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#201448 - 11/13/06 09:17 PM
Im a full blown XPT Addict and I need help
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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I need divine intervention, my family and close friends have no idea that im this perverse, im ashamed of myself. No normal person should be able to identify this person.  But I can, its lori lust, LORI LUST, LORI FUCKING LUST. I try to fool myself into not being able to name her but I can't. I know who she is, what she does and what shes about, and its all because of my porn forum addiction. Ever since I retired after making my mark with my sun dried tomato empire all that ive had a passion for was in the floral industry after adaptation inspired me so, but even that wavers in comparison to my deep seeded perverted needs, I need a serious case of jail faith to help me overcome it, tammy faye baker, bobby brown, anyone?. Im going to tell a small truth to you all, I know most won't believe me but its true. A month ago i attended an AA meeting and when it got to me I was honest about not having a drinking problem but more a porn forum problem and I have to say that alcoholics are very judgmental people, I thought they would be accepting and helpful, instead they looked down on me and asked me to leave. I feel this is a problem shared by many but we don't have our own group. Im just spilling my feelings out , i want to Pioneer this group like shelly lubben, i want to be the monkey lubben of changing porn forum addicts lives.
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“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#201450 - 11/14/06 03:23 AM
Re: Im a full blown XPT Addict and I need help
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/07/05
Posts: 14160
Loc: NYC
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I knew I needed help when I knew the difference between ATOGM and AGSOI.
_________________________
"What I do know is that if Karen Carpenter and Mama Cass Elliot had shared that sandwich they'd both be alive today." -Michael K
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#201452 - 11/14/06 07:02 AM
Re: Im a full blown XPT Addict and I need help
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Porn Fucking Master
Registered: 10/30/06
Posts: 3812
Loc: Neither here, nor there.
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Quote:
I need divine intervention, my family and close friends have no idea that im this perverse, im ashamed of myself. No normal person should be able to identify this person.
But I can, its lori lust, LORI LUST, LORI FUCKING LUST. I try to fool myself into not being able to name her but I can't. I know who she is, what she does and what shes about, and its all because of my porn forum addiction. Ever since I retired after making my mark with my sun dried tomato empire all that ive had a passion for was in the floral industry after adaptation inspired me so, but even that wavers in comparison to my deep seeded perverted needs, I need a serious case of jail faith to help me overcome it, tammy faye baker, bobby brown, anyone?. Im going to tell a small truth to you all, I know most won't believe me but its true. A month ago i attended an AA meeting and when it got to me I was honest about not having a drinking problem but more a porn forum problem and I have to say that alcoholics are very judgmental people, I thought they would be accepting and helpful, instead they looked down on me and asked me to leave. I feel this is a problem shared by many but we don't have our own group. Im just spilling my feelings out , i want to Pioneer this group like shelly lubben, i want to be the monkey lubben of changing porn forum addicts lives.
When the alkies told you to leave, you should've asked if anyone wanted to stop for a drink afterwards.
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"You know this is XXXPornTalk.com right? You sound like an ADT person. I want to poop on you." -Malice
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#201455 - 11/14/06 12:54 PM
Re: Im a full blown XPT Addict and I need help
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Demon Spawn
Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 3178
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Addiction is a wonderful thing.
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#201459 - 11/14/06 02:00 PM
Re: Im a full blown XPT Addict and I need help
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Porn Fucking Master
Registered: 05/18/06
Posts: 3555
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Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
I knew I needed help when I knew the difference between ATOGM and AGSOI.
i personally knew i had a problem when i rearranged my local smut store and their profits increased by almost 20% in one month alone. whenever i'm in there i end up helping all the pervs pick which movies to go jerk off to in the back. it's cool, though. the store gives me a discount now. "hi. my name is daniela, and i am a porn addict." 
My problem dawned on me when I was watching the Trey Parker movie "Orgazmo" with some buddies, and there was a scene with the main character receiving some AVN-type award. The presenter was Max Hardcore, and I blurted out "I can't believe they put him in this movie." My buddies looked at me confused and asked what I was talking about. I said "Uh, nevermind, I thought it was someone else." Recognizing Ron Jeremy in a non-porn movie, that's one thing. Recognizing Max Hardcore in a non-porn movie, then having to explain who he is, that's a completely different story.
at this point, you're supposed to say, "hi, i'm moronboy!?!, and i'm an xpt addict". and then we (oops, i forgot i am not supposed to include myself in the "we"), i mean EVERYONE says, "hi, moronboy!?!.  "
_________________________
"I'm going to spend the rest of the weekend deep frying the fuck out of anything that gets in my way."
--Handful
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#201460 - 11/14/06 02:18 PM
Re: Im a full blown XPT Addict and I need help
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 11/04/06
Posts: 4203
Loc: Bakersfield Plumbing Supplies ...
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Huh. You want to try working in it and explaining it to people at social gatherings. Such as when your new neighbors invite you and yours round for a meal...
Them: "So, what is it that you actually do for a living?"
Me: "I uh, I'm sort of between jobs right now."
Them: "How do you put food on the table?"
Me: "Organized crime. Mainly hookers and off track betting, though. Nothing too bad."
Trust me. It's an easier answer.
Also, explaining the nuances of porn to non-consumers... anyone ever felt like they were the subject of an alien autopsy before?! "Dude, you're an idiot, that's a creampie! Fuck man, don't you know anything? Hey, why are you looking at me like that?"
_________________________
I also am subcribe to postal pornography - CAOH
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#201461 - 11/14/06 02:25 PM
Re: Im a full blown XPT Addict and I need help
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Porn Fucking Master
Registered: 05/18/06
Posts: 3555
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Quote:
Huh. You want to try working in it and explaining it to people at social gatherings. Such as when your new neighbors invite you and yours round for a meal...
Them: "So, what is it that you actually do for a living?"
Me: "I uh, I'm sort of between jobs right now."
Them: "How do you put food on the table?"
Me: "Organized crime. Mainly hookers and off track betting, though. Nothing too bad."
Trust me. It's an easier answer.
Also, explaining the nuances of porn to non-consumers... anyone ever felt like they were the subject of an alien autopsy before?! "Dude, you're an idiot, that's a creampie! Fuck man, don't you know anything? Hey, why are you looking at me like that?"
i'm so retarded. i always chuckle when i see a sign that says, "atm available". but then again, this is coming from a girl who wore a tshirt that said "it ain't gonna lick itself" with black hotpants and stripper boots through the venetian hotel. 
_________________________
"I'm going to spend the rest of the weekend deep frying the fuck out of anything that gets in my way."
--Handful
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#201463 - 11/14/06 02:35 PM
Re: Im a full blown XPT Addict and I need help
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 11/04/06
Posts: 4203
Loc: Bakersfield Plumbing Supplies ...
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GG, I may have seen you wearing that while I lounged around The Grand Lux Cafe, admiring the pretties and enraged CES visitors who couldn't get in with their passes. Oh, I hate those guys the mostest!  Damned suits.
_________________________
I also am subcribe to postal pornography - CAOH
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#201465 - 11/14/06 03:01 PM
Re: Im a full blown XPT Addict and I need help
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 11/04/06
Posts: 4203
Loc: Bakersfield Plumbing Supplies ...
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Outstanding. I bet he never noticed until he got back to his room at the Best Western McCarron.
(Sorry, don't want to hijack the thread.)
(Clears throat) I am an addict. But it's my job. That means I'm like an Afghan farmer who smokes a leetle bit of opium...
_________________________
I also am subcribe to postal pornography - CAOH
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#201466 - 11/14/06 03:24 PM
Re: Im a full blown XPT Addict and I need help
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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Conky, does the phrase "firewalls diary" mean anything to you?
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#201467 - 11/14/06 05:34 PM
Re: Im a full blown XPT Addict and I need help
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Chronic Masturbator
Registered: 05/06/05
Posts: 1946
Loc: Outer Space
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LOL you want to hear something sick? I can actually tell who a guy is by his penis ALONE. I had a friend who was reviewing a flick for Cheri, and he had to pair which girl was with which guy in each scene. Even though there was a cast of performers, it didn't specify which guy was with who, and the guys' faces were never in the frame. So he would show me a scene, give me a list of the guys that were in the movie, and I would tell him which guy it was by simply looking at their penis. I was right EVERY TIME. Scary.
_________________________
I really try to retain a respectful distance from my models, even when I'm lubing up their pussies.
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#201469 - 11/14/06 08:46 PM
Re: Im a full blown XPT Addict and I need help
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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Quote:
Smelly Monkey suffering the after-effects of his addiction which has prevented him from holding a steady job since March 2002 (photos courtesy of Club Da Burglar Security)
Other fellow XPT addicts, next booth over (not pictured, Kyoto): 
They your room mates at your government funded special care home on one of your many day excursions da burg?. How do the quan crips respond to you kickin it with those fools?.
Quote:
My problem dawned on me when I was watching the Trey Parker movie "Orgazmo" with some buddies, and there was a scene with the main character receiving some AVN-type award. The presenter was Max Hardcore, and I blurted out "I can't believe they put him in this movie." My buddies looked at me confused and asked what I was talking about. I said "Uh, nevermind, I thought it was someone else." Recognizing Ron Jeremy in a non-porn movie, that's one thing. Recognizing Max Hardcore in a non-porn movie, then having to explain who he is, that's a completely different story.
no shit, max was in that movie?. I saw that a long time ago and I still remember chasey looking amazing in it even if she did have the acting range of a potato.
Quote:
Conky, does the phrase "firewalls diary" mean anything to you?
Quote:
LOL you want to hear something sick? I can actually tell who a guy is by his penis ALONE. I had a friend who was reviewing a flick for Cheri, and he had to pair which girl was with which guy in each scene. Even though there was a cast of performers, it didn't specify which guy was with who, and the guys' faces were never in the frame. So he would show me a scene, give me a list of the guys that were in the movie, and I would tell him which guy it was by simply looking at their penis. I was right EVERY TIME. Scary.
Ok Holly, who's penis is this?.
_________________________
“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#201471 - 11/14/06 11:21 PM
Re: Im a full blown XPT Addict and I need help
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/02/05
Posts: 5750
Loc: ATLANTIC CITY
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Downtown San Francisco Jack In The BOX on Mission Street, 3 am...one of 3 places to eat at that hour in that area, Denny's and Mel's being the other two. I found myself in this one while staying at the Hotel Argent down the block, and my "guest" Carmela suddenly had a craving for one of Jack's Pumpkin Milkshakes, which I must admit is pretty fucking tasty. ANyway, I wheel in with Carmela behind me pushing, and the black dude in the top picture instantly calls out to me, "YO! Hey man how's it going?" Not missing a beat, I look at him and ask quizzically, "Monkey? Smelly Monkey?" He replies, "YEAH Man! How's it going? <in hushed tones> Hey man could ya hook me up with a jumbo jack, I am a little short ya know what I am saying bro?" By now I smell the booze on SM's breath, but I insist on introducing him to Carmela...."Carmela, this is Smelly Monkey....Dude, this is Carmela." "Yo she be fine brother! Damn you get around..." "Go back to sleep while I order your burger, I want to take your picture for some friends of mine..." Dude with the white beard..."I came to San Francisco in '65 man, I was at the Be-ins, the Love-ins and the parties at the Fillmore. I was THERE, Right THERE man, my pockets were empty, but my heart was open, like a flower in the Springtime. It's all gone now man....only the CHEESE is as it was..." Goddamn dude thought he was in a "REal California...It's the Cheese" Commercial. And it is possible, the dude with his head passed out down on the table MIGHT, in fact, be Kyoto...
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Are you gonna eat that?
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#201475 - 11/16/06 06:47 PM
Re: Im a full blown XPT Addict and I need help
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/06
Posts: 4470
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Motherfucker, now I'm going to have to watch that again just to find this! Quote:
My problem dawned on me when I was watching the Trey Parker movie "Orgazmo" with some buddies, and there was a scene with the main character receiving some AVN-type award. The presenter was Max Hardcore, and I blurted out "I can't believe they put him in this movie." My buddies looked at me confused and asked what I was talking about. I said "Uh, nevermind, I thought it was someone else." Recognizing Ron Jeremy in a non-porn movie, that's one thing. Recognizing Max Hardcore in a non-porn movie, then having to explain who he is, that's a completely different story.
_________________________
Because you already yelled 'dropping prices!!!' after Red Light canned you. - Gia Jordan to Brandon Iron
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