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Time To Take Some People To Task:

OK All you pussies whining about the accomodations at the Tampa Show. Can we talk here? You are pornstars at best, that is the ones who weren't just straight out the damn trailer. Do you REALLY think the Ritz Carlton wants you in their hotel? At Any Price?

Nightmoves tried to upgrade our accomodations once and it was a disaster. The 4 star hotel they booked us into clearly didn't want us there and they made us almost as miserable as we made them,

If you don't know what Im talkin about read this

The Best Western they put us up in is clean and most importantly they accomodate us, they even LIKE having us there, and that counts for a lot. They keep the pool open, they keep the bar open and they tolerate our after hours antics.

Those of you whining about the bugs...HELLO It's fucking Florida....the bugs never die from cold weather, they just grow until their body mass becomes too large to support. So yes theres some big ones and yes if you leave the door to your room open you will probably see some of them but I will take the occassional Palmetto bug over a French cocksucker hotel manager with hallway monitor syndrome any day.

If you are attending the Tampa Show to be treated like some sort of faux celebrity stay the hell home. The reason to go is to hang out, make some new friends and have fun with some people in the biz you otherwise never meet.

Hell that best western has better, cleaner bedrooms that most of you have at home, I know that for a fact.

So when you come to Tampa enjoy the fun we have and the fact that the hotel welcomes us...that or stay the fuck in Los Angeles where you can believe you are someone special.

Jeez...sometimes porners make me wanna throw up.



10/15/2006

Funniest Quotes From The Tampa Show:

Dan Davis: "Lets throw Monstar into the pool and see if his make up runs"

Monstar: "I'm not wearing any"

Dan Davis: "OK lets throw Monstar into the pool and see if he can swim"



Lexi LaMour: (To Monstar) " I have your eyeliner in my room"



Mike South: (on observing someones dog swimming in the pool) "Look it's one of Dirty Bob's girls in the pool!" (Tracy high fives Mike)



Carmen Luvana: (When asked in an interview for ZFanz what she thought about 2257) whatever she said she said so fast that nobody understood it, I think half was english and half was spanish...we all just looked at each other dumbfounded because she is so fucking HOT!



Name Ommitted To Protect The Guilty: ( I swear it wasn't me ) " Caravan of Stars? Looks more like a Caravan of pigs.



Adell: (To Luke Ford) "Mike South lost 27 pounds on Jenny Craig"



Katy Zovolerin: (to me) "Has a girl ever stuck her finger in your ass"?

Me: "Are you kidding? I can't even pass a mustard seed"

And a WORD OUT To the DJ at the Nightmoves Show on Sunday Night, Whoever You Were:

YOU SUCK As A DJ Whatever Your Day Job Is...Don't Quit It!

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I didn't have a problem with the hotel when I went last year-- my room was clean and bug-free.

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I didn't have a problem with the hotel when I went last year-- my room was clean and bug-free.

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What about that Australian cockroach that you tried to housebreak?

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I didn't have a problem with the hotel when I went last year-- my room was clean and bug-free.

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What about that Australian cockroach that you tried to housebreak?

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Hahahaha... I was waiting for someone to crack a joke like that.

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Monstar has also been strangely quiet on this one too?

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i know what side my bread is buttered on, yo.

actually i didn't see anything, i was with a chick outside & on my way back in, nikita kash asked me if i knew what had happened.

i was waiting to do my re-cap, because i left my camera andused a friends to take pictures of the awards, so until i get them, i have not said much.

but i'll give you a few snippets.

i got booed when i accepted taryn's award...the crowd wanted "the dirtiest girl in porn," not my monkey ass.

talked to teagan for a good while. i really do like that little chick, and as long as she is happy....

for two of the nights, my hotel room became a party hangout. alot of which was caught on video....

xpt's own sierra smacked me in the face, in fun,but i guess it was to get back @ me for saying a windows media player could replace a dj. she takes that shit seriously.

i was drunk pretty much for the first 2 and a half days, caught a cold upon my return and more to come, sucka

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Anyone in the Monkey Cage got an ID for this girl?

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Anyone in the Monkey Cage got an ID for this girl?

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Anyone in the Monkey Cage got an ID for this girl?

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Her cleavage looks like a butt. Can we get her to post here?
(I like big jugs and I can not lie)

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WHOAH NELLIE!!! Remember kids- keep away from the firewater.

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Fucking Indians are sneaky. Didn't hear a peep out of Monstar about this pic.

This girl looks familiar.

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Heidi Pike?

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Fayner wrote that she sucked him off, which either means she'll be sticking half eaten corb cobs up her babyhighway, or she's now a raving meth addict.

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Fayner Posts: I knew the day would come when Mia Rose's talented mouth and tongue would find its way to the crooked skin I call my penis. It happened around four in the morning today. I was drunk and cracked out, banging on the door and ringing the bell. No answer. About to give up, I decided to at least try the door to see if it was locked. It wasn't. I snuck in, went up to Mia's room. She was at the computer playing World of Warcraft.

Sure, I was all fucked up on drugs, but Mia looked super good in her pajamas and sleeping mask she fashioned into a headband.

We chatted for a bit quietly so not to wake up Ava. A bulge appeared in my Israel Army pants.

Before getting down - and her going down - I grabbed my iPod and plugged it into her speakers. I then hit shuffle.

Time for business.

Knowing Mia's skills though some scenes I've checked out, I was prepared for a blistering hummer worthy of the Gods.

First though, music was needed. I hit shuffle and dropped my pants.

The first song to play was "Mr. Scary" by Dokken. I tapped the double-bass part on Mia's gorgeous head while she did her magic. Then "Way Cool Jr." by Ratt, "Nobody's Fool" by Cinderella and Skid Row's "18 and Life." I sang along most of the way though.

"Are you even paying attention to me?" she slurped.

I didn't answer, just kept on singing Skid Row."Bang bang shoot em up, the party never ends. You cant think of dying when the bottles your best friend!"

It's true 80s hair bands and blow jobs - receiving, not giving - rank among my most enjoyable activities ever, but unlike peanut butter and jelly these two treats prove to be a lousy combination for me.

"This isn't gonna work, sweetie. I have that damn Tom Keifer in my head, and he ain't leaving."

"Who the fuck is that?" she asked.

"He's the singer of Cinderella. His hair really sucked, but not as much as the drummer Fred Coury. Now his hair really sucked."

"At least someone's sucking, 'cause I'm not anymore. You know where the door is, right?"

So I left. I listened to LA Guns on the ride home and got a boner, thought about going back to Mia to show her but decided to leave the woman alone.

I'm not sure of any of this story I told is even true. Actually, I am sure. I didn't happen with me and Mia. It happened years ago but I thought Mia was perfect to play the pissed-off cocksucker instead of that guy I picked up in Queens and had him suck me off in an alley years ago.

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Not really true...but Mia gets a knock down one notch on the whore scale for even being in Fayner's drugpartment.

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Get this King: That really is Saratoga.

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Okay, so a friend of mine(who is not me by the way) has this little problem of getting turned on by the sight of Lisa Sparxxx. He thinks that there may be something seriously wrong with him. Any advice on what I...err, I mean he could do about this. Please keep in mind the guy is question is definitely not me.

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Perhaps this will help?

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She still dresses better and weighs less than my fucking wife. I tell you, the world is a truly fucked up place when a skanky advert for mascara thinner like Lisa makes me question my marriage.

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Okay, so a friend of mine(who is not me by the way) has this little problem of getting turned on by the sight of Lisa Sparxxx. He thinks that there may be something seriously wrong with him. Any advice on what I...err, I mean he could do about this. Please keep in mind the guy is question is definitely not me.

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Take your penis out, place it on a work bench, get a hammer, and repeatedly hit your penis until it no longer responds to Lisa. I mean hit your friends penis with a hammer until it no longer responds to Lisa. Of course you can also have your friend hit your penis as ...... fuck it, never mind.

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Okay, so a friend of mine(who is not me by the way) has this little problem of getting turned on by the sight of Lisa Sparxxx. He thinks that there may be something seriously wrong with him. Any advice on what I...err, I mean he could do about this. Please keep in mind the guy is question is definitely not me.

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Take your penis out, place it on a work bench, get a hammer, and repeatedly hit your penis until it no longer responds to Lisa. I mean hit your friends penis with a hammer until it no longer responds to Lisa. Of course you can also have your friend hit your penis as ...... fuck it, never mind.

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w0w..thats very h0m0erotic of you c62..way to r0ck 0ut with your c0ck 0ut d00d..

ChickenMaster sent me a pm refering to such activities....
Get in touch with him for a smokin hot thu-ree-some.

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ChickenMaster sent me a pm refering to such activities....
Get in touch with him for a smokin hot thu-ree-some.

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w0w..thats very h0m0erotic of you c62..way to r0ck 0ut with your c0ck 0ut d00d..

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Leetspeak is officially gay!

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w0w..thats very h0m0erotic of you c62..way to r0ck 0ut with your c0ck 0ut d00d..

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Leetspeak is officially gay!

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w0w..thats very h0m0erotic of you c62..way to r0ck 0ut with your c0ck 0ut d00d..

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Leetspeak is officially gay!

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w0w..thats very h0m0erotic of you c62..way to r0ck 0ut with your c0ck 0ut d00d..

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Leetspeak is officially gay!

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Apparently 'T "Montgomery" is down with the meatstick too..r0ck 0ut br0.

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