Another ammusing letter from Kurt (lifecrisis) Lockwood

No worries here Kurt, your just having a midlife crisis. Putting all your energy into writing how much you hate everything and that your not gay or whatever makes me think, why?
DEAR CRYSTAL METH SISTERS
I LOVE YOU, TOO!

#1. DON'T WORRY, WE HAVEN'T RUN INTO EACH OTHER SO FAR (THANK GOD!) AND I DON'T DO COKE OR METH (POT ONLY HERE) SO I WON'T BE FOUND IN YOUR LOSERS' CIRCLE OF TWEEKERS AND COKE HEADS. SNORT! BUT ENJOY BEING A PAIR OF WALKING PORN CLICHES HELL-BENT ON SELF-DESTRUCTION.

#2. TELL CONKY AND GONZO GIRL I LOVE THEM SOOO MUCH, TOO. I WANT TO THANK BOTH OF THEM FOR SHOWING ME SUCH DEVOTION LIKE THE ULTIMATE FANS OF MINE THEY SECRETLY REALLY ARE! TO KNOW EVERY SINGLE ASPECT OF MY LIFE? TRUE DEDICATION THAT PROVES, TRUE FANS TO THE BONE! KUDOS, HAHA. I'M GONNA THINK ABOUT THEM WHILE I FUCK SIX HOT GIRLS OVER THE NEXT THREE DAYS AND MAKE THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS, HAHA. (I'M DIRECTING MY NEW SERIES FOR SEX Z PICTURES, TEEN COCK ROCKERS #2.)

#3. YEAH, I'M SUCH A "FAG" THAT I HAVE FUCKED OVER NEARLY ELEVEN HUNDRED WOMEN. YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS RETARDED, BROKE ASS FUCKIN HATERS WHO WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO HAVE FUCKED THAT MANY WOMEN OR TO HAVE FANS ALL OVER THE WORLD. YOU NOODLE DIX COULDN'T GET LAID IN A MORGUE. PLUS AS IF REGISTERING ON XPT MAKES ME "REAL..." THAT"S SO FUCKING STUPID. THIS SAID BY HATERS WHO HIDE BEHIND ANONYMITY, HYPOCRISY ANYONE? FUCKING IDIOTS, I MEAN, REALLY JUST DUMB, DUMB FUCKWADS YOU HATERS ARE. YOU MAKE ME LAUGH.)

#4 ALSO, I UNDERSTOOD YOUR POST JUST FINE, CRYSTAL AVA, I JUST THOUGHT IT WAS A CHEAP SHOT FROM A PORN NEWBIE WHOM I'VE NEVER WRONGED PERSONALLY OR EVEN MET EVER FOR THAT MATTER, SO I THOUGHT I'D JUST RETURN YOU THE LOVE... SO RIGHT BACK AT YA, SWEETHEART! BUT I'LL JUST THROW YOU AND YOUR FELLOW CLICHE TWEEKER SISTER ON THE "WE HATE KURT LOCKWOOD" PILE OF OBSESSED LOSERS. I'M JUST GLAD I NEVER MADE THE MISTAKE OF HIRING YOU TWO TWEEKERS BUT I'LL MAKE SURE I SPREAD THE WORD.

#5 HEY XPT HATERS, KEEP UP THE FREE PRESS!! WHATEVER YOU ALL ARE DOING, GIVEN MY NEW FEATURE DIRECTING GIGS, MY SCHEDULE OF ABOUT 8 SCENES A WEEK, AND MY 8 AVN NOMINATIONS, WHATEVER Y'ALL ARE DOING? IT'S WORKING! THIS HAS BEEN MY BE$T YEAR YET! PLUS, I'M LOVING KICKING YOUR SNAKE BASKET ASSES AND WATCHING HOW PISSED OFF YOU WORTHLESS HATERS ARE GETTING, HAHA. YOU ARE ALL SO EASY, HAHA. HSSSSS! I PLAY YOU ALL LIKE I PLAY MY GUITAR, EFFORTLESSLY, HAHA. SO HATE ME, BITCHES! HATE, ME! I LOVE IT! I'M STILL GONNA BE HERE HAVING ULTRA HOT SEX WITH REALLY HOT CHICKS AND MAKING MAJOR FUCKIN MONEY FOR YEARS, AND NONE OF YOU HATERS CAN EVER DO A FUCKING THING ABOUT IT. NOT. ONE. FUCKING. THING. SO SUCK MY AVN AWARD WINNING COCK, BITCHES! PUNK ROCK, MOTHERFUCKERS! MORE MORE MORE! HOW DO YOU LIKE IT? HOW DO YOU LIKE IT? BWAHAHAHAHA!
BEST,
KURT FUCKIN' LOCKWOOD
(AVN male performer of the year nominee now for FOUR STRAIGHT YEARS. HATE ON THAT, HAHA!)