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A) Gia I love you. Too funny. The question is, will you paint MY house? In cut off shorts and a wet tank top? I will give you a six pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon in return. It is an offer you cannot refuse, and you know it.



You should see me in a wife beater. Forget the beer; just let me skinny dip in that oasis pond at the Randall Estate afterwards. Join me.

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B) I wish I could start a book on hideous porn girls that agents email to me. Sometimes I have to break down into hysterical peals of laughter over some of the incredibly ugly girls and guys I get sent to my mailbox. If anything, it makes me feel better about myself. And we all know how wrong that is.



Same here, Holly. I have voice mails saved. The best one goes like, "Well, let's see...I'm 5'4" and 180lbs. Not too big, not too small, but just right...I just wanna do g/g right now..." all while a baby is heard crying in the background.
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"What I do know is that if Karen Carpenter and Mama Cass Elliot had shared that sandwich they'd both be alive today." -Michael K