After watching the newest mega-hit, WB's 'The Surreal Life', I've come to a few conclusions about Ron Jeremy.

It seems there are two of them.

There is the Ron Jeremy who knows how to be a gentleman when being interviewed...and then there is the Ron Jeremy who is a two-faced sack of shit, hitting on a girl who has a fiance, after speaking with him on the telephone.

I don't know about you guys, but I know a lot of girls like Tracy Bingham. They boast about how 'crazy' they are, and how they love to take off their clothes. Any guy who's actually had Relationships with women knows that most of the time, this is bullshit.

It's pretty apparent why Mr. Jeremy is still single.

He is completely clueless as to how women think, feel, and operate. Just because you have a big dick, don't mean you understand women.

From his constant, pathetic groping of the two girls on the show, it isn't hard to see why Ginger Lynn accused him of rape. The guy simply doesn't know when to back off.

Yes, I've seen his documentary, and yes, Mr. Jeremy fooled me, too.

He also fooled Tammy Faye, who has turned out to be one of the two most likable people on the show.

Erik Estrada is nice. Tracielle is cute, but talentless, and I have no idea why she's on the show. Tracy is another story. It seems she's actually trying to keep her relationship going with her fiance, as Mr. Jeremy keeps groping and groping and groping.

The star of the show, in my opinion, has turned out to be Mr. Rob Van Winkle, who is better known as Vanilla Ice.

Thus far, Mr. Van Winkle has turned down the advances of the slutty Tracielle, openly telling her about his wife and children. He also befriended the very sweet Tammy Faye, and was sincerely touched by Tammy's words at her book signing.

I thought his sincerity uplifting.

On the last show, he even let down his guard a bit, and sang his classic tune at a karaoke bar. The guy still has boatloads of talent, and I'm sure he'll be a huge star again very soon.

But what was most impressive about Mr. Van Winkle was his respect for women. Women dig men who know how to treat them, and I'm sure women across America are noticing.

I feel a certain kinship with Mr. Van Winkle. And, as you know, my wife and I have been married almost ten years. Of course, since we have girlfriends, we are a bit different than Mr. Van Winkle and his wife, but nonetheless, we both deeply respect and love women.

I have no idea, however, where Ron Jeremy is coming from.

He's making porn look bad, and making an ass out of himself.

Will the real Ron Jeremy please stand up.

Is he the responsible, sober, respectful adult film star...

...or is he just a fat, hairy rapist?

He may be both.

Maybe Ginger Lynn was telling the truth.

Either way, Mr. Jeremy could sure use some schooling from Mr. Van Winkle about how to treat women.

Stay tuned for the re-emergence of an old star, and the fall of an old one.

Vanilla Ice will rise again, while Ron Jeremy falls to the gutter. And who's to say what will become of Tammy Faye? I found her sympathetic treatment of gays to be wonderful. What a sweetheart.

The Outsider