Quote:

I call her in Montreal (her email and paypal is lararoxx@yahoo.com) Tuesday afternoon.

Luke: "How are you?"

Lara, 24: "I just lost my cat and I'm having my period and I'm feeling really upset."

"There's a cemetery between my apartment and the biggest boulevard."

Luke: "What work are you doing these days?"

Lara: "I'm working on answering emails that I've been getting for two years and haven't answered."

Lara takes five phone calls during our brief conversation.

Lara: "I want you to write that I'm going back to school. That I have an apartment, a car and a boyfriend. That everything is normal. I'm taking tri-therapy -- three medications to not only stabilize HIV but reduce it in your blood to an undetectable and untransmitable level. Just what Magic Johnson is doing. What else? I'm broke, as usual. Somebody who really wanted to send me money set up my paypal account -- lararoxx@yahoo.com."

Luke: "How does your boyfriend deal with you being HIV-positive and you being a famous porn star?"

Lara: "We don't talk about it. He found out on his own. He didn't try to confront me about it. I know he found out because I know how to go on his history on his computer. He did a Google search on my medication. He's trying to make me say it. When he sees that I don't want to talk about it, he doesn't force me.

"He's 36. In his life, he's gone with about 50 - 100 girls but only had sex without a condom with one. It's not even an option. If it did come to -- let's do it without the condom -- I would have to say it.

"I don't hide to take my medication.

"He's Lebanese. I eat healthy with him."

Luke: "Is he HIV-positive?"

Lara: "No. I think he might have something else, which he doesn't want to talk about."

Luke: "What about your music, your rap?"

Lara: "I put that project on hold. I can't decide which producer I want to work with.

"I don't have time to party. I need to pay my expenses. My HIV-medication costs $1,000 a month."

Luke: "How have you changed since you got into the industry and now?"

Lara: "It took me a long time to come back to my initial confidence in myself, but I'm less superficial. I used to live for my nails and my tan. I'm more interested in stuff like politics and religion and stuff going on around me and not just me, me, me."

Luke: "Have you become religious?"

Lara: "Not really, but I understand religion better and I want to learn more.

"My father's Jewish. My mother's Christian. I've always been interested in the differences. My father's an Arab Jew, and Arab Jews and Arab Muslims hate each other. Israel is invading all kinds of countries and the Americans are selling them weapons and they have no interest in peace. It makes me want to do something."

"I've never been close to my mom but that's changing slowly. She used to be open-minded. Now she's close-minded, not about me and diseases, but about political and religious opinions. She's on one side and I'm on the other."

Luke: "Did you lose any friends after testing HIV-positive?"

Lara: "Two guys who thought that I wanted them so bad that if I saw them, I would try to rape them. They cut contact with me. Remember that one boyfriend I went to court over because I didn't tell him until a few months into the relationship?

"Some of my friends have made it a point to drink out of the same glass as me."

Luke: "Do you feel sexy and desirable?"

Lara: "Yes. Why? You don't think I'm sexy?"

Luke: "No."

Lara: "I'm even sexier and more desirable."



LIB

She needs to tell the guy before she fucks him. That's just