its been a while and im bored. Monkey trivia time.



1. Which porn star said this. "Before porn. I got hooked on drugs back in Atlanta when I was 18. Literally, fresh out of high school! I had NEVER touched drugs or ANYTHING until I met my ex. I was an honor student with college dreams"

a) Cindy Crawford

b) Page Morgan

c) Alexa Rae

d) Taylor Hayes




2. Fill in the blank, Crissy Moran's father wanted her to remain a virgin of 'blank'

a) Germany

b) Israel

c) America

d) The former planet formerly known as Pluto




3. Which porn star lost a vivid contract offer due to a failed drug test?

a) Jenna Jameson

b) Dani Woodward

c) Taylor Rain

d) John Garfield




4. Which college did da burglar attend?

a) ucla

b) harvard

c) yale

d) honolulu community college



5. Which latin person in the adult industry did fernando vargas sleep with on the eve of his loss to oscar de la hoya?

a) Sativa Rose

b) Jennifer Luv

c) Jenaveve Jolie

d) Chico Travieso



6. How did John Doe kill himself?

a) hung himself

b) shot himself

c) Jump off a building

d) performed with Gen Padova


7. Which porn star would turn holly randall lesbian?

a) Aria Giovanni

b) meliss lauren

c) McKenzie Lee

d) Ryan Knox

e) none of the above

I'm too lazy and/or apathetic to use the search function or google, so here are my guesses.

1.) Alexa Rae
2.) America
3.) Taylor Rain - she's too stupid to abstain before testing.
4.) Honolulu Community College
5.) Sativa Rose. I like Chico too much to take the cheap shot.
6.) Shot himself. Too much of a pussy for wrist-slitting.
7.) None of the above. She'd do Knox in a second. Anally.

1. No idea...I'll guess Alexa Rae
2. Israel
3. Dani Woodward
4. Havard, apparently
5. Can't be Sativa Rose because she's not latin...my guess is Jenaveve
6. Hung himself
7. Aria Giovanni in a good way, Ryan Knox in a bad way

I guessing here as well.
1 a) Cindy Crawford
2 b) Israel
3 d) John Garfield, fucking 'roids
4 d) HCC, "Honolulu Community Colled voted 'Best Voactional School' by readers of the Hononolulu Advertiser."
5 d) Chico Travieso. Did Chico have a C note on Oscar?
6 e) All of the above. Shot himself while hanging from a building he jumped off of while doing a scene with G.Padova
7 e) None of the above. Holly likes the pipe, the meat stick.

1. a C.C.
2. b Israel
3. b Wood
4. b Hahvahd
5. c J.J.
6. a noose
7. d trick question

It's funny you should mention Honolulu Community College...I was offered a teaching position (Marketing) at the University of Hawaii back in 2003, just before I "retired"...I seriously considered accepting it until I saw the average size and weight of Polynesian Girls, and did some quick Math/physics projections, and determined that my sex life would become extremely dangerous since having extremely heavy girls bouncing on top during fucking could seriously hurt my brittle bones. I started an E-bay business instead selling pork rinds to African Aristocrats...what was the question again?

No ones perfect yet, I'll give the correct answers next time im on, theres a special prize for the winner, so if you haven't put in your answers nows the time.

1. a) Cindy Crawford

2. b) Israel

3. b) Dani Woodward

4. b) harvard

5. a) Sativa Rose

6. a) hung himself

7. a) Aria Giovanni

1) Cindy Crawford

2) Trick question, because he was hitting it.

3) Dani Woodward

4) I know but I'm not dropping the H-bomb too.

5) none of the above, it was Fabio

6) who cares how, just as long as he's gone

7) I think she said Aria Giovanni, but I have a C note that says Ryan could as well

Ok, results are as follows

1.c
2.b
3.b
4.b
5. c
6.a
7. e

so the winner with 6 out of 7 is danG


As the trivia winner you win an all expenses paid trip to for two to LA if you don't live there already for monkey's porn fantasy camp (like the major league baseball one they run for rich business men or retarded children dying of cancer), package includes

2 days and 2 nights of porno fun,

day 1: Lunch with the monkey himself, your very own aim test and a visit to the set of a major porn production

night 1: Dinner with the monkey and sizzling hot porn star deballa.

day 2: Helping select an obscure porn star to sign up as on xpt to pretend flirt with da burg only to end up breaking his heart with, then giving you the option to perform in your very own porn production as bukkake boy 237 in jm's smash hit series american bukkake (conditions apply as to the results of your aim test from day 1)

night 2: coming with monkey to scott fayners residence, helping monkey shout angry slurs at fayner for not being a present father and a low life until the police show up. followed by you flying home (or driving home) after you bail me out of jail for disturbing the peace and coming within 500 feet of fayner breaking the rules of the restraining order.


PM if you'd like to take advantage of this once in a lifetime opportunity, congrats monkey.

As for my question, you're right if you picked none of the above. Aria is like my sister, so that would be really weird hooking up with her. Of all those girls, Melissa is the only one who comes close... but I don't know if I'd be tough enough to handle her.