I hope most of you are familiar with this great Western tune, a beautiful love song and my recently departed Father's favorite. Que up your imaginary Spanish guitar and enjoy this Weird Al wannabe of XPT's parody of the Marty Robbins classic, "El Paso":

Out just this week is a brand new Gag Factor,
I ordered up, it was here in four days.
Night time would find me in front of the T.V.,
Trying to decide on which scene I would gaze.

Blacker than night is the heart of the Girlvert,
Wicked and evil and sexy as hell.
Most scenes are great from this filthy young maiden,
Just thinking 'bout her, my manhood does swell.

In this scene a wild young cocksmith came in,
Wild as the West Texas wind.
Brash and uncaring,
A drink he was sharing,
And cursing at Ashley,
Distractingly much,

So in anger, I

Hit the fast forward, maybe he'd shut up,
Throat fucking started, he's just talking more.
It looks like a great scene, I'd love to enjoy it,
Instead of his shit, I want sounds from the whore.

I hit the mute button and sat there in silence,
Awed by the foul, evil deed they had done.
Many thoughts raced through my mind as I sat there,
Try Tobi Pacific, she might be the one.

Up on the railing Rick Masters appeared,
Showing his boner with pride.
It was a good one,
It looked like it could cum,
She was taken aback but he started the ride,

Just as far as
He could down the throat of the new red-haired maiden,
I drooled at the natural beauty below.

My Co-Ed Cocksuckers collection is useless,
Dr. Fellatio is also eclipsed.
In every Gag Factor, one scene is outrageous,
Tobi's terrific, but back to the list.

I pushed the MENU and away I did go,
Staring at thumbs of the sluts.
Maybe tomorrow a crack whore will blow me,
Tonight nothing's worse than this pain in my nuts.

So at last, here I

Am overlooking this brand new Gag Factor,
I'll skip to the last scene, you never know.
Another outdoor scene, this backpacker loves them,
Down to a footbridge a new cutie goes.

There on the bridge I see violent throat fucking,
This girl may list with my top dozen whores.
There's seven more scenes to review in this movie,
And I've two more disks filled with lots of backdoor.

This scene is dreadfully strong for I feel,
A deep, dark excitement inside.
It's no use trying to find one that's better,
Athletic young beauty Gag Factored outdoors.

And my lust for

Fellatio is strong and it pushes me onward,
I'm stroking it now like I'm in a contest.
I see the white stuff from my smoking rifle,
I feel the jism land warm on my chest.

From out of this scene, my song was inspired,
It might take a week for all ten scenes, all right?
A last lustful glance at a romp I would die for,
I blow her a kiss and Alicia, good-night.

-Chuck, Vegetarian fanboy