Why? I would say that it is probably due to the fact that I am a sadistic evil bastard who cannot achieve anything but a half hearted erection without the presence of violence and/or sexual physical domination of the male over the female object. Yes, my level of self-efficacy has achieved critical mass, and soon something has to give.

But don't take that as an official diagnosis just yet as I do not yquite have the all of my credit hours completed on my Ph.D.

You may want to look up the opinions of others who are more qualified, such as Fromm and his theories of Existential Dichotemies 1-3 and his syndrome of decay. I can see such qualities in myself the few times I am able to enjoy an honest moment, but you see my brain deteriorating from the syphilis that I am too embarrassed to see my doctor about.

I would also recommend reading up on the work of Adler, Eysnick, and Jung, but stay away from Freud; His Psychoanalytic Theory is a grossly oversimplified interpretation of Personality Theory, and professionally negligent and in violation of his hippocratic oath. The next thing you know he will start to say things like water's wet and the sky is blue.