I can't say I agree with the 'DP's aren't Gay' statement.

I say they are.

Or at least, bi.

Whatever they are, they don't get me off.

In the last few movies I watched before I pulled the plug on all the stuff you guys make, I was so revolted by the time I got to the token girl-girl-guy scene that I had to turn back to CNN.

At least there aren't any closeups of men touching dicks on CNN yet.

When that happens, I guess I'll have to start watching 'Extreme Home Makeover' with my wife.

Argh.

Is it wrong to think there's a conspiracy going on here?

Are there gay, or bisexual men running these porn companies?

I mean, aren't most of these guys usually ex-cons, that enjoyed prison?

And don't ya get boofed in da butt in prison?

I sure as fuck know that's why I don't do illegal shit.

Ain't no fucking way I'll ever go to prison.

What about that Dion dude?

Was he bi or gay? He was in prison.

Maybe it's a butt pirate from prison conspiracy?

I guess I just assume that if a dude don't mind going to jail more than once, he's probably diggin' the dudes...

Funny thing is, girls are dating dudes that are gay or bi at the moment. It's all the rage. That is, until they find out that the dude they're dating is sticking his dick in every dude from here to George Michael's bathroom. Then they get second thoughts.

"Hey, can I get AIDS from him?"

...and...

"How come he doesn't pay much attention to me?"

"Why does he want me to have sex with other men?"

"Why does he beat me?"

Even these girls will figure it out soon. At the moment, they still think gay or bi dudes just mean getting more dick. They'll learn.

There's still a very valuable service we strictly straight men provide.

I guess it's just a miserable phase that they, and the rest of the country, will have to grow out of.

Oddly enough, I actually support Gay Marriage.

For crying out loud, let's please let them marry.

Maybe that way, they'll stop putting so much pressure on us straight ones to try being gay, or bi.

Maybe then they'll chill out, and stop trying to sell straight dudes porn that is obviously NOT STRAIGHT.

The Outsider