyond me. i've always been of the opinion that while the thought of two actual peni penetrating a girl seems cool as fuck , any guy who is willing to have his cock rubbing another cock is frankly not welcome in my pussy, ass, and/or mouth. you can use multiple toys to achieve the same effects (i.e., domination, inflicting pain, etc-- all good things ), without coming off as . i would venture so far as to say that one naked man should not come within two feet of another naked man, even if they're fucking the same chick. i call this "the 24 inches rule". tag team her, people! if it's good enough for the WWE, it's good enough for us, you know? of course, fucking a girl from behind (ass or pussy, name your poison) while she's sucking a cock in front her does not violate the 24 inches rule and thus should be done whenever humanly possible . if a porn guy needs more "assistance" in achieving the utmost violation of said whore, he should bring in another whore to help. this could be called the "girlvert rule", since most guys can't fuck a girl any harder than ashley blue does anyway. p.s. sorry this was a wicked long post.

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closeted faggots rent too much straight porn. rub your dick against an electric eel, you abomination.



If you're THAT afraid of your own manhood, you should spend your time reading Playboy or Newsweek and watching The Food Network. It amazes me how people in the "adult" industry are close minded little old prudes when you scrape away all the B.S.!

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your dad just called, he wanted to thank you for coming for thanksgiving and rubbing your cock against his.

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You've worked the hate up this week, Jamesn. You're a veritable Peter North of rage when you get warmed up. Oh, the pun was intended for other parties, natch.

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if you're that open minded, why not read playgirl and rent falcon? like, easy-e, you can eat a big fat dick. wait, you already have.

how's life as an hiv-positive gay man? are you going to any parades this spring and will you be wearing those scrumptious leather chaps and growing your freddy mercury-mustache again? you were hot last year, fucking queer.

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heh heh - he said "scrumptious".

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if you're that open minded, why not read playgirl and rent falcon? like, easy-e, you can eat a big fat dick. wait, you already have.

how's life as an hiv-positive gay man? are you going to any parades this spring and will you be wearing those scrumptious leather chaps and growing your freddy mercury-mustache again? you were hot last year, fucking queer.

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But cocks rubbing against one another? "I think you've come to the wrong bar, sir"

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haha! and at the xpt bar, the patrons will tell you, "no, sir. you may not push my stool in."

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At what point do you become a prude for not liking balls slapping together?

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[quote#9: if she doesn’t do anal, and she’s not Christy Canyon, she’s not a legitimate porn star

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i just don't get chicks who don't do anal. i couldn't tell you the last time i had sex and it didn't end up in my ass. then again, i'm a whore. but ass is the new pussy. plus, like skeeter says, "there's nothing like an anal romance!". and has arland kerkove ever told a lie?

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Never mind the rules.

Thanks for the pic. I'm going to have some "quiet time".

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#1: whores lie
#2: male performers have NO stroke value
#3: way too much man-ass in hetero porn
#4: double-pen in the same orifice is gay
#5: European porn stars are FAR dirtier than their American counterparts
#6: when a dude is getting it up the ass, no matter if it's from a woman, tranny or another dude, it's gay
#7: if you have a small dick and fuck like a chick with a strap on you shouldn't be a stunt cock
#8: interracial gangbangs demonstrate how far we’ve come as a country regarding race

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#9: Piss ain't sex(y)

-Chuck, Vegetarian fanboy

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it was supposed to be sexy? i confused.

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Gunker, I must say, this thread has turned out much better than I expected. Nice work.

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Thanks King!

I've been saving up a special picture for you...

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#1: whores lie
#2: male performers have NO stroke value
#3: way too much man-ass in hetero porn
#4: double-pen in the same orifice is gay
#5: Generally, European porn stars are much dirtier than their American counterparts
#6: when a dude is getting it up the ass, no matter if it's from a woman, tranny or another dude, it's gay
#7: if you have a small dick and fuck like a chick with a strap on you shouldn't be a stunt cock
#8: interracial gangbangs demonstrate how far we’ve come as a country regarding race
#9: if she doesn’t do anal, and she’s not Christy Canyon, she’s not a legitimate porn star
#10: piss, vomit and/or scat ain't sex(y)
#11: too many tattoos and piercings and it becomes an unpleasant freak show
#12: if you must show cunnilingus, make sure the guy doesn’t have a moustache (see Ron Jeremey and Christy Canyon; looks like the Tribbles Star Trek episode)

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#1: whores lie
#2: male performers have NO stroke value
#3: way too much man-ass in hetero porn
#4: double-pen in the same orifice is gay
#5: Generally, European porn stars are much dirtier than their American counterparts
#6: when a dude is getting it up the ass, no matter if it's from a woman, tranny or another dude, it's gay
#7: if you have a small dick and fuck like a chick with a strap on you shouldn't be a stunt cock
#8: interracial gangbangs demonstrate how far we’ve come as a country regarding race
#9: if she doesn’t do anal, and she’s not Christy Canyon, she’s not a legitimate porn star
#10: piss, vomit and/or scat ain't sex(y)
#11: too many tattoos and piercings and it becomes an unpleasant freak show
#12: if you must show cunnilingus, make sure the guy doesn’t have a moustache (see Ron Jeremey and Christy Canyon; looks like the Tribbles Star Trek episode)

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#13. Male talent shall keep his mouth shut. We dont want to hear you grunt and graon before you cum.

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To elaborate: Don't jump to the guy's face during the money shot.

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if you're that open minded, why not read playgirl and rent falcon? like, easy-e, you can eat a big fat dick. wait, you already have.

how's life as an hiv-positive gay man? are you going to any parades this spring and will you be wearing those scrumptious leather chaps and growing your freddy mercury-mustache again? you were hot last year, fucking queer.

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Since I am none of the above, it doesn't apply. Let's see, you'd be all down watching 2 girls go at it, but you're so afriad of your own manhood that it makes you sick to see two cocks rubbing together inside a woman. You're boring, you're a prude, and you're angry because you've been figured out. God I'm having a good time watching your BP rise!

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#1: whores lie
#2: male performers have NO stroke value
#3: way too much man-ass in hetero porn
#4: double-pen in the same orifice is gay
#5: Generally, European porn stars are much dirtier than their American counterparts
#6: when a dude is getting it up the ass, no matter if it's from a woman, tranny or another dude, it's gay
#7: if you have a small dick and fuck like a chick with a strap on you shouldn't be a stunt cock
#8: interracial gangbangs demonstrate how far we’ve come as a country regarding race
#9: if she doesn’t do anal, and she’s not Christy Canyon, she’s not a legitimate porn star
#10: piss, vomit and/or scat ain't sex(y)
#11: too many tattoos and piercings and it becomes an unpleasant freak show
#12: if you must show cunnilingus, make sure the guy doesn’t have a moustache (see Ron Jeremey and Christy Canyon; looks like the Tribbles Star Trek episode)

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#13. Male talent shall keep his mouth shut. We dont want to hear you grunt and graon before you cum.

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To elaborate: Don't jump to the guy's face during the money shot.

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#14. A threeway scene with two girls and one guy where one girl has to sit and play with herself while the other two fuck is a waste of pussy. Producers: stop being cheap and hire another cock.

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That's fair. I just want to see that unemployed pussy put to good use.

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Occupation Radio DJ
Hobbies Swinging..Helping My wife get into porn
Location Pennsylvania

hi wankus, how's that radio gig? think the majority of your fans would like to rub their penises together?

i heard your uncle actually had you believing men weren't supposed to shake hands when meeting one another, rather it was traditional to rub penises and make out.

you must have had some weird christmases as a boy.

as for your wife-if you've been TRYING to get her into porn, she must be hideous. pam peaks is IN porn and your wife can't break in. that says something.

i bet you frequent swing clubs as the fat guy with burn-scars or weird polyps on his face and parade your mediocre whore wife around until you find a man desperate to rub penises with you inside her vagina. don't you feel guilty about using your own wife as a lure for opportunities to rub your dick against another man's dick.

you're a vile loser, i hope you don't have children and you eventually have the honesty to leave your wife for a man named rashaan.

fag. fag. fag. qed. fag.

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if you're that open minded, why not read playgirl and rent falcon? like, easy-e, you can eat a big fat dick. wait, you already have.

how's life as an hiv-positive gay man? are you going to any parades this spring and will you be wearing those scrumptious leather chaps and growing your freddy mercury-mustache again? you were hot last year, fucking queer.

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Since I am none of the above, it doesn't apply. Let's see, you'd be all down watching 2 girls go at it, but you're so afriad of your own manhood that it makes you sick to see two cocks rubbing together inside a woman. You're boring, you're a prude, and you're angry because you've been figured out. God I'm having a good time watching your BP rise!

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Given the fact that you're not even a fucking american..why don't you go back to your totally washed up country, and be the little-dicked waste that you really are! I'm not afraid of my manhood. Of course americans aren't. If it weren't for us bailing your worthless asses out of two world wars you'd be proficient in german. As far as my wife goes, you couldn't even come close to something that hot. Now go run along little waste pile.

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Occupation Radio DJ
Hobbies Swinging..Helping My wife get into porn
Location Pennsylvania

hi wankus, how's that radio gig? think the majority of your fans would like to rub their penises together?

i heard your uncle actually had you believing men weren't supposed to shake hands when meeting one another, rather it was traditional to rub penises and make out.

you must have had some weird christmases as a boy.

as for your wife-if you've been TRYING to get her into porn, she must be hideous. pam peaks is IN porn and your wife can't break in. that says something.

i bet you frequent swing clubs as the fat guy with burn-scars or weird polyps on his face and parade your mediocre whore wife around until you find a man desperate to rub penises with you inside her vagina. don't you feel guilty about using your own wife as a lure for opportunities to rub your dick against another man's dick.

you're a vile loser, i hope you don't have children and you eventually have the honesty to leave your wife for a man named rashaan.

fag. fag. fag. qed. fag.

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if you're that open minded, why not read playgirl and rent falcon? like, easy-e, you can eat a big fat dick. wait, you already have.

how's life as an hiv-positive gay man? are you going to any parades this spring and will you be wearing those scrumptious leather chaps and growing your freddy mercury-mustache again? you were hot last year, fucking queer.

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Since I am none of the above, it doesn't apply. Let's see, you'd be all down watching 2 girls go at it, but you're so afriad of your own manhood that it makes you sick to see two cocks rubbing together inside a woman. You're boring, you're a prude, and you're angry because you've been figured out. God I'm having a good time watching your BP rise!

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Given the fact that you're not even a fucking american..why don't you go back to your totally washed up country, and be the little-dicked waste that you really are! I'm not afraid of my manhood. Of course americans aren't. If it weren't for us bailing your worthless asses out of two world wars you'd be proficient in german. As far as my wife goes, you couldn't even come close to something that hot. Now go run along little waste pile.

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I think there should be a move to make this a "porn law":

If it's on the box, It shall be in the movie.

Been had a couple of times on that old trick. Inexpensive tape with nice, stroke-worthy pictures on the front, only to be disappointed by a tape filled with lackluster, dimly-lit, ugly skank-whores as participants scenes!

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#16. Genuine sounds of balls slapping against girl's ass or cock slamming into wet cunt shall not be interrupted by talents' over dramatic moaning or porn banter.

#17. The bts interviewer shall not ask how the girl got into porn if she's been doing porn longer than 6 months.

#18. If it's a comp, let the box cover say it's a comp. Don't dress it up as all new scenes.

#19. If the movie is shot in HD, cast girls with good complexions.

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#21. If it takes the male talent more than 30 seconds to cum when he's whacking off into an open mouth/pussy/ass yell fucking CUT! There's nothing worse than watching some cro-mag banging his balls for 5 minutes or more just to see him cough his gloop when you could've been downstairs watching the game instead.

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i disagree. it's perversely entertaining to watch this. the guy furiously beating it, vainly trying to get something to happen. and then when he acts like, here it comes, but still nothing. and the chick is just sitting there, cycling through her "i'm so hot and nasty" faces. it's probably a good opportunity for her to imagine what else she could be doing now. good stuff. but that's just what i think. i don't watch the games, anyway.

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#20. In porn, there is no such thing as good plastic surgery.

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I think they can do wonders with boobs (sometimes) and noses, but beyond that it just doesn't work (chins, lips, butts, lipo).

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I should amend it to:

"In porn, for every one great boob job, there are 76 shit ones around the corner."

I think I've seen fewer than 10 boob jobs that I'd describe as truly good. And by that, I mean boob jokes where you have to ask if they've been done or not.

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#21. If it takes the male talent more than 30 seconds to cum when he's whacking off into an open mouth/pussy/ass yell fucking CUT! There's nothing worse than watching some cro-mag banging his balls for 5 minutes or more just to see him cough his gloop when you could've been downstairs watching the game instead.

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i disagree. it's perversely entertaining to watch this. the guy furiously beating it, vainly trying to get something to happen. and then when he acts like, here it comes, but still nothing. and the chick is just sitting there, cycling through her "i'm so hot and nasty" faces. it's probably a good opportunity for her to imagine what else she could be doing now. good stuff. but that's just what i think. i don't watch the games, anyway.

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i think it's hilarious when the girl is waiting for the next pop and she's still trying to talk dirty to guy number two("quah quah quah!").

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Oh. Is that what it is? I thought those chicks were just 20 per cent 'tard.

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NO FAKE GAG (GUNK, GUNK, GUNK) SOUNDS!!!! Only real ones.

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There are very few real ones.

And since 90% of people can't tell the difference/dont care just ditch the idea anyway. It's old like King Tut already.

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WHY ARE YOU IGNORING HER PAIN?


take my soul!

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I think they can do wonders with boobs (sometimes) and noses, but beyond that it just doesn't work (chins, lips, butts, lipo).

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I should amend it to:

"In porn, for every one great boob job, there are 76 shit ones around the corner."

I think I've seen fewer than 10 boob jobs that I'd describe as truly good. And by that, I mean boob jokes where you have to ask if they've been done or not.

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The ammended version is dead-on, Conky. There are good ones, but few and far between.

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Here's my increasingly addled attempt to compile what we've decided so far:

#1: whores lie
#2: male performers have NO stroke value
#3: way too much man-ass in hetero porn (please minimize the use of the dreaded "ball-cam" angle. Any amount of time that 70% of the screen is occupied by the dude's ass and nut sack is too much)
#4: double-pen in the same orifice is gay
#5: Generally, European porn stars are much dirtier than their American counterparts
#6: when a dude is getting it up the ass, no matter if it's from a woman, tranny or another dude, it's gay
#7: if you have a small dick and fuck like a chick with a strap on you shouldn't be a stunt cock
#8: interracial gangbangs demonstrate how far we’ve come as a country regarding race
#9: if she doesn’t do anal, and she’s not Christy Canyon, she’s not a legitimate porn star
#10: piss, vomit and/or scat ain't sex(y)
#11: too many tattoos and piercings and it becomes an unpleasant freak show
#12: if you must show cunnilingus, make sure the guy doesn’t have a moustache (see Ron Jeremey and Christy Canyon; looks like the Tribbles Star Trek episode)
#13: the male talent shall keep grunting and moaning to a minimum
#14: don't jump to the guy's face during the money shot
#15: there shall be no unattended pussy in a FFM threesome scene at any time
#16: close up shots have their place, but it's not two thirds of the movie; pull back, establish and let us get on with the important business of jerking off to the whole girl, not just the meat piston
#17: genuine sounds of balls slapping against girl's ass or cock slamming into wet cunt shall not be interrupted by talents' over dramatic moaning or porn banter
#18: The bts interviewer shall not ask how the girl got into porn if she's been doing porn longer than 6 months
#19: if it's a comp, let the box cover say it's a comp; don't dress it up as all new scenes
#20: if the movie is shot in HD, cast must have good complexions (and definitely, no ass zits)
#21: if it's on the box, it shall be in the movie
#22: if an act is described as “her first time”, it shall not be common knowledge that it is far from her first time
#23: unless your name is Andrew Blake, let us hear the actual noises instead of the music, no matter how much you paid your cousin to create it with Pro Tools
#24: squirt is pee (see #10)
#25: every whore has a price
#26: the more cum that lands above her mouth, and the more surprised/upset she is about it, the better; if she actually starts to whimper, it's rewind time
#27: in porn, for every one great boob job, there are 76 shit ones around the corner
#28: someone else’s baby jam on/in a girl is off limits; stick your dick elsewhere or towel her off/make her swallow before proceeding

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#26: the more cum that lands above her mouth, and the more surprised/upset she is about it, the better; if she actually starts to whimper, it's rewind time

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OMG I can't stop laughing at this one!!!!

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#26: the more cum that lands above her mouth, and the more surprised/upset she is about it, the better; if she actually starts to whimper, it's rewind time

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OMG I can't stop laughing at this one!!!!

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#29: "If you have a catch-phrase, you're a douche." - Bornyo

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#30 - Girls turn 18 every day

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#30 - Girls turn 18 every day

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in some girls, this may happen more than once. (see "lori lust".)

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That's great!!

I have always been curious about the time warp or magical elixir that permits some girls to remain 18 and 19 for several years ....

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What about this one?

#31: Retired whore makes a comeback = rent is due

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Law #31 reminded me of Ashley Blue's view of porn retirement as she reported to avninsider.com some time ago :

Girlvert Guides You Into The Galaxy

Announcing Porn Retirement Doesn't Make You Cool

There are a lot of bad career moves that, thankfully, porno is exempt from. We can get away with fucking our bosses, giving our co-workers the clap and even getting raided by the FBI. Sexual harassment in the workplace is downright mandatory in our profession, rather than an act of unprofessionalism. It is impossible to get fired from being a porn star. That is why I am here.

I have been fired from every job that I have ever had, except for porn. Flaking out for shoots, fighting with talent, forgetting my I.D., being too high on ecstasy or having a bitch attitude has never ruined my career in porno. In any other place of employment I would be fired for sure. It has taken a couple of years for me to fully appreciate this and shape up my behavior a little bit. I no longer need a designated driver at my shoots, because that is now my job as the director.

The only thing that we can all agree gets an automatic eye-rolling is when we hear the news that a performer has announced his/her/he-she's retirement. I just say ughh, whatever. That's stupid.

I don't mean the cases of occasional life-threatening disease, fatal accident or life sentence in prison. They are all not what really classify as the retirement that whores voluntarily do for attention.

If you have any true intention of moving on, silly whore, then it would be unnecessary to seek attention from those in this industry. That would be just as retarded and desperate as making all of your MySpace blogs about an ex-boyfriend, while telling people you are over him. Or having a big drug bender to celebrate that you are entering a (court-ordered) rehab.

Also, it is inevitable that you will make your "huge" comeback. All of the chicks that I know of who have thrown in the cum rag have picked it up again for at least a few more loads. Who knows? I may be as old as Dave Hardman's mom one day and really need to make some cash. Or perhaps my family will need to pay for my funeral by selling my corpse to a necrophilia production company.

The bottom line is that no one fucking cares in porn when you retire. Why should the public give a black dick for a whore when she aborts what we love about her most?


— Ashley Blue

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The bottom line is that no one fucking cares in porn when you retire. Why should the public give a black dick for a whore when she aborts what we love about her most?


— Ashley Blue

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She'll be back after she gets out of rehab and rent is due.

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How prophetic...

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What about this one?

#31: Retired whore makes a comeback = rent is due

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37: Braces and porn do not mix. It's just too freaky.

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I strongly OBJECT to this proposed rule and hereto submit the attached evidence:

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40.) Not everything is meant or intended to be sexy, so stop trying to make the 18yr olds look like 40yr old street hookers. (Meatholes was fucking hot but not necessarily sexy.)

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40.) Not everything is meant or intended to be sexy, so stop trying to make the 18yr olds look like 40yr old street hookers. (Meatholes was fucking hot but not necessarily sexy.)

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I have a bigger problem with the reverse - putting a tartan skirt on DeBella doesn't make her a teen!

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...

My main problem with Meatholes is: Not All Body Fluids are Sexy. The human body can emit sweat, spit, piss, shit, cum, snot, vomit, and blood. And I really don't need to see most of that. What's next, earwax money shots?

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Bumping because I just remembered another one: Keep the shoes on! Real Porn Stars Fuck In Their High Heels.

It makes their legs look better, and it just gives a wonderfully trashy edge to the whole scene to see the bitch nude except for a set of 5" stripper heels. Bonus points if there is wear and tear on them which makes it obvious she wears them on stage.

Not a foot/shoe fetish thing at all, more a leg thing and a preference for the talent to look as whorish as possible. (although the Girl-Next-Door trying to wear heels that she can't walk in is also hot.)

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It's a crime against pornography to let a whore kick off her heels mid scene. Another common misconception is mistaking a shoe fetish for a foot fetish. Fuck that, porn seems to cater more to foot fetishists.
Hooker heels and fuck me boots add an intoxifying decedance to the overall aesthetic.
Anybody can just strip and fuck, but it takes dedication to dress for sex and if the whores would rather spend their money on speed keep a wardrobe on set, budget Fredericks' of Hollywood into your production.

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#26: the more cum that lands above her mouth, and the more surprised/upset she is about it, the better; if she actually starts to whimper, it's rewind time

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The more ridiculously out of place a whore looks in hot pants and clear heels, the better.

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#50. Dairy products at room temperature aren't sexy.

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How about this one -

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