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Tuesday, October 31, 2006


i can feel myself dissolving

it's starting early. maybe i'm not the only one.

but i can seriously feel myself dissolving. today i'm a few more molecules short than i was yesterday. i can't connect my vision to my eyes. everything seems faraway.

and before you go flicking your hot ashes of premature judgment?

i'm as sober as the undertow.

this feeling i have, which has a cold or a flu tacked onto it, feels like i'm living in a universe that's on the other end of a see-saw from the one i was in a few days ago. a slightly tilted, bobble-headed thing.

i don't think it's from being sick, either. i think the sick is a reaction to it. not a cause, in and of itself.

so why this thing? which occasionally comes with quick staccato bursts of water-cooled, two and a half alarm panic, and called up by voices in my head proclaiming grand statements - hopefully none of them true based on how scared i get from receiving said transmissions.

i think i'm evolving (or devolving?) either way . . . i think i'm shifting into a lighter body. not that my "real" body is losing weight. that thing is as fat as an innertube tick these days. (lousy green tea ice cream.)

i mean i actually think that "I" (meaning my consciousness/soul body - the only part that I think never dies) is lifting out of this carbon-based thing to move into a new apartment someplace else. makes sense, this being close to the first of the month and all. (reminds me, my present carbon-based life form needs to drop off his rent check today.)

either that, or i'm just dizzy.

??????????

(don't fight it, shmavid. just go with the flow. even if you're the last man on earth, don't get scared. just let it wash over you. don't fight it or you'll drown.)

10:14 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

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Do you know how I know your gay?
You listen to ColdPlay.