It's time for a revolution.

We're going to let gays get married, whether Karl Rove approves of it or not. And I happen to think it's a great thing. More happy people that can publicly proclaim their love, the better. Besides, isn't it better to let people be happy than to endure more angry people on the freeways, attempting to kill each other? Of course it is. Let's let the gays get married, for God sake. In my heart, I know that God is not against this. It's simply a part of religion that's been perverted to ostracize people. By the way, please go see 'The Passion of the Christ'- and bring a ton of tissue. I cried about 700 times. And no, it's not fucking anti-semetic. All you over amped Jews need to calm the fuck down. It's just a great story, really well told, and no, we don't hold any of you current Jews responsible. However, if you keep making a stink, we may have to throw ham at you. Chill out, folks.

But that's not really my rant.

My rant is this:

Now that we are allowing gays the freedom to be gay, can the straight males now get back to being straight?

For the last 5 years, we've all been shaving and waxing our chests, asses, and legs. I think we've been doing this to 'fit in'. We've all been feeling the pressure to look gay, I think.

But I don't think we need to do this any more.

Now that we're letting gays be gay, I think it's time we let straight men be straight men.

Therefore, I am calling for the straight men in porn to stop shaving and waxing.

I've let my chest hair grow out, and I've stopped trimming my legs. And I have to tell you something...

...the girls my wife and I have been seeing happen to like it.

Yes, to my surprise, they find my hair soft, comfortable, and- one of them called it- 'plush'.

So please don't think you have to look gay any more, all you straight male porn actors. The tide is turning.

It's time to let gays be gays...

...and to let straights be straights.

Body hair, it turns out, ain't so bad after all.

Some women- and girls- actually find it sexy.

Just not on Ron Jeremy.

The Outsider