For the past few months, I've been watching the 'Newlyweds' show on MTV.

I've also cancelled my DISH-TV subscription to porn.

Are these two incidences related?

I say they are.

Yes, you people in porn will castrate me for this, but it's become very, very clear that Sexually Transimitted Diseases are of little importance to you, except for AIDS.

It's wonderful to watch a couple that is married that cares about each other as much as Jessica and Nick do as they go through their lives, honestly, without attempting to cover up their problems with 'retiring' or 'leaving the industry'.

It's also wonderful to see a REAL MAN, that being NICK LACHEY, who cares so much about his WIFE as to let her be her, only stepping in when she is about to hurt herself.

I recently talked to a 15 year old girl, whom I HAVE NOT slept with, who had some interesting things to say about the state of the porn industry.

Outsider: Would you rather date a porn guy, or date a guy like Nick Lachey?

15 year old girl: Well, a porn guy might give me an STD, right? I mean, they only test for AIDS, right? And all the other stuff, couldn't I get that?

Outsider: Yeah, you could get that.

15 year old girl: And they only test for AIDS once a month, right?

Outsider: That seems to be correct.

15 year old girl: Well, I think I'd rather date a guy who lets me say something stupid, but stops me from DOING something stupid, ya know?

Outsider: You give me hope, young lady.

15 year old girl: Jenna Jameson is so over, anyways. She looks like she's 90, and she's prolly got about a zillion STD's, right?

Outsider: I don't know if that's true. In the porn industry, no one has STD's. They just mysteriously 'retire' after a few films.

15 year old girl: Well, I think I'd rather say silly stuff that I can learn from than end up taking 29 million pills to prevent or get rid of stuff I never should have gotten in the first place.

Outsider: So then...

15 year old girl: I'd rather date a guy like Nick than go into porn.

Yes, that's a real converation that I had with a 15 year old girl that I have not yet slept with.

Is the word getting out about the stupidity of STD testing in the porn industry?

I'd say it is.

Looks like you guys are going to have to either be just a bit more honest...

...or these girls are going to dump your asses...

...for good guys like Nick Lachey.

And guess what?

I wouldn't blame them.

Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey are what America can be at it's best.

The Outsider happens to think that what goes around, comes around.

And what's coming around is this:

Girls, even at age 15, are wising up to your assinine 'testing' procedures.

And this good man, who also happens to be married to a woman as lovely as Jessica Simpson...

...is helping them.

So either change your stupid assed procedures...

...or I will make SURE that I educate your younger, upcoming 'actresses' about what they will face.

Fuck you and your rants about how impossible this is.

Nothing is impossible, you fucks.

Especially when it comes to the future of a 15 year old girl.

The Outsider