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Now Burg, you failed to mention how you turned me down after trying to save you from all the evil whores because I wasn't zonked out on pills and alcohol like the rest of those that you like to reminisce (sp?) blah...

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It's totally weird...the more Smelly Monkey insists you are not attractive, the more I find my erectile function improving when I see or read about you, and the more I wish I had done the following during Erotica LA:

I wish I had wheeled up to the Rockman entertainment booth like a taxi cab. Ignoring all other whores (zonked or not) within 15 feet, I signal you to jump on (like you actually did when i wheeld you to the rest room across the convention hall.) Except this time we STRATEGICALLY , REARRANGE THINGS SO THAT, YOU ARE not only simply riding on my lap, but riding my boner as well. Can ya picture that? how fucking cool would that have been? People see you being taxied around on my lap, but cleverly concealed under your change of clothes Bag and convention Fodder/material bag my Boner rests comfortably in your cootch. Then, I find a LONG stretch of open floor space, pick up an incredible amount of speed wheeling really fast, and climax (i.e. creampie you) while hitting maximum cruising speed as we Whiz past Allie Ray screaming at David Luger not to look at you while my splooge pumps up into your twat. You yell at Allie Ray "Why would I want your boyfriend David Loogey when I have a crippled creampie dispenser at my disposal?" Allie would probably then attack us both, dumping us onto the convention floor and my boner would pop out and everyone would see what we were doing. Someone would have caught the event on camera no doubt and we would be up for some kind of novelty AVN Award this January in Vegas. In our acceptance speech we thank Smelly Monkey for driving us together like a Hammer and a nail, Monkey being the ONLY force strong enough for Gen to overcome her disgust of cripples to fuck me, and for me to embrace my love of clean and sober intelligent super short nymphos with "extra beak."