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Would 12/13 be considered the first day of Christmas? Maybe we can come up with a jingle, something like "On the first day of Gokkun, this whore came up to me..."
...FIIIVVEE convict blasts!! 
damn, that's better than the opening line in my remake of "twas the night before xmas": "...armed with some lube and some cephalosporin, santa jumped in the sled and began to go whorin'..." 
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"I'm going to spend the rest of the weekend deep frying the fuck out of anything that gets in my way."
--Handful