While that was a nifty bit of writing, I like the Popeye reference.

But someone needs to post on all porn sets, a OSHA-type notice reading:

ATTENTION STUNTCOCK: THESE WHORES ARE BEING PAID FOR THEIR TIME AND MORAL AMBIGUITY. DO NOT ASSUME THEIR PERMISSION TO ALLOW YOU PENIS INSIDE THEIR SHITHOLE IN ANY WAY IMPLES THEY WOULD DO THIS WITHOUT LOTS OF XANAX AND CASH. FOR FURTHER CLARIFICATION PLEASE CONTACT TYCE BUNE @ (818) 635-4*** OR KYLE STONE AT (310) 458-2***.