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#198008 - 10/22/06 11:01 AM
My fears for Holly Randall
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Whoremaster
Registered: 10/21/05
Posts: 2710
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Holly, I know you must be lonely since Aria Giovanni moved to the East Coast, but you're courting the wrong sort of attention. Firstly, you complain that DaBurglar isn't stalking you and that you feel left out, then you leak out this little titbit of information. (Courtesy of http://www.lukeisback) Quote:
Holly Randall Picks Up A Hooker
Holly Randall writes:
When I was 17 years old, and had just graduated high school, my parents sent my boyfriend and I to Europe for three weeks as a graduation present. That trip was the beginning of my sexual awakening as a teenager-- and is started at our final stop in Amsterdam.
On our second to last night, after many beers and several joints, we decided to do what we'd been thinking about since we'd arrived: hiring a hooker in the Red Light District. Since my boyfriend at the time didn't have a lot of money (he ran out in the middle of our trip) I was left to pay for everything afterwards. I, too, was running low on cash so we couldn't afford the really beautiful girls. But, we didn't want to nab just some old dried up hag, so we actually shopped around. I'm not kidding—we'd approach a prostitute, ask for her rate, and then inquire as to her specialties, etc. A few got pretty annoyed when we told them we'd have a look around and perhaps come back later, but those were the kinds of girls who were having a slow day, and for obvious reasons.
Eventually we settled on a fairly plump black lady—I remember she smelled nice and insisted on putting a condom on my boyfriend before giving him a blowjob. I thought how disgusting that might taste, but I was thankful she was being careful. She refused to go down on me when my boyfriend asked her to—actually, it was more like she pretended not to hear. After a little while I gave up and just watched my boyfriend fuck the shit out of her. And honestly, that was the biggest turn on of the entire experience. It made me realize I didn't actually find girls sexually attractive, but watching my man plow this woman in a way that made me wonder how she was going to walk the next day—well, that was pretty hot.
Encouraging DaBurg to stalk you, then revealing you are not unfavourably disposed to paying for someone else's hooker is a sure fire recipe to get DaBurg stalking you! It's the classic one-two sucker punch that he will be unable to resist. 
If I see any posts from you wherein you suggest that 'Harvard grads do it for me everytime!', then I'm calling your mother and telling her it's time for an intervention. 
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#198009 - 10/22/06 11:10 AM
Re: My fears for Holly Randall
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Human Garbage
Registered: 09/13/05
Posts: 1594
Loc: The "Phlogbox", apparently.
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Quote:
Eventually we settled on a fairly plump black lady...
This one?
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#198010 - 10/22/06 06:48 PM
Re: My fears for Holly Randall
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Kurt Lackwood's Fluffer
Registered: 12/09/05
Posts: 1291
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Quote:
Quote:
Eventually we settled on a fairly plump black lady...
This one?
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#198011 - 10/22/06 09:23 PM
Re: My fears for Holly Randall
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/02/05
Posts: 5750
Loc: ATLANTIC CITY
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1) I love KFC, I really do...Original recipe, after about 2 or 3 joints, is just fucking nirvana. 2) I will NEVER stalk Holly Randall...in fact, thanks to all this negative attention, I am going to ignore her completely from now on. I cannot take this anymore...Holly is a goddess, and I KNOW I am not the only one who feels this. But I cannot be the cause of any negative publicity, perception or mudslinging directed at her. In short, I must cut loose from her for her own good....Goodbye Holly  As compensation, however, send me your paypal info, I will wire you 2,000 bucks so you can hire the girl of your dreams. This one's on Da Burglar.... 
_________________________
Are you gonna eat that?
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#198016 - 10/24/06 07:01 PM
Re: My fears for Holly Randall
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Kurt Lackwood's Fluffer
Registered: 12/09/05
Posts: 1291
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when i was in amsterdam the only hookers we saw were fat black ones, though we didn't really explore the red light district a whole lot. apparently the better looking ones are in the harder to reach alleyways so small you have to brush past other leering semi-hard men. this and the fact that some 7% of prostitutes in amsterdam have HIV- despite all their freedoms and health rules- kept me out of the red light district after the novelty of staring at desperate women with whips behind glass wore off. there are much better things to do in amsterdam IMO.
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#198017 - 10/24/06 10:25 PM
Re: My fears for Holly Randall
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Max Hardcore Prison Bitch
Registered: 12/03/03
Posts: 255
Loc: DoodyVille
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Quote:
I love KFC, I really do...Original recipe, after about 2 or 3 joints, is just fucking nirvana.
+1
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#198018 - 10/25/06 08:29 AM
Re: My fears for Holly Randall
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/14/03
Posts: 7408
Loc: JM Productions
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#198019 - 10/25/06 09:23 AM
Re: My fears for Holly Randall
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/02/05
Posts: 5750
Loc: ATLANTIC CITY
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Quote:
Quote:
And no, DaBurg, I don't think you're stalking me. I've had semi-stalkers, and you don't even come close... yet.
Please dont tell me you gave Sportswami your phone number. 
Holly-->  <----Swami  <--everyone on porntalk
As a stalker, I am not a threat...Even Gen Padova, back before she started hating my guts after Erotica LA, remarked how she could spin my crippled sled around and push me into traffic if I ever started acting up with her, or behaving "fresh" (like trying to insert a finger or three up her ass like Kyoto did to Ashley Blue....)
Holly knows that I would essentially be a super intelligent Pet Puppy dog if she ever decided to have me over for dinner to meet her MUM and decide if I could write a better book about their business and life in general, than Master Luke can/could. I would drop everything, even my Beer pet projects, if I could write Holly's Biography, or her mum's.
_________________________
Are you gonna eat that?
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#198021 - 10/25/06 04:07 PM
Re: My fears for Holly Randall
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 9184
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Quote:
Quote:
I would drop everything, even my Beer pet projects, if I could write Holly's Biography, or her mum's.
No way, my story would only be written by me-- I didn't graduate from UCLA with a degree in literature to let someone else do it. Shit, I have to do something with all that time I spent studying Shakespeare when I could've been filming 10 guy gangbangs.
J. Hillis Miller would do a good job at it, though he would deconstruct you down to Sal Mckvey's concubine before he was done. 
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#198022 - 10/25/06 04:18 PM
Re: My fears for Holly Randall
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Porn Icon
Registered: 01/27/06
Posts: 3440
Loc: Jaundice Town
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what is a Beer Pet ? and how can i get one?
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#198024 - 10/25/06 04:44 PM
Re: My fears for Holly Randall
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Stormy's Lawyer
Registered: 10/16/06
Posts: 24
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Quote:
Quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As a stalker, I am not a threat...
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Realisitcally how big of a stalker threat could you be - stairs are your kryptonite.
you havent seen the crazy Terminator type shit Dean Kamen of Segway fame is bringing onto the market.
No longer can we depend upon Stairs to protect us from the Handicap Wrath!
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#198026 - 10/25/06 07:35 PM
Re: My fears for Holly Randall
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 9184
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Quote:
Quote:
As a stalker, I am not a threat...
Realistically, how big of a stalker threat could you be? Stairs are your kryptonite.
(edited typo)
Milton could bleed out that stalker without breaking a doggie-sweat. His canine teeth could sink into Burg's legs without so much as a wimper on DB's part.
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#198027 - 10/25/06 07:55 PM
Re: My fears for Holly Randall
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Pervert
Registered: 04/21/04
Posts: 2204
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Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
As a stalker, I am not a threat...
Realistically, how big of a stalker threat could you be? Stairs are your kryptonite.
(edited typo)
Milton could bleed out that stalker without breaking a doggie-sweat. His canine teeth could sink into Burg's legs without so much as a wimper on DB's part.
Is that you miss randall? you so beautiful! your head attached to king titty would have a nigga head over heals.
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#198031 - 10/25/06 08:58 PM
Re: My fears for Holly Randall
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Pervert
Registered: 04/21/04
Posts: 2204
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Quote:
Quote:
Is that you miss randall? you so beautiful! your head attached to king titty would have a nigga head over heals.
LOL yes that is me... funny you should say that because when Luke saw the pic he asked me, "Which one's the dog?" Hehe.
if i ever run across luke imma punch that nigga in his tooth! You cant apeak to miss randall like that.
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#198032 - 10/25/06 09:01 PM
Re: My fears for Holly Randall
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Pervert
Registered: 04/21/04
Posts: 2204
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Quote:
Quote:
Man holly is looking hot, its a shame shes a free spirit who turns out more boyfriends then the sex and the city cast otherwise she might of been the lucky mrs monkey, she could've given up taking pictures of nude women to help me open up my own flower shop.
I'm a born again virgin. Didn't I tell you? Haven't had sex in seven months and counting now. I'm gonna see if I can make it to 2007. At this rate that'll be easy to pull off. 
Miss randall will you give a nigga the pleasure of your company on new years eve 2006, we can go dancin or some shit? then off to the crib baby       
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#198033 - 10/25/06 09:07 PM
Re: My fears for Holly Randall
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/26/03
Posts: 8160
Loc: Roma, Repubblica Italiana
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#198034 - 10/25/06 09:32 PM
Re: My fears for Holly Randall
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Internet Tough Guy
Registered: 09/05/06
Posts: 769
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Quote:
Quote:
Is that you miss randall? you so beautiful! your head attached to king titty would have a nigga head over heals.
LOL yes that is me... funny you should say that because when Luke saw the pic he asked me, "Which one's the dog?" Hehe.
I suck at Photoshop but someone had to do it...
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#198035 - 10/26/06 10:30 AM
Re: My fears for Holly Randall
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/02/05
Posts: 5750
Loc: ATLANTIC CITY
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(Holly's Dog Pics Thread Hijack....)
1) I am jealous of this dog for some reason ... 
2) Doesnt this look like Holly put one of those cheap plastic-with-a-rubber-band-for-a-head-strap Halloween Masks (in this case, a "Luke Ford Halloween Mask") on the Dog, and is taking the dog Door-to-Door trick or treating?
3) Holly's True Halloween Porn Surrealistic Nightmare...
_________________________
Are you gonna eat that?
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#198036 - 10/26/06 10:44 AM
Re: My fears for Holly Randall
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/06
Posts: 4470
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Ewwww, is that Star Jones? She's got kneecaps bigger than my waistline. Precious Phlog, precious. Quote:
Quote:
Eventually we settled on a fairly plump black lady...
This one?
_________________________
Because you already yelled 'dropping prices!!!' after Red Light canned you. - Gia Jordan to Brandon Iron
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#198037 - 10/26/06 01:03 PM
Re: My fears for Holly Randall
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Whoremaster
Registered: 10/21/05
Posts: 2710
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Quote:
LOL yes that is me... funny you should say that because when Luke saw the pic he asked me, "Which one's the dog?" Hehe.
Let me be the first to lower the tone of this thread and state that that is one fine lookin' bitch...and the dog's kind of lovable too.
PS: Holly, I know you'll try and fob us all off with the 'I'm an English Lit. major, so I named him after the guy who wrote Paradise Lost' bullshit, but we all know the reason you named the dog Milton is because you're trying to brown-nose your way into an exclusive shooting gig with Berth Milton's Private magazine.
You ain't fooling anybody Ms. Randall, shame on you! 
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#198038 - 10/26/06 04:55 PM
Re: My fears for Holly Randall
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Max Hardcore Prison Bitch
Registered: 08/27/06
Posts: 310
Loc: on the interstates of this gre...
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add Stringbeans and you gotta hit !
_________________________
You are soaking in it. - Madge
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