I just found out today that im pregnant and although this probably isn't the best place to turn for advice I feel its the most honest as most users have a good understanding of the history of the father of my unborn child. Scott Fayner. Im really torn as to whether i should keep the baby or not, I love fayner but the chances of him still being alive by the time the baby is 5 is unlikely and even if he was im not sure id want that type of influence in my childs life. Ive always wanted a baby, someone I could dump my issues on. God, I haven't told my family or friends because if i do decide to scrabble its brains id prefer they never knew nor have I told fayner (so hes more then likely finding out as he reads this post). What does the board think I should do?

Congratulations! Giving birth is so much hotter than Fisting and I am sure you will enjoy it even more. When I had mine I made them put it back in so I could do it all over again because I didnt orgasm the first time!

Where are you planning to register for the Shower?

Monkey, imagine your baby on play dates with Sammura's babies. You've got 3 months to make the right decision. I pegged Fayner for one to flush the condoms or did you inseminate yourself from the used ones he threw in the garbage can, nba gold digger style? What were you trying to keep alive by spawning his child? This isn't the way to keep him forever bonded to you. Do they make Van Halen tees pre-Hagar for infants?

Speaking of why I support abortion...

No one fuckin' asked you. It's 2am. Bars just closed. Get back to walking the track. Prime time moola.

That was a real hum-dinger of the walking-the-track internet-cutdown. Could you type it again?

Quote:

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No one fuckin' asked you.

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But the whole joke is funnier if instead of "Sammura" you make it about "Gia Jordan". Gia Jordan's career is going no better than Sammura's, despite Gia Jordan having an elaborate website set up by Tony and Jeff to help her type internet-cutdowns to pretend she's a porn actress, and that is funny.

Keep it, suck Fayners trust fund dry with child support payments. He will sober up quickly if he doesn't have money to buy drugs.

I just got back from the future and I return with a picture of Monkey Baby Fayner.