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He doesn't know why. You might as well ask why he dreams of putting cigarettes out on Sierra Sinn. It's a compulsion like his habit of circling elementary schools in his car.

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How many posts does this make for you today? Do you have trouble making time for XPT in the midst of your busy, well-adjusted, healthy social life?

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Since I'm sitting at my computer writing some software anyway, what does it matter, if I look in every now and then to bitch slap you? It's a public service after all.

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Fear Have2shit's pimp hand.

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Fear Have2shit's pimp hand.

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the work comes in spurts sort of like the blood and semen from your victims.

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No doubt about it, Have2cit is the roughest toughest internet message board guy on the planet.

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It may be the equivalent of applauding someone's talent for reciting Klingon battle hymns... but you know h2c takes genuine pride in that knowledge.

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Actually, I believe knowledge of an Archaic language like Klingon would be very useful in a wartime situation, much like the Native American code talkers in WW2...certainly more useful than knowing that Kazumi Shirahachi directed the first episode of 'Atom Pants Hibiki Super Schoolgirl GoGoGo #1!'.

Kaplah, bitch! (Yes, I used to work in a comic book store).

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No doubt about it, Have2cit is the roughest toughest internet message board guy on the planet.

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Those words, written in that precise order, are paradoxically the saddest, and funniest thing I've read since the Starr Report. It may be the equivalent of applauding someone's talent for reciting Klingon battle hymns... but you know h2c takes genuine pride in that knowledge.

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Yeah, aren't internet message board tough guys, bullies, the scariest. I mean I'm totally afraid that have2cit will reach through my computer and choke me, or type something that would hurt my feelings.

Oooooohhh, he's so scary! Ooooooh he may say something mean to me!

Ooooohhh, he doesn't like my posts, my fragile ego can't handle it, whatever shall I do.

Just out of Curiosity Have2cit, who died and made you king of the message board? You're such an old meanie on this message board I can only picture you as the tiny geek in thick glasses who's never been laid, gets slapped around by everyone, even women, so you come here and act like billy joe bob badass on the message board.

I'm with the Monkey, thought this was a place where we could post about porn, not have some asshole with an inferiority complex act like the king of the forum and judge our every post.

Why and the fuck do you think your opinion matters to anyone?

Do you believe anyone is actually intimidated by what you post here?

How did you get intellectually stunted to where you didn't get beyond the point where making the sad tired insults you make seems cool to you? BTW My sons 12 and I hear him and his friends say the same things to each other when I pick him up from school. Perhaps you could indulge yourself in some Hip Hop and at least bring your tired act into this decade and add flavor too it. What occurred in your life that caused you to lack the ability to avoid things you find unpleasant. I mean if I don't like someones writing, I just don't read it. Why are you incapable of that level of self censorship where you can't not read things you know upset you? How did you develop this inability to control yourself, and how did you come to believe you can actually intimidate people via the internet?

Of course it's kind of funny to see some of the old archaic insults being reused, most of them fell out of favor. It's like watching old bugs bunny cartoons that haven't had the violence edited out, or old black and white monster movies.

And by all means, whine like a bitch about my posts, talk about giving someone power over you. I know you can't stop me from posting, your not a moderator. I'm sure you PM the mods about my posts and whine trying to get them to ban me and the others. I like when someone hands me their chain and tells me to yank on it whenever I feel like it. Thank you for giving me the power to upset you every time I post something.

You should get a cat, that way when you read a post by me you could kick the cat and take out your anger that way, instead of writing something that demonstrates you're powerless to stop me from posting on this forum. But if you insist on responding to my posts in the fashion you do, I'll continue to laugh at you about it.

Thanks again, please respond.

I know, I know, I probably used too many words and the ADD will set in and he won't get 1/3rd of the way through the post. I try to write less and I try to simplify my writing so people with his intellectual ability can comprehend it, but it's hard to lower myself to that level to communicate with the brain dead.

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No doubt about it, Have2cit is the roughest toughest internet message board guy on the planet.

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Those words, written in that precise order, are paradoxically the saddest, and funniest thing I've read since the Starr Report. It may be the equivalent of applauding someone's talent for reciting Klingon battle hymns... but you know h2c takes genuine pride in that knowledge.

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Oh yeah, star trek references, I guess I was wrong you are so cool. Go to the conventions too?

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Yeah, aren't internet message board tough guys, bullies, the scariest. I mean I'm totally afraid that have2cit will reach through my computer and choke me, or type something that would hurt my feelings.

Oooooohhh, he's so scary! Ooooooh he may say something mean to me!

Ooooohhh, he doesn't like my posts, my fragile ego can't handle it, whatever shall I do.

Just out of Curiosity Have2cit, who died and made you king of the message board? You're such an old meanie on this message board I can only picture you as the tiny geek in thick glasses who's never been laid, gets slapped around by everyone, even women, so you come here and act like billy joe bob badass on the message board.

I'm with the Monkey, thought this was a place where we could post about porn, not have some asshole with an inferiority complex act like the king of the forum and judge our every post.

Why and the fuck do you think your opinion matters to anyone?

Do you believe anyone is actually intimidated by what you post here?

How did you get intellectually stunted to where you didn't get beyond the point where making the sad tired insults you make seems cool to you? BTW My sons 12 and I hear him and his friends say the same things to each other when I pick him up from school. Perhaps you could indulge yourself in some Hip Hop and at least bring your tired act into this decade and add flavor too it. What occurred in your life that caused you to lack the ability to avoid things you find unpleasant. I mean if I don't like someones writing, I just don't read it. Why are you incapable of that level of self censorship where you can't not read things you know upset you? How did you develop this inability to control yourself, and how did you come to believe you can actually intimidate people via the internet?

Of course it's kind of funny to see some of the old archaic insults being reused, most of them fell out of favor. It's like watching old bugs bunny cartoons that haven't had the violence edited out, or old black and white monster movies.

And by all means, whine like a bitch about my posts, talk about giving someone power over you. I know you can't stop me from posting, your not a moderator. I'm sure you PM the mods about my posts and whine trying to get them to ban me and the others. I like when someone hands me their chain and tells me to yank on it whenever I feel like it. Thank you for giving me the power to upset you every time I post something.

You should get a cat, that way when you read a post by me you could kick the cat and take out your anger that way, instead of writing something that demonstrates you're powerless to stop me from posting on this forum. But if you insist on responding to my posts in the fashion you do, I'll continue to laugh at you about it.

Thanks again, please respond.

I know, I know, I probably used too many words and the ADD will set in and he won't get 1/3rd of the way through the post. I try to write less and I try to simplify my writing so people with his intellectual ability can comprehend it, but it's hard to lower myself to that level to communicate with the brain dead.

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I would respond to this, but I just couldn't bring myself to read it.

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Yeah, aren't internet message board tough guys, bullies, the scariest. I mean I'm totally afraid that have2cit will reach through my computer and choke me, or type something that would hurt my feelings.

Oooooohhh, he's so scary! Ooooooh he may say something mean to me!

Ooooohhh, he doesn't like my posts, my fragile ego can't handle it, whatever shall I do.

Just out of Curiosity Have2cit, who died and made you king of the message board? You're such an old meanie on this message board I can only picture you as the tiny geek in thick glasses who's never been laid, gets slapped around by everyone, even women, so you come here and act like billy joe bob badass on the message board.

I'm with the Monkey, thought this was a place where we could post about porn, not have some asshole with an inferiority complex act like the king of the forum and judge our every post.

Why and the fuck do you think your opinion matters to anyone?

Do you believe anyone is actually intimidated by what you post here?

How did you get intellectually stunted to where you didn't get beyond the point where making the sad tired insults you make seems cool to you? BTW My sons 12 and I hear him and his friends say the same things to each other when I pick him up from school. Perhaps you could indulge yourself in some Hip Hop and at least bring your tired act into this decade and add flavor too it. What occurred in your life that caused you to lack the ability to avoid things you find unpleasant. I mean if I don't like someones writing, I just don't read it. Why are you incapable of that level of self censorship where you can't not read things you know upset you? How did you develop this inability to control yourself, and how did you come to believe you can actually intimidate people via the internet?

Of course it's kind of funny to see some of the old archaic insults being reused, most of them fell out of favor. It's like watching old bugs bunny cartoons that haven't had the violence edited out, or old black and white monster movies.

And by all means, whine like a bitch about my posts, talk about giving someone power over you. I know you can't stop me from posting, your not a moderator. I'm sure you PM the mods about my posts and whine trying to get them to ban me and the others. I like when someone hands me their chain and tells me to yank on it whenever I feel like it. Thank you for giving me the power to upset you every time I post something.

You should get a cat, that way when you read a post by me you could kick the cat and take out your anger that way, instead of writing something that demonstrates you're powerless to stop me from posting on this forum. But if you insist on responding to my posts in the fashion you do, I'll continue to laugh at you about it.

Thanks again, please respond.

I know, I know, I probably used too many words and the ADD will set in and he won't get 1/3rd of the way through the post. I try to write less and I try to simplify my writing so people with his intellectual ability can comprehend it, but it's hard to lower myself to that level to communicate with the brain dead.

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I would respond to this, but I just couldn't bring myself to read it.

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Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha, that was expected of you.

Thanks again for responding.

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Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha, that was expected of you.

Thanks again for responding.

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Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha, you're gay.

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...my lack of perversion and my disdain for porn, and in particular the whores (most of them) that make the porn....

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I'm pleased to see he's taking to the cure.

Remember kids, just because you masturbate to images of whores being sodomized does not automatically make them good people.

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William Hyde has hated my guts ever since I took the story Luke broke, and shined a brighter spotlight on the festering sore by dragging it into XPT, regarding Riley Shy's (and her Aeronautical Engineering Genius, pot smoking Financial Wizard of a boyfriend) crime spree involving dubious check cashing shennanigans. Whats up with that William? I always gave you a wide berth, and even talked to you on many of those nights back when I still had a MYspace Profile and you would send out those 2:30 am bulletins..."I'm Bored. Anyone want to talk?", thus killing my buzz.... Remember all that Boyo?

Now you've gone and gotten a couple cheap shots in on me, and in the process gotten mixed up and in way over your head with have2cit. Have2 has, since I have been posting here, the most emphatic Avatar, the shotgun blasting redneck, which should tell you something right there.

But your apparent hatred for me now stems from my lack of perversion and my disdain for porn, and in particular the whores (most of them) that make the porn. You thought I was unfair and too hard on Riley....Sorry dude, if anything She got off lightly. In fact, are you still in close contact with her, like you were before? As I recall you were pretty much acting as her mouthpiece here for a short while, almost like her lawyer. Whatever happened to her with the money she stole from Vince Voyeur?

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First of all I don't hate you, and I'm sorry if any of the remarks I made here implied such. And if I ever did, it certainly wouldn't have anything to do with what you wrote about Riley Shy. I hardly ever talk to her anymore. But she's popped out a few titles since she went to Spiegler, and as far as I know she's doing ok. Good for her. I told you then that it made no difference to me, and it still doesn't. As far as your alleged disdain for porn, and all those "whores" who lack any self-respect or dignity; I think everyone here is more than familiar with your pattern of behavior. The "cheap shots" I've taken are, for me, a subconscious effort to slap some sense into you, so you might recover a shred of your own self-respect and dignity.
The fact is I don't really have any strong feelings one way or the other toward anyone on this board.
If I feel anything, it's pity. Not just for you, but for anyone who gets so wrapped up in what gets posted here, that they start viewing it as having real consequence. XPT is the most inconsequential fringe element of the most inconsequential industry, and yet I continually read references to "making waves", "being accepted", and getting in "way over your head". What are the consequences of getting in over my head with h2c Burg? He rants and raves for 4 or 5 more posts until the inevitable denoument of the dreaded ???
Seen it. I'm just completely nonplussed by all the misplaced concern.
I post here because it's occaisionally amusing to read, and it's occaisionally amusing to take my own shots. That's the beginning and end of it, and after that, I just don't give a shit. It's an online porn chat forum.

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First of all I don't hate you, and I'm sorry if any of the remarks I made here implied such. And if I ever did, it certainly wouldn't have anything to do with what you wrote about Riley Shy. I hardly ever talk to her anymore. But she's popped out a few titles since she went to Spiegler, and as far as I know she's doing ok. Good for her. I told you then that it made no difference to me, and it still doesn't. As far as your alleged disdain for porn, and all those "whores" who lack any self-respect or dignity; I think everyone here is more than familiar with your pattern of behavior. The "cheap shots" I've taken are, for me, a subconscious effort to slap some sense into you, so you might recover a shred of your own self-respect and dignity.
The fact is I don't really have any strong feelings one way or the other toward anyone on this board.
If I feel anything, it's pity. Not just for you, but for anyone who gets so wrapped up in what gets posted here, that they start viewing it as having real consequence. XPT is the most inconsequential fringe element of the most inconsequential industry, and yet I continually read references to "making waves", "being accepted", and getting in "way over your head". What are the consequences of getting in over my head with h2c Burg? He rants and raves for 4 or 5 more posts until the inevitable denoument of the dreaded ???
Seen it. I'm just completely nonplussed by all the misplaced concern.
I post here because it's occaisionally amusing to read, and it's occaisionally amusing to take my own shots. That's the beginning and end of it, and after that, I just don't give a shit. It's an online porn chat forum.

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I don’t hate you and it wasn’t about Riley. Riley is doing fine. I made the attack to bring you to your senses. When it comes to this board, I’m a nihilist. Have2cit always says I’m gay. The people on this board get too worked up over bullshit.

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I don’t hate you and it wasn’t about Riley. Riley is doing fine. I made the attack to bring you to your senses. When it comes to this board, I’m a nihilist. Have2cit always says I’m gay. The people on this board get too worked up over bullshit.

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Total word count: 52

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This is the second most fucked up thread I've read on the internet.

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Look at what I found under my christmas tree today. A crazy PM from piggie.

From: Da Burglar

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"my dick in Hillary Scott's rancid shithole for a weekend (she looks awful by the way, "


"if anyone was stalked, it was ME, and I can prove it. Hailey Young, on several occasions when i tried to 'break it off'"


"on these other fucktards and phonies (Padova, G. Jordan) who are stinking up the place way more than I did. "

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I am actually receiving "attaboy" PMs from people for somehow going toe to toe with you and holding my own so far...

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You forgot Irish Midget, aka 'DIablo', Rob Black's Mascot over at Extreme, the single reason why I am not also working part time for Mr Black ala Zupko. Seriously, Rob liked my ideas when i met him after Erotica LA, but Diablo already had the place so screwed up in its perception of crippled perverts, that a semi-normal, somewhat goodlooking, extremely intelligent cripple like me didnt jive with the freak of nature perception of cripples they had built up cuz of Irish Midget Diablo. But throw him into the thread. Wait NVM, I 'll do it....

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Private message....totally exagerating, none of which should be taken seriously, spewing what I thought would be inside jokes, jabs and what not between what I thought would just be Monkey and myself, and I was completely sober when i wrote that.

I probobably would have preferred you to not post that in the forum, I guess.

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You conceded earlier that you are a complete asshole and that no one really cares what YOU think (thus seemingly making what I think about what you think ridiculous.) But thats all bullshit. You are the biggest ego(s) in industry. You have a name and rep to uphold, a "cage" to upkeep, thus making your whole "Ah who gives a fuck" approach absurd.

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Word to the wise, don't believe the info you get from someone whos willing to sell their baby for an abe lincoln.

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I just PMed Burg another "Atta boy" message. I'm keen to see how far this will go.

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hmmm makes sense now.

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I don't know if it's real. It's not from "Club" Da Burglar.

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god its bad enough when other burned out ex contract stars steal it from the number 1 burned out contract star (jenna) but now she has to worry about the fanboys staking claim to it too.

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Burn four bridges with one post. The only way to roll.

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da burglar's meltdown is well on it's way to becoming more famous than Chernobyl.

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You throwing people under a bus is far too good to keep to myself. Would you like to meet for a coffee or perhaps some carmel (get it?) Im subtle.

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Word to the wise, don't believe the info you get from someone whos willing to sell their baby for an abe lincoln.

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Nah, see you cant have everything both ways. What I KNOW sure as shit didnt come from anyone here or in this industry, although many clues and background info was provided by certain individuals here. I have my own means , and they dont look or act like that old guy who helped Robert Redford in Indecent Proposal.

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I don't know if it's real. It's not from "Club" Da Burglar.

god its bad enough when other burned out ex contract stars steal it from the number 1 burned out contract star (jenna) but now she has to worry about the fanboys staking claim to it too.

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Yeah, another joke you choose to manipulate. Like no one remembers "Club Monkey" from last year. I may have botulism placed in your soup, I can do that without much trouble. Then for six months everyone would wonder where the fuck you went and "Oh hey what happened to the cage?" blah blah blah



I only drive self powered wheelchairs, which is why you need to pray you never wind up within ten feet of me. I wont seek you out, but if the opportunity presents itself I am turning your sternum into a xylophone. Then I will pay for your rehab and do it again when you are healed....

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I only drive self powered wheelchairs, which is why you need to pray you never wind up within ten feet of me. I wont seek you out, but if the opportunity presents itself I am turning your sternum into a xylophone. Then I will pay for your rehab and do it again when you are healed....

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Man, "Monkey"... and I thought you were gonna post something different. You're losing your wit and creativity.

"Booo Hoooo, die, i want you to die, jrv blah blah blah, boo hoo, I'm a fuckin' cry baby, I can't handle it when I don't get my way. Die, infected whore, die... that's all I know cuz I'm a pussy. Die, Gen"

Pathetic. Boring, yet amusing enough to chuckle at. That's all you're good for. Take your own advice or I'll do it for you.

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Oh god, my creativity is getting critiqued by a professional urinal. Someone who lets themselves get pissed on for a benjamin, you realize that what you chose to do professionally is the same act that poverty stricken euro teens get tricked into doing and never recover from and most of which live near chernobyl and their only wish is to return home, they'd rather go back to CHERNOBYL then continue being pissed on, they take radioactive wasteland to what you chose to do, your pride is lower then someone whos brother has 4 arms and drinks from the same water her pigs do. Well im sorry to cut this short but ive got a meeting with homeless joe jackson as hes giving an interesting speech at the local park on whether andy warhol was really an artistic genius or whether his name was built on his high profile/high paying acid affected celebrity clients.

Im hoping that one day the same message I pump gets home to you and you follow through and judging by your response i think its cracked through the first surface.

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Okay now im hoping someone has managed to convince you that im (we) are wankus and tyler faith, if so , come up and say hi next time you see us.

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Carly Milne might be worse than smartt. She's a foul smelling, arrogant, no-talent 'porn publicist.' What a career? Porn publicist?! that's worse than shoveling elephant shit at the circus!

I'm going to rape her sickening asshole and give her an extra special fisting. I'm going to tape razor blades to my knuckles and fist the shit out of her uterus. She'll never have kids, thankfully. I'll be a hero to everyone!!!

CARLY MILNE AND HER ENTIRE FAMILY NEED TO GET AIDS!!!

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