Young an Anal 10
JM Productions Directed by Jim Powers
Starring Kelli Dean, Zoe May, Gwen Summers, Regan Star

You might think this is a documentary about that one tightly-would roommate you had back in the 90’s that put the dishes away according to color, and would wipe the phone down with disinfectant before using it; but that’s not the kind of ‘anal’ we’re talking about today. No, this “Young and Anal” DVD is firmly dedicated to the fine and elusive art of impaling teenage (or close to it) sphincter. This kinda shit never worked back when I was in college, but the kids are dopier these days, so pay attention, and you just might pick up some good pointers on scoring your own slice of 19 year old brown eye.

Before the show begins, there’s a montage of scenes from previous JM productions, including “Guttermouths”, “Bootylicious”, and “American Bukkake”. Seeing as this is my first look at a JM video, I was stunned by the rapid-fire cavalcade of carnage on display. Chicks rolling around in the mud, taking on a dozen cocks at a time, green goo spewing out of their assholes- who’s running the show over there, Caligula? Obviously, these guys do not fuck around. After a spasming title sequence, the first scene rolls in, and it’s a corker. Pun intended. Kelli Dean (who has since left the biz, I believe- “Y n’ A 10” was shot in ’98) plays Kelly (easier to remember your lines that way) who’s hanging out at one of those crazy-ass mansions that are seemingly built just to be befouled by porn producers. She’s dressed in an all-white overalls-shorts ensemble, and that’s fitting, because she’s supposed to be both podunk-innocent, and a virgin. She’s also got a smoking, athletic body, and a chiseled debutante’s face. It’s slathered in K-mart make-up, but hey, a lot of the budget had to go to the location. Her boyfriend’s best friend Jeff comes by, and the fast-talking weasel slowly convinces her into ever escalating acts of debauchery. From a harmless-if adulterous, kiss-to full-on, sweaty, reverse cowgirl anal pounding in ten minutes flat- there’s got to be an award waiting for this guy somewhere. This little slice of classic anal action is very hot indeed, because Kelli really plays up the dizzy, clueless ingénue angle, making this one seem more like you stumbled in on a real player on the prowl than on a staged fuck scene. Jeff (I dunno who the actor is, but he looks kind of like the Mountain Dew guy) does a weird turn at the end, abandoning the horny nice guy routine and adopting a misogynist bark- “Eat the cum off my shit-encrusted dick, you bitch!”-but, you know, a lot of guys get that way after they cum. Lesson learned: Tell a girl she’ll still be a virgin if you fuck her in the ass. If she’s dumb enough, it just might work.

In the next scene, a brainless, bespectacled telemarketer with a squeaky cartoon voice (pretty Gwen Summers) gets some advice from her boss, an evil hipster type with a curious Boss Hog accent- “Yo’ gramma’s gonna die, unless you suck mah dick.” I wish there was a good story leading up to that line, but there isn’t, really. At least the cock in her mouth muffles that Powerpuff Girls chirp. Eventually, he introduced her to the delights of a good anal workout, and as he glazes her face, she asks for a raise, and for medical insurance. He agrees, or course. You would, too. Lesson learned: If she says, “Do I get to keep my job if I do this?” then you are in for a fun afternoon. If she says, “Are you sure it’s supposed to go in there?” then you’re in for an even better one.

In her double pigtails, skintight miniskirt, and jutting implants, Zoe May looks like a blonde rock goddess, sorta like a slumming version of Sarah from LA glam metal band Halfcocked. In her scene, she plays a flighty college student working part-time in a hardware store. She’s not very good at it, apparently. Her first problem is that she’s looking for “Size 2 sockets” in a porn warehouse. She meets up with a couple of shady studs back there. “Do you know about sexual harassment in the workplace?” One of ‘em asks her. She does not. “Well, we’re gonna teach you all about it”, he tell her. Next thing you know, those big phony tits are bouncing freely, and Zoe’s mouth is stuffed with dick. “I just want you to know that I didn’t come to college just to have sex and suck cock”, she says, between mouthfuls. Then she giggles. “Well, maybe I did.” Double penetration and a healthy facial ensues. Lesson learned: college girls are easy. We knew that one already, tho.

Regan Star does, in fact, look like a Midwestern cheerleader. However, her off-key caterwauling and clumsy moves would’ve gotten her laughed right out of junior varsity. Luckily, her cock smoking skills more than make up for it, at least for Jake, who endures her routine long enough to get some noisy appreciation sex out of her. Regan takes a cock in her ass with more ease and grace than most, which brings us to our final lesson: Cheerleaders like getting butt-fucked. I wish somebody woulda told me that in high school.

“Young and Anal” it most certainly is. This one’s a sexy addition to the series, aided greatly by the feigned naivety of the girls. Not many “gonzo” styled production outfits pay much attention to the build-up in a scene, and this one does a fantastic job of it. Righteous.
-Sleazegrinder