I don't know that she would have me...but as far as reasons? Let's see.

1.) I'm not a judgemental prick who treats adult film actresses like diseased and disgraced orifices who are here for our wanking pleasure and verbal abuse, as some do.

2.) I think porn OK, but at the same time I haven't actually bought/rented a porn film since before Kelly started doing movies. Just never had the need.

3.) I don't give a shit what narrowminded people think, and if I do date an adult actress and someone gives her a hard time, I mock them openly.

4.) I'm far from a "tard" - I actually have several years of graduate school, a few degrees, and am pretty acclaimed in my field, which is not porn but does have something marginally to do with porn.

5.) I seem to do OK with women. I was raised by women, and every break-up I've had has been amicable. Many of my girlfriends are still friends of mine, and there have been some instances where we hooked up and reunited down the road.

6.) I actually remember birthdays and send flowers. I'm a nice guy but not a wimp. I read as many sex ed books as I could when I was a kid, and I was talking my girlfriends into anal sex - which they actually still say they enjoyed because we did it right - back in the mid-80s, when many of my friends couldn't get any of that.

Does any of this matter for shit? Nah. Kelly likes who she likes, and as I said SHE PROBABLY HAS A BOYFRIEND. I just think she's the most adorable woman to come down the pike in a long time, and so I wanted to praise her accordingly.

Sorry if that conflicts with anyone's take on these girls as addicted, diseased cum dumpsters worthy solely of our scorn. Remember to use Lubriderm or your penis will get honeymoon burn, professional wankers. And keep saving up...one day those hookers on the corner won't point and laugh at you .