Considering how the world works- if there was a disease that made things better, the government would tax the shit out of you once you contracted this virus- or you'd probably end up getting mugged and killed. In the long run- it would end up being unfortunate contracting this disease.

Trust me- people will fsck anything up!
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I hit her with the hammer on top of the head. She made a lot of noise and kept on making noise, so I hit her again.