Last night some phriends and I went to one of the local whore houses....I mean strip club..here in sunny Columbus.
After a few beers and a few boring hours, I decide to stir up some shit. This decision is made easier by the fact that I hate the owner of the club because he takes new girls back to his house and gets them drunk or drugged up and then rapes them. Sad part is the little whores are so young and, or stupid they dont even realize that they have been taken advantage of. Anyway, I have this stinky little cum hole do a few lap dances for me and I get a massive boner! I arrange it in my pants so it is sticking straight out like a tent pole! I begin to walk around the club with this big hard on, I even go up to the stage a couple of times to tip the dancers! All of the girls are laughing thier asses off, most of the other patrons are cracking up also, as I am pretending that nothing is going on. All the sudden one of the "No Neck Marine Corp Rejects" that works there comes up to me and tells me to "Rearrange my furniture or get the fuck out!" When I asked him if he was referring to my "Love Seat" he became very upset. I asked him if he was intimidated by my size since all those steroids shrank his and he said "That's it youre outta here!" and proceded to grab me in a head lock while about three or four other 'No Necks" grabbed me and threw me out. I went back inside and demanded my money that I paid to get in be returned! After all is that not what strip clubs are supposed to do? Give guys boners? Right? I was'nt even argueing or fighting them but they felt compelled to snatch me up again and throw me out and also take a couple of cheap shots on me. Now I have a black eye, bruised ribs and a sore neck. As for my phriends I invited them to stay completely out of it because I had it under control. Big mistake! They stayed completely out of it because they thought I had it under control and that getting my ass handed to me was part of the plan. What is the world comeing to when a guy gets tossed out of a strip club for paying the girls that work there the biggest compliment a guy can give!
PHATBOY.
P.S. I think I'll go back again tonight!

what hypocrites! strip club = boner haven. before you go in tonight pitch a tent in your pants and let us know wha happon'd

Having watched so much porn in my life, I no longer get boners at a strip club. Wal-Mart, however, that's a different story.

so Phatboy, did you go back to the club ore didja pussy out?

I went back two nights later. All the girls felt really bad and the owner actually came over and apologized to me and said that he had heard what happened and if there was any doctor bills or anything he could do, let him know and he would take care of it. I told him that I wanted a free pass for St. Patrics day and to be sure to have some green beer. He told me to consider it done, gave me the pass and all is well again.
PHATBOY.
P.S. To show my gratitude I will get drunk and throw up green beer all over the club this Wednesday.

Anyone that believes this rubbish should be shaved, glued , feathered and frog marched to their own firing squad.