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so my wondering is this- does anyone else feel bad?

my taste in pornography runs towards the more extreme. i like to watch max hardcore be mean to women. and i feel bad about it. not bad enough to stop watching, but bad nonetheless. after my load is shot, i often feel regret. shame. guilt. after all, what is wrong with me? why do i need to see what amounts to simulated rape to get off? i do not care for what my taste in jerking-off material says about me as a human being. sure, it is fantasy, but my fantasy is distasteful. i cannot share this fantasy with my girlfriend, despite the fact that she is very understanding and accepting of such things. it is, plain and simple, too much to admit to. once the deed is done, and my thoughts are clear once again, no amount of rationalization can change the fact that these are people whose suffering i just enjoyed. not whores, people. i can sit and analyze this all day, but it does not release me from the responsibility of this fact. clearly i am scared and initimidated by women, but why do i need to see them punished for my personal shortcomings? why do i actually want to see a young lady choked, peed on, puke all over herself, etc. to make up for the fact that i was too scared to ask some other girl to the prom? it has nothing to do with sex. it is abuse. my guilt is overpowering, sometimes.

anyone else ever feel like this? and please don't give any answer about them simply being "whores". it is idiotic. they are people, and you know it. society and its expectations do not enter into it, either. no woman can possibly enjoy what is done to them in some of these videos. we are enjoying the abuse of another person, no more and no less. these "whores" are standing in for all the women we cannot relate to in our real lives. it is, to me, troubling. it reveals to me things about myself i do not wish to know. surely i am not the only one who ever did feel this way.

but, anyway, typing about bitches being abused has got me all wound up and i have to go do the thing. please answer the question seriously. or at least be mean to me.

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Relax dude, it's a job. They're paid to do what they do, probably more than they should be in some cases. That's like saying you feel bad for a receptionist, or a doctor or something. If they don't like it, they can quit, and go flip burgers.