I'll come clean...I was planning on setting up a fake Yahoo account and then a fake ID over at ADT pretending to be a Polish porn fan (we have a lot of Poles over in the UK, so a .co.uk email or IP wouldn't have raised any red flags that couldn't be easily explained away).
My plan was to slowly clog ADT up with poorly written, grammatically-nonsensical posts with titles like
'For make anal fuck is Kelly Wells #1 USA girl!'. All good natured stuff, but practically indecipherable all the same.
Lo and behold, some guy has signed up as 'korwa.polna3' and is doing my planned schtick for me! My thunder has been well and truly stolen!
I guess you snooze, you lose.