home one summer friday night, i did what sixteen year olds do--get retardedly drunk at some other kid's house and get an unsatisfactory handjob from keith o'connor. the last part's not true, but details are fuzzy.

anyhow, go home late enough to stumble in undetected and pass out.

around 6am, my disgustingly-pregnant bladder yells fire! and i just go to the window instead of walking fifteen feet to try to figure out the complexity of a bathroom's operation and just take a whizz and fall back to sleep.

three minutes later, my dad's banging on the door of the au pair suite(not fancy, just sounds like it and ruled to have when you were of the age seperation from old people by something as simple as a bunch of doors was desirable)

i stumble down, he's dressed for golf and he's just like "DID YOU JUST PISS OUT THE WINDOW? STOP! YOU ALMOST PISSED ON ME AND YOU HIT THE HOOD OF MY CAR!"

so david/applesaucer, would you have rented that?