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#189700 - 09/02/06 02:18 PM
Donkey Punch in review by: Something Awful
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ADT regular
Registered: 09/02/06
Posts: 3
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Donkey Punch in review by: Something Awful I'll leave you with some quotes from the review. Quote:
For years I thought Islamic fundamentalists were crazy. I thought, sure, Western culture is decadent - guilty as charged, Al Buzkil - but it's nothing worth getting so worked up you start cutting people's heads off over it. Donkey Punch reminds me of the meaning of Allahu Ackbar. It means "God is great," and the existence of a movie like Donkey Punch is pretty damning proof that God really isn't so great after all. Proving God is great in the face of that sort of convincing evidence is the sort of thing that requires a holy war. So the next time you see some Al Qaeda video out of Iraq with a bunch of excited dudes screaming "Allahu Ackbar!" while they try to blow up Humvees, remember that America's armed forces are just caught in a war between Islamic fundamentalists and Grip and Cram Johnson, producers of Donkey Punch.
Quote:
I have seen more physically disgusting pornographic movies than this one. Anything involving scat play automatically wins that sort of competition and, jizz crapping aside, Donkey Punch does not get that gross. It is, however, one of the most morally repugnant pornographic movies I have seen. It's even worse than the fake snuff porn I have seen, because those were pure simulation, this is tinged with reality. Donkey Punch is the sort of movie that the government would cite when trying to arrest pornographers and outlaw pornography. It's the sort of case the ACLU would take and then mention in the same sentence as the time they defended the freedom of speech of the KKK. It simulates violence against women with a very believable and uncomfortable pantomime. As for the most horrible moment, it would definitely be Alex Divine's "I'm getting more than I signed up for" thrashing. That was genuine distress and not the sort of thing I'm comfortable with.
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#189703 - 09/02/06 04:38 PM
Re: Donkey Punch in review by: Something Awful
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 9195
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Quote:
Quote:
It is, however, one of the most morally repugnant pornographic movies I have seen.
If this "review" were 500 words, it would be 450 words longer than it should be. Who writes so much and says so little?
Anyway, DP has nothing that the roughies that came out of The Deuce in the 1970s didn't have. Anyone ever seen Shaun Costello's Waterpower?
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#189704 - 09/02/06 05:08 PM
Re: Donkey Punch in review by: Something Awful
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Rob Black's Crack Pipe
Registered: 08/12/06
Posts: 76
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Donkey Punch was great except for the bits that Alex Divine Fucked up.
I had wished that Deja had worked with Alex Sanders for a hotter sex scene, and Let Alex "divine" fuck with Steve French, because she does nothing for me, the least she could do is get punched to make herself slightly useful.
Willie, where can I get these "Classics" of pornography that you seem to have an ecyclopedic knowledge of.
Willie D, the man who knows what good is.
_________________________
"This may hurt a little, but its something you'll get used to"
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#189705 - 09/02/06 05:32 PM
Re: Donkey Punch in review by: Something Awful
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Whoremaster
Registered: 10/21/05
Posts: 2710
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Let's not be too hard on Alex...her sacrifice allowed many great scientific and medical dicoveries to be made. Like 'getting punched in the back of the head can hurt' and things of that ilk. A future Nobel laureate, mark my words... 
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#189708 - 09/02/06 08:39 PM
Re: Donkey Punch in review by: Something Awful
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AC Cream Wannabe
Registered: 11/01/05
Posts: 537
Loc: Holly Randall's garden
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Quote:
If this "review" were 500 words, it would be 450 words longer than it should be. Who writes so much and says so little?
Do you really have to ask?
  
Attachments
180758-3928 Patient With Wheelchair.jpg (10 downloads)
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#189709 - 09/02/06 09:45 PM
Re: Donkey Punch in review by: Something Awful
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Stormy's Lawyer
Registered: 09/02/06
Posts: 24
Loc: USA
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Donkey Punch is about freedom of speech and should be defended.
_________________________
A multitude of rulers is not a good thing. Let there be one ruler, one king.
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#189711 - 09/03/06 06:35 PM
Re: Donkey Punch in review by: Something Awful
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Human Garbage
Registered: 07/05/04
Posts: 1545
Loc: In the tree outside Gia Jordan...
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Who writes porno reviews... and why? Seriously, who the fuck is going out and buying some porno flick because it got a good review by some numb nuts with a firm handshake?
_________________________
If cum was concrete, Quasarman would have a four lane freeway going down his throat. - pariah
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#189713 - 09/04/06 03:13 AM
Re: Donkey Punch in review by: Something Awful
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ADT regular
Registered: 07/29/06
Posts: 17
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donkey punch= lame gimmick, ill be glad when people stop talking abuot this like its something special cause if youve seen it you know its not and its not thrilling exciting or hot , im sure punching girls in the head in real life is awesome but it just doesnt translate well onto film, theres little movement by the puncher or the punchee and little to no sound, you can see a girl get slapped in the face 10x harder in any porn and it looks a hell of a lot better.
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#189715 - 09/04/06 01:48 PM
Re: Donkey Punch in review by: Something Awful
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ADT regular
Registered: 06/11/06
Posts: 10
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Paul Reubens, You're a fucking moron. The only fat fucks that like "Donkey Punch" are fat, flabby, ugly morons who can't get a date so they have to watch a female being hit in the head on video. Work out, tone up, and get some pastic surgery or something... as soon as a woman actually shows your dumbass some fucking attention you'll likely stop liking movies where women are abused because you won't have built up hate for them. Or, maybe I'm wrong. Perhaps your mom just abused and raped you, so now you have a devout hate for them? That's probably it... or maybe both. Maybe your mom seen you was going to grow up to be a bastard, so she decided she might as well abuse you. This forum isn't filled full of "fags." It's filled full of fucking morons like you. Kill yourself - immediately.  Paul Reubens
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#189717 - 09/04/06 02:15 PM
Re: Donkey Punch in review by: Something Awful
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ADT regular
Registered: 06/11/06
Posts: 10
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I said what I set out to say...
If you like "Donkey Punch," you're either extremely ugly, or your mom abused you. Or both.
Which is it with you?
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#189718 - 09/04/06 02:22 PM
Re: Donkey Punch in review by: Something Awful
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 9195
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Quote:
Wow, you sure have a way with words. Look at this incredible display of wit:
"The only fat fucks that like "Donkey Punch" are fat,"
Wow, the only fat fucks that like something are fat. No shit? Dude, you're a fucking genius. Thanks a whole hell of a lot for that huge shitty post where you said nothing and made yourself look like an idiot.
Have a nice day.
Welcome back, you're one sick fuck. 
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#189722 - 09/04/06 02:33 PM
Re: Donkey Punch in review by: Something Awful
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Max Hardcore Prison Bitch
Registered: 12/11/05
Posts: 237
Loc: Outside the abortion clinic wi...
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#189724 - 09/04/06 02:48 PM
Re: Donkey Punch in review by: Something Awful
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ADT regular
Registered: 06/11/06
Posts: 10
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I wasn't defending anything, morons.
I was calling all if you psychotic ugly fucks for liking that shit... It's the only explaination.
You like seeing women get hit while being fucked. Think about it.
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#189725 - 09/04/06 02:55 PM
Re: Donkey Punch in review by: Something Awful
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
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Quote:
I wasn't defending anything, morons.
I was calling all if you psychotic ugly fucks for liking that shit... It's the only explaination.
You like seeing women get hit while being fucked. Think about it.
I wouldn't mind seeing you hit while being fucked
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#189726 - 09/04/06 02:57 PM
Re: Donkey Punch in review by: Something Awful
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ADT regular
Registered: 06/11/06
Posts: 10
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Of course you wouldn't...
Your into that shit - idiot.
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#189728 - 09/04/06 03:10 PM
Re: Donkey Punch in review by: Something Awful
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
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Quote:
Of course you wouldn't...
Your into that shit - idiot.
Admit it, you hate it because you wish it were you.
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#189729 - 09/04/06 04:18 PM
Re: Donkey Punch in review by: Something Awful
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 9195
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Quote:
The irony of you calling someone a moron when you consistently make spelling mistakes and grammatical errors is simply delightful.
Heh heh, those morans!
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#189730 - 09/04/06 11:31 PM
Re: Donkey Punch in review by: Something Awful
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Whoremaster
Registered: 10/21/05
Posts: 2710
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Quote:
Of course you wouldn't...
Your into that shit - idiot.
'You're' (abbreviated form of 'You are'), NOT 'your'.
'Your' indicates possession, such as 'Your I.Q. is below room temperature!'
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#189731 - 09/05/06 02:21 AM
Re: Donkey Punch in review by: Something Awful
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Rob Black's Crack Pipe
Registered: 08/12/06
Posts: 76
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Quote:
Of course you wouldn't...
Your into that shit - idiot.
Czar, ZcAR, Zar, what a clever soul you are.
I'm sure that you had no idea that coming on the XPT board and posting such comments would not garner such responses.
Would you agree that WOMEN control porn? Then you would also have to agree that:
Without WOMEN and their love of money this filth would not exist.
Without WOMEN and their laziness and outright refusal to get a real job this filth would not exist.
Without WOMEN DP would not have moves 20 units.
So why shouldn't we punch them on the back of the head whilst spilling seed in a place where the seed would find no purchase?
You see WOMEN are the real danger, they knowingly passed it off to us, the unknowing and faithful JM supporters knwoing full well that we would purchase it like always, while they laugh and point their fingers at threads like this. And bitch and complain about how they have been exploited after they have blown their $50 earnings on crystal and diet cola.
You have been brainwashed by their propaganda, and I hope that this response helps to put you back on the path of successful pornography watching, without the undue burden of guilt. You see the joke was on us the entire time. Women have a way of making us men see things with an askewed perspective, so that no matter what THEY do, we will always be cast as the bad guy.
But I do not condemn you my friend, I celebrate you on what you felt was the truth.
- T.S. Donkey Punch, Esquire
_________________________
"This may hurt a little, but its something you'll get used to"
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#189732 - 09/05/06 02:48 AM
Re: Donkey Punch in review by: Something Awful
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Rob Black's Crack Pipe
Registered: 08/12/06
Posts: 76
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It wasn't I in this film backing up the dirtiest of my places while accepting Donkey love. Nor was it you, nor anyone else on this board.
It was Haley Scott.
She reaped financial reward for her role in this mellodrama.
What did I get?
I got a sticky mess to clean up after first laying eyes on this atrocity, and a hungry belly at lunch time because I spent my last $29.95 + $7 Standard s/h on Haley Scott's latest film at Jerkoffzone
You tell me who the real victim is?
The little Donkey Boy who will have to go to bed hungry for the rest of the week, or the fast living porn harlot Haley Scott who has a rusty brown cash machine for an asshole. I bet she doesn't even think twice about what she has done to my life, or the tens of hundreds of fans she has used to fund her high dollar lifestyle.
-T.S Donkey Punch, Esquire
_________________________
"This may hurt a little, but its something you'll get used to"
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#189733 - 09/05/06 09:56 AM
Re: Donkey Punch in review by: Something Awful
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Rob Black's Crack Pipe
Registered: 12/06/04
Posts: 82
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Quote:
Who writes porno reviews... and why? Seriously, who the fuck is going out and buying some porno flick because it got a good review by some numb nuts with a firm handshake?
I started writing them because I preferred getting paid $15 each to watch videos instead of paying out my own money to buy or rent them.
--t
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