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I also think this insecurity is to blame for your habit of shutting people out. You do this not because it's what you truly feel like doing, but because you think it gives you a little more depth and an added mystique that other girls may not possess. You want to be wanted (like all girls), but for whatever reason you feel you have to go the aloof, tortured-soul route in order to get others longing for you. Would I be correct?
Actually, in this sense, you're not correct. I have always shut people out-- ever since I was a little girl. I don't do it intentionally, in fact I wish I wasn't so emotionally distant. I simply cannot help it.
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I really try to retain a respectful distance from my models, even when I'm lubing up their pussies.