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#165569 - 05/07/06 06:28 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Ed Hardy Wearing Loser
Registered: 05/07/06
Posts: 35
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That's rude, man! Kelly denies that she does meth and I honestly doubt she does meth. She just seems really into her work and a nice girl. Unless you can prove shit like that, don't accuse someone! It's not cool!
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#165570 - 05/07/06 06:35 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/26/03
Posts: 8160
Loc: Roma, Repubblica Italiana
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#165571 - 05/07/06 07:00 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Ed Hardy Wearing Loser
Registered: 05/07/06
Posts: 35
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Kelly has said she's escorted, true...but I don't buy the meth rumors. Sorry. And I'd still marry her if she was an addict, in the hope I could help her. She's incredible!
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#165572 - 05/07/06 07:27 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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aka Gen Padova
Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/20/03
Posts: 4517
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Quote:
Kelly has said she's escorted, true...but I don't buy the meth rumors. Sorry. And I'd still marry her if she was an addict, in the hope I could help her. She's incredible!
(she is a smart, nice girl... it'd be heart breaking that she'd fuck strangers for rocks and powder)
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#165574 - 05/07/06 07:35 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Ed Hardy Wearing Loser
Registered: 05/07/06
Posts: 35
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I agree totally that she's a smart, nice girl, Gen...you're pretty cool yourself, and I'm glad you're feeling better. I've never gotten the sense that Kelly does meth, ever. We've spoken a few times and I've always gotten the sense she's a smart, artistic girl with a good head for business and a sense of her self-worth in this industry. I see her ability to be sexually extreme as sort of equal to a stuntman or stuntwoman...she knows that is worth more money and, as she enjoys her job, is willing to go further than most. It's sad how some people equate a slim body and extreme behavior with meth use. As far as I can see, it's bullshit rumors like when they said she was dating Skeeter (although I do think she has a boyfriend, sadly). But as for me, I'd marry her in a second, man. (And Gen, I always also kind of crushed on you...not as much as Kel, but you're a brave, funny gal.) Odd in a business like this that one can have secret admirers, no?  
And as far as:
Kelly is good, but you might want to make sure she fucks the same way privately that she does in porn. The irony would be hilarious if she was privately a lights-out, missionary only, and under three blankets type of girl.
I wouldn't be surprised if she's a lot quieter and a hell of a lot more romantic. That's the impression I've gotten when we just shot the shit on the occasions we did...which I find oddly even more attractive. She's a nice girl who does extreme sex for a living. Hell, I'd marry her. Seriously.
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#165575 - 05/07/06 07:53 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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aka Gen Padova
Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/20/03
Posts: 4517
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It's because chances are the ill skinny who can take a merciless plunging usually are intoxicated somehow or another. But that doesn't mean there's some out there who don't do the same completely sober. While I did my anal stuff sober, I wouldn't say any of it was merciless plunging... actually none of it ever amounts to a lot of the hardcore stunt girls today. But damn, giving up any poo-hole is what they wanna do, by God go for it.  I still think Gia has the best one so far. No offense to Kelly at all.
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#165577 - 05/07/06 09:05 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Ed Hardy Wearing Loser
Registered: 05/07/06
Posts: 35
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I disagree. I think Kelly's great - a really cool person and probably the greatest adult actress to come along in a long time. And I am not exaggerating in the slightest - I totally crush on her everytime we talk and I totally would marry her. Being kind to someone and expressing affection and attraction is not a waste of space. Don't like it? Look somewhere else...
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#165581 - 05/07/06 09:34 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Ed Hardy Wearing Loser
Registered: 05/07/06
Posts: 35
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 Willie D. --- Monkey Man/The Rolling Stones I’m a fleabit peanut monkey All my friends are junkies That’s not really true I’m a cold italian pizza I could use a lemon squeezer What you do? But I’ve been bit and I’ve been tossed around By every she-rat in this town Have you, babe, too? Well, I am just a monkey man I’m glad you are a monkey woman too I was bitten by a boar I was gouged and I was gored But I pulled on through Yes, I’m a sack of broken eggs I always have an unmade bed Don’t you? Well, I hope we’re not too messianic Or a trifle too satanic We love to play the blues Well I am just a monkey man I’m glad you are a monkey, monkey woman too, babe I’m a monkey I’m a monkey I’m a monkey man I’m a monkey man I’m a monkey... Kelly Wells Rocks!
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#165583 - 05/07/06 09:44 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Ed Hardy Wearing Loser
Registered: 05/07/06
Posts: 35
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Ok...explain to me why there is this double standard where guys can do whatever we want to as many women as we want - and yeah, I've been around - but a woman can't? Yeah, I'd marry Kelly and NOT look down on her for stuff she did, whether for pleasure or work. She's been tested and so have her partners - whereas I didn't have to have an HIV test before every woman I slept with. So who's more questionable? A porn star who had what we consider "extreme" sex in a controlled environment or those of us out there just having sex. I don't hold my girlfriend's past partners against them, just as I hope they don't hold mine against me. I'm also secure enough to know they're with me because they want to be with me, and whatever they did in the past - or do at work - is something else altogether. Quit treating actresses like they're something to look down on. That's like asking whether you'd date Angelina Jolie after she kissed Brad Pitt in a movie...it was a job. I think Kelly's great as a person and I totally crush on her.
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#165585 - 05/07/06 09:56 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Ed Hardy Wearing Loser
Registered: 05/07/06
Posts: 35
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Nope. Just a friend. We shoot the shit every now and again. Clever use of that Starbucks metaphor, though...the old "extra cream" pun for semen hasn't been used, like, a thousand times, has it? And actually, I just broke up with someone - not Kelly - but have crushed on her for a while. Of course, you're on here as a brief respite from all the women beating down your door, n'est pas?
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#165587 - 05/07/06 10:10 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Human Garbage
Registered: 09/13/05
Posts: 1594
Loc: The "Phlogbox", apparently.
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Quote:
Ok...explain to me why there is this double standard where guys can do whatever we want to as many women as we want - and yeah, I've been around - but a woman can't?
It probably has something to do with th eprospect of being a knocked-up single mom with a bastard child. Watch an episode of Maury Povich and see what happens when these women have to DNA test an entire Marine batallion to find out who the father is.
This is also one of the few double standards that works in favor of men, so don't fuck it up. By my tally:
Women over men:
Hiring quotas, sexual harassment lawsuits, custody disputes, selective service registration, and a million other things.
Men over women:
Okay to be promiscuous.
Also: If you hang out with her...ask her out! Do it! Now!
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#165588 - 05/07/06 10:13 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Ed Hardy Wearing Loser
Registered: 05/07/06
Posts: 35
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Dude, I doubt if marriage would ever happen. She'd probably shoot me down, and also she has a boyfriend, I think. But I just felt the need to get on here and probably make an ass of myself by letting her know she has a secret admirer, something which was most in style in 4th grade on Valentine's Day.
Why be afraid? Why is a porn star more suspect than any woman you date? That woman you meet on MySpace could easily have AIDS - and is less likely to have been tested - while an adult actress not only has been tested, they are probably safer and probably more open to discussing matters emotional and sexual. It's just the stigma some of you have, where you'll wank to them but not love them. I feel sorry for that poor woman in Kentucky who got fired from teaching because she used to do porn. How pathetic the town and principal was for that! Fact is, if people judge someone that way, I look down on THEM, not the person they judge.
Kelly is a smart, sweet, quiet and nice girl. She just has sex on screen as an actress. It makes her money. She seems to me to be responsible, stable, punctual and professional. And yeah, I'd love her/marry her/do her/impregnate her and introduce her to the folks.
I think most all actresses are deserving of the same courtesy.
One more thing to the guy arguing about pregnancy and fatherhood...I know a graduate student here who just found out she was pregnant. She has NO IDEA who the father is because she pulled two trains at two different parties two days apart. She's no porn star. She just got drunk and got busy. I'd suspect adult actresses are a lot more careful about birth control than your average party girl.
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#165591 - 05/07/06 10:32 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Ed Hardy Wearing Loser
Registered: 05/07/06
Posts: 35
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Again, who's to say the girl you pick up in a bar doesn't have a history where she dated a guy with a horsecock who could go for hours? Chances are, even if you're above average, some of your lovers have had bigger. So you have to be better. And I doubt the way porn is filmed - lighting, changing in positions, awkward scenarios - that the sex is always as great as it seems. Remember, some of it is ACTING. I had a fling with one adult actress whom I know did one of the biggest cocks in the business...she was still VERY tight and she was nothing in bed like she was in the movies...which was actually nice. Insecurity prevents us from doing a lot of things we should. And before you say, yeah, well why not ask out Kelly...cause I'm 90 percent sure she's taken. If I knew she was single, I'd try in a minute, hoss, rejection or no.
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#165593 - 05/07/06 10:40 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Ed Hardy Wearing Loser
Registered: 05/07/06
Posts: 35
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For another example, I find Gen Padova quite sexy because she's funny, self-deprecating (with no cause to be) and brave for fighting cancer, even in the face of some people making ignorant comments about her during it. I lost some family to cancer and I totally admire Gen for being such a cool, fun lady having faced that shit at such a young age.
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#165594 - 05/07/06 10:48 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 9195
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Quote:
Willie D. ---
I know that's you, Smiling Arab. Hamilton Steele my Irish ass.
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#165595 - 05/07/06 10:50 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Ed Hardy Wearing Loser
Registered: 05/07/06
Posts: 35
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Nope. Call me Doc. You ain't never seen the likes of me around these parts before, Willie D.
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#165596 - 05/07/06 10:50 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Human Garbage
Registered: 09/13/05
Posts: 1594
Loc: The "Phlogbox", apparently.
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Quote:
One more thing to the guy arguing about pregnancy and fatherhood...I know a graduate student here who just found out she was pregnant. She has NO IDEA who the father is because she pulled two trains at two different parties two days apart. She's no porn star. She just got drunk and got busy. I'd suspect adult actresses are a lot more careful about birth control than your average party girl.
I'd like to believe that. It's intuitive, but you need to take into account the following factors:
1.) 
2.) 
3.) 
Unfortunately for you, Kelly probably thinks of you as a friend, which dramatically drops your chances of getting to bang her. Study your Tom Leykis, dude.
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#165597 - 05/07/06 10:54 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Rob Black's Crack Pipe
Registered: 02/13/06
Posts: 56
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Quote:
A lot of girls in the biz are tiny. Majority of guys aren't all too big, maybe length wise but with a tiny frame and an average dick makes the average dick look slightly larger. Of course there's the handful of guys who are larger than the average but they're certainly not the common. Those uncommon tend to be more popular due to its rarity.
Also... stereotypes never get the ignorant very far. Oh well.
I did not know a lot of porn girls were tiny. I haven't been to a convention yet so I don't know what they look like in person.
By the way, are you saying I'm ignorant, Gen? I hope that wasn't a shot at me. I think I am very open-minded.
By the way Gen, what is up with your avatar? It is always something gruesome.
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#165598 - 05/07/06 10:54 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Ed Hardy Wearing Loser
Registered: 05/07/06
Posts: 35
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Dude, what part of "I think she has a boyfriend" did you not catch? I just felt like saying I liked her. And as far as Tom Leykis, some of us have parlayed "friend" into a lot more. Just depends on whether you let yourself be neutered or not. I got attacked one night by a girl "friend" who'd kept me as a standby for years, as soon as I started showing strong interest in someone else. The paradigm is constantly shifting, my friend. And I don't know what Kelly considers me as...as I said, I think she's taken, and I think she prefers black men. I could be wrong, but I just think she's cute and cool. Hence, I wanted her to know in a very Joanna Angel digs James Deen kind of way.
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#165601 - 05/07/06 11:17 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Ed Hardy Wearing Loser
Registered: 05/07/06
Posts: 35
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I don't know that she would have me...but as far as reasons? Let's see. 1.) I'm not a judgemental prick who treats adult film actresses like diseased and disgraced orifices who are here for our wanking pleasure and verbal abuse, as some do. 2.) I think porn OK, but at the same time I haven't actually bought/rented a porn film since before Kelly started doing movies. Just never had the need. 3.) I don't give a shit what narrowminded people think, and if I do date an adult actress and someone gives her a hard time, I mock them openly. 4.) I'm far from a "tard" - I actually have several years of graduate school, a few degrees, and am pretty acclaimed in my field, which is not porn but does have something marginally to do with porn. 5.) I seem to do OK with women. I was raised by women, and every break-up I've had has been amicable. Many of my girlfriends are still friends of mine, and there have been some instances where we hooked up and reunited down the road. 6.) I actually remember birthdays and send flowers. I'm a nice guy but not a wimp. I read as many sex ed books as I could when I was a kid, and I was talking my girlfriends into anal sex - which they actually still say they enjoyed because we did it right - back in the mid-80s, when many of my friends couldn't get any of that. Does any of this matter for shit? Nah. Kelly likes who she likes, and as I said SHE PROBABLY HAS A BOYFRIEND. I just think she's the most adorable woman to come down the pike in a long time, and so I wanted to praise her accordingly. Sorry if that conflicts with anyone's take on these girls as addicted, diseased cum dumpsters worthy solely of our scorn. Remember to use Lubriderm or your penis will get honeymoon burn, professional wankers. And keep saving up...one day those hookers on the corner won't point and laugh at you  .
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#165603 - 05/07/06 11:25 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Ed Hardy Wearing Loser
Registered: 05/07/06
Posts: 35
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Brilliant riposte, Willie! Wow, Jay Leno will be calling any second to hire you as a writer.
Wait, what am I saying? Jay Leno sucks and is unfunny. He might actually hire you.
And bans don't frighten me; one, I wasn't saying anything that bad, so a ban is damn silly...and two, I have a life, so I'll just go find other stuff to do.
(Like have sex with an actual female, something many around here evidently know nothing about.)
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#165605 - 05/07/06 11:36 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Human Garbage
Registered: 09/13/05
Posts: 1594
Loc: The "Phlogbox", apparently.
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Quote:
Dude, what part of "I think she has a boyfriend" did you not catch?
If you were serious about fucking her, that wouldn't matter.
Quote:
...and I think she prefers black men.
Ever see a minstrel show? You aren't out of options yet.
On the serious side: Why bother if her coalburner tendencies exclude you from getting up her ass? At least you know it's her and not you. You should move on, bro.
Earn some money, find some better slut, and have a good laugh ten years down the road when you're living well and she's used up her porn cash, her body has fallen to shit, and she's living off welfare wondering when her "Babies' Daddy be?"
Purely to offend the n00b, enjoy this educational and ultra politically incorrect cartoon:
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#165606 - 05/07/06 11:37 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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aka Gen Padova
Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/20/03
Posts: 4517
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Quote:
I did not know a lot of porn girls were tiny. I haven't been to a convention yet so I don't know what they look like in person.
By the way, are you saying I'm ignorant, Gen? I hope that wasn't a shot at me. I think I am very open-minded.
By the way Gen, what is up with your avatar? It is always something gruesome.
No, wasn't directed towards you. Just towards the general ig-nits that know they are ig-nit.
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#165607 - 05/07/06 11:37 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Ed Hardy Wearing Loser
Registered: 05/07/06
Posts: 35
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Definition of irony:
Guy steps in insulting a poster. Poster retorts and returns fire, mocking him openly by calling him a chronically celibate masturbator...which in this place is like making altar boy jokes at the Vatican. Guy then realizes he has stepped into the ring with the proverbial Muhammad Ali of insults and snaps. Guy then threatens to ban him.
Here's my theory: Y'all need to get laid for real. All this deep-seated anger toward women, and porn stars who provide your edification and enjoyment, is just pure misogyny and hatred brought on by the fact that in most cases, a woman's not touched your penis in decades. Get laid and a lot of that anger may dissipate.
In any case - in case I'm banned - Kelly, you rock. Hang in there, baby, and don't let the bastards grind you down.
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#165610 - 05/07/06 11:44 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Ed Hardy Wearing Loser
Registered: 05/07/06
Posts: 35
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Dude, what part of "I think she has a boyfriend" did you not catch? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If you were serious about fucking her, that wouldn't matter. I reply: Yeah, sorry...I have ethics. And I seriously doubt you've ever been in a place where you could steal a girl away from any guy... Quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ...and I think she prefers black men. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ever see a minstrel show? You aren't out of options yet. On the serious side: Why bother if her coalburner tendencies exclude you from getting up her ass? At least you know it's her and not you. You should move on, bro. Earn some money, find some better slut, and have a good laugh ten years down the road when you're living well and she's used up her porn cash, her body has fallen to shit, and she's living off welfare wondering when her "Babies' Daddy be?" Purely to offend the n00b, enjoy this educational and ultra politically incorrect cartoon: I reply: Cripes, how racist can you be, bozo? I say "I think she likes black guys" in the same way I would say "I like blondes" and you turn it into some R.Crumb cartoon assaulting every black person - and any white woman who dates them - with bullshit stereotypes. Join the 20th Century. Are bloodstains hard to get out of those white sheets, David Duke? 
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#165611 - 05/07/06 11:46 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Ed Hardy Wearing Loser
Registered: 05/07/06
Posts: 35
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You said I was banned, Willie, so I typed a reply to see if I was. It's like Norman Mailer said "A Democracy is a tyranny whose boundaries are undefined, and which can only be discovered by going as far as one can in a direction until stopped."
Norman Mailer, of course, is somebody you've probably never heard of.
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#165613 - 05/07/06 11:54 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Human Garbage
Registered: 09/13/05
Posts: 1594
Loc: The "Phlogbox", apparently.
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Quote:
I reply: Cripes, how racist can you be, bozo? I say "I think she likes black guys" in the same way I would say "I like blondes" and you turn it into some R.Crumb cartoon assaulting every black person - and any white woman who dates them - with bullshit stereotypes.
Join the 20th Century. Are bloodstains hard to get out of those white sheets, David Duke?
Yep...he's a PC White liberal. I vote for banning before he invites all his Rainbow Coalition, bongo-slapping, Prius-driving, Barbara Streisand-listening buddies to stink up the place. It's the "cockroach theory": if you see one, there are millions you don't see, so terminate with extreme prejudice.
Also: The 20th century ended a bit over six years ago. I'm kicking it in the 21st, spreading political incorrectness with every post. Run along before I do another pic defiling your precious little whore, who fucks anyone but YOU apparently.
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#165614 - 05/08/06 12:04 AM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 9195
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Quote:
You said I was banned, Willie, so I typed a reply to see if I was. It's like Norman Mailer said "A Democracy is a tyranny whose boundaries are undefined, and which can only be discovered by going as far as one can in a direction until stopped."
Norman Mailer, of course, is somebody you've probably never heard of.
By now you can't see this...but
Is this the first-ever stick fight in the Fan Section? 
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#165615 - 05/08/06 12:05 AM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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aka Gen Padova
Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/20/03
Posts: 4517
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#165619 - 05/08/06 12:41 AM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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aka Gen Padova
Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/20/03
Posts: 4517
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Quote:
Gen, you've turned off your "PM" function, so I'll say it in public...I want to father your children. I guarantee they will be light-haired, creative, multi-lingual leaders, and environmentally aware of the next generation. When you're ready...call me. 
Um... I can't have children because my birth control tells me so...whispers softly in my ear each day at noon. Would Kelly Wells be a worthy back up for you?
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#165622 - 05/08/06 12:50 AM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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aka Gen Padova
Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/20/03
Posts: 4517
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Quote:
Noooooooo.......   
I'd like some info on a whore from back in 2004.
The whore from 2004 is in the land of Titty CaCa. 
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#165630 - 05/08/06 01:26 AM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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aka Gen Padova
Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/20/03
Posts: 4517
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Quote:
Quote:
You Chicken Master have been missing lately... where ya been?
I needed a haircut and brisk walk, you know shooting the breeze with the criminally insane.
The hair getting out of hand like Charles Manson? But I hear ya. Nice to see you make a pit stop. Just don't disappear again without some damage.
Willie... I fear my demon spawns may grow larger than me in my womb after a 50 man creampie. I wouldn't wanna look like that dude in Mexico with an enlarged nut sack. Then I'd have stretch marks... that's like the end of a porn star gone prostitute for $1000 an hour with Pamela Peaks. I can't afford to be a 300$ an hour whore. While other whores need the green backs for their I need the benji's for my cancerous tumor (labotomy).  
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#165633 - 05/08/06 01:37 AM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 9195
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#165635 - 05/08/06 09:26 AM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/03/03
Posts: 5849
Loc: TX, USA
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It's probably cheaper to pay for her by the hour than pay for her after marriage. That's true of most women...
I've been out of town.
_________________________
"If they can't picture me with a knife, forcing them to strip in an alley, I don't want any part of it. It's humiliating." - windsock
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#165637 - 05/08/06 10:03 AM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Rob Black's Crack Pipe
Registered: 02/13/06
Posts: 56
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Quote:
I wish someone would explain to me wtf happened in this thread? 
Ask Gen she messed it up. lol, I'm only kidding.
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#165638 - 05/08/06 10:09 AM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Demon Spawn
Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 3178
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Quote:
Ask Gen she messed it up. lol, I'm only kidding.
What kind of name is freedomfighter? I bet you listen to Sarah McLachlan while you post.
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#165639 - 05/08/06 10:49 AM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Rob Black's Crack Pipe
Registered: 02/13/06
Posts: 56
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Quote:
Quote:
Ask Gen she messed it up. lol, I'm only kidding.
What kind of name is freedomfighter? I bet you listen to Sarah McLachlan while you post.
Like it? It is a cool name isn't it? Who the hell is Sarah Mclachlan?
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#165641 - 05/08/06 02:12 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Ed Hardy Wearing Loser
Registered: 05/07/06
Posts: 35
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Don't worry about me, man. I'm not the stalker type. I know a bit more about Kelly than many from conversations, but they couldn't get that out of me with leeches and branding irons.
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#165642 - 05/08/06 03:53 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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aka Gen Padova
Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/20/03
Posts: 4517
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Quote:
Quote:
I wish someone would explain to me wtf happened in this thread?
Ask Gen she messed it up. lol, I'm only kidding.
Nah... wasn't me this time. Willie D did it!!! *points finger* he did the banning and unbanning!!! And THEN we took over LOL. Sorry guys. We should get Kelly Wells to post here. I don't even know how to do that. 
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#165644 - 05/08/06 04:05 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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AC Cream Wannabe
Registered: 06/03/05
Posts: 429
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Im an admitted huge Kelly Wells fan...no doubt,she is phenominal on screen...would love to sit down with her and pick her brain a bit...but this "KellyWellsRocks" dude is trippin like a 5 year old with size 12 shoes...take it easy pardner...porn is porn, just like this is this.
_________________________
I'll cut off your ears, nose, lips, and I'll stab your fucking face, so for the rest of your life, you'll remember your mistakes
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#165648 - 05/08/06 04:13 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Ed Hardy Wearing Loser
Registered: 05/07/06
Posts: 35
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That's what it pretty much is. It's also what she knows is marketable and sells. A few months ago her fantasy was fucking Bishop Magic Don Juan when she was heavy into the interracial. Now it's the transgressive lesbian stuff, such as the Lesbian Bukkake. Behind that hype, trust me, is a cool girl who's smart, shy and funny...she just knows how to market herself as well as Muhammad Ali. Right, J?
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#165650 - 05/08/06 04:23 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 9195
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Quote:
SERPICO!!! You tryin to get me shot mister?!
You know which picture I'm talkin' about, Padover!
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#165651 - 05/08/06 04:25 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Ed Hardy Wearing Loser
Registered: 05/07/06
Posts: 35
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Kelly has it going on, man. Hear me now, believe me later. She is one of the shrewdest women in this business, and knows how to make money while being one of the best actresses around. She should have won Starlet of the Year.
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#165652 - 05/08/06 04:32 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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aka Gen Padova
Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/20/03
Posts: 4517
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Quote:
Quote:
SERPICO!!! You tryin to get me shot mister?!
You know which picture I'm talkin' about, Padover!
Of course I do!! It's the Italian "Serpico Wine" LOL
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#165654 - 05/08/06 04:49 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Ed Hardy Wearing Loser
Registered: 05/07/06
Posts: 35
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Actually, last I saw she was driving a black Ford Explorer or Suburban, with leather seats, IIRC. And she said it was hers. It was one of those gas-guzzling monsters.
And wasn't it Gia guesstimating Kelly could have made a half a million last year due to sheer number of scenes done?
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#165655 - 05/08/06 04:55 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Human Garbage
Registered: 09/13/05
Posts: 1594
Loc: The "Phlogbox", apparently.
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Quote:
Actually, last I saw she was driving a black Ford Explorer or Suburban, with leather seats, IIRC. And she said it was hers. It was one of those gas-guzzling monsters.
Did it have spinning rims?
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#165656 - 05/08/06 05:00 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Ed Hardy Wearing Loser
Registered: 05/07/06
Posts: 35
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Honestly? I can't recall. I was paying more attention to the girl than the ride.
Those ground effects always annoy the fuck out of me anyway. I have a Mustang my mechanic's idiot kid keeps telling me to trick out. Nah. Let excellence stand on its own.
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#165657 - 05/08/06 06:26 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 9195
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Quote:
ummm...she doesnt even own a car my friend, now you think she is Rockefeller.....wait let me guess, you think its so she can put all her money into CD's and money market accounts. i will come up with a comeback for you!
Dude! You gotta be joking...nobody puts liquidity into a time deposit unless the yield curve is inverted! 
Seriously, I checked the Blue Book value of a 1-year old Explorer with average condition/mileage/features, etc...trade in value of around $15M. And I think $500M is overstated, she did around 150 scenes, assume $1800 per defilement = around $270M. Still nice bank, but not a half mil.
Anyway, comparing the SUV to a whore's net worth, I performed the following "back of the envelope" assessment:
Trace elements in body: $7.25
Cash: $25.17
Black market value of corneas: $500 per.
Unconsumed meth: $54.90
Dignity: $0.00
Moral compass: $0.00
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#165658 - 05/08/06 06:35 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Ed Hardy Wearing Loser
Registered: 05/07/06
Posts: 35
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$15M?
Damn, Willie! So much for the Blue Book value on that sucker.
Also, a half million is not $500 mil it's .5 million. Or .270 million for $270,000.
And the value of any human being is priceless. Regardless of what they do.
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#165662 - 05/08/06 06:46 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 9195
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Quote:
willie, she doesnt have an explorer.....she has a driver from her agent. 
That sucks, man...what else could she pawn for
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#165663 - 05/08/06 06:48 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Ed Hardy Wearing Loser
Registered: 05/07/06
Posts: 35
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Thank you for the finance lesson Alan Greenspan..."M" is Latin for 1,000, $500M = $500,000, $500MM = $5,000,000.
Ah, Latin, Willie...well, here on Earth, in America, we use $500M for $500 million and $500K for $500,000.
Don't you know Latin's a dead language, Wildo? Hell, I use it in my profession and I knew that...
And the last I saw her, she had the Explorer. Could be agents send drivers to ensure the girls are safe, on time, whatever, or could be her S.O. had the vehicle.
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#165664 - 05/08/06 06:50 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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aka Gen Padova
Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/20/03
Posts: 4517
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Quote:
Quote:
willie, she doesnt have an explorer.....she has a driver from her agent.
That sucks, man...what else could she pawn for
Don't most celebrities have drivers too?
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#165665 - 05/08/06 06:53 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Ed Hardy Wearing Loser
Registered: 05/07/06
Posts: 35
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I think Gen should get a limo!
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#165667 - 05/08/06 06:56 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Ed Hardy Wearing Loser
Registered: 05/07/06
Posts: 35
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Dude, I am SO not Smiling Arab. I've never even posted here before until I signed on as KWR. Sorry. I don't even know who the fuck Smiling Arab is. And honestly, despite those who think I'm some PC liberal, friends of mine died in the WTC so, while I'm not prejudiced against Arabs, I sure as hell would not identify myself as one. It'd be in bad taste given my actual background.
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#165668 - 05/08/06 06:59 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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aka Gen Padova
Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/20/03
Posts: 4517
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Quote:
I think Gen should get a limo!
I like having control and driving the car. It's fun running old ladies off the road. I'd go out of my mind having to sit in the back of a limo because well... what would I do with myself? the fayner diet is not my forte. Maybe I can start a trend of snorting the contents in green tea bags for quicker results
Does Kelly Wells have a "$1M" Luis Vuitton bag?
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#165669 - 05/08/06 07:03 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Ed Hardy Wearing Loser
Registered: 05/07/06
Posts: 35
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Ah, but Gen, you can tell the driver to run old ladies off the road and escape blame. It's kind of like playing a "Death Race 3000" video game...
Fayner really kind of ruined that website. It was better when Martin Brimmer and Duke Floored ran it. These days it's like listening to one's naked, stoned neighbors who think they're funnier and hotter than they are. Some days it's cool, and Taylor is hot, but most days I just walk away thinking I've wasted 10 minutes I will never get back.
And there is something one can sniff that's a tea leaf of some sort which is legal and approaches cocaine effects. Damn if I can remember what, though. I just know people shouldn't eat morning glory seeds. Saw a kid nearly buy it from those.
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#165671 - 05/08/06 07:15 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Ed Hardy Wearing Loser
Registered: 05/07/06
Posts: 35
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Yep. Smoked nutmeg, tried morning glory seeds, and had a few try the autoerotic asphixiation "Michael Hutchence INXS RIP" method. I'm in my mid-30s and I get the impression the entire generation in their 20s are like the kids we used to hate partying with, because they'd do dumb shit, i.e. drink an entire case then run naked down the street to steal a stopsign, or ask "Hey, man, you holding?" in front of a cop.
Could just be I'm getting old.
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#165672 - 05/08/06 07:33 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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All right I am finished with this. No explanation and the banality goes on and on and on.
and on.
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#165673 - 05/08/06 07:40 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Ed Hardy Wearing Loser
Registered: 05/07/06
Posts: 35
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What's the difference between porn stars and XPT posters?
One has anal sex, and the other has banal intercourse.
What's the difference between a midget pickpocket and a venereal disease?
Well, one is a cunning runt and the other....
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#165674 - 05/08/06 07:56 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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aka Gen Padova
Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/20/03
Posts: 4517
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Quote:
What's the difference between porn stars and XPT posters?
One has anal sex, and the other has banal intercourse.
What's the difference between a midget pickpocket and a venereal disease?
Well, one is a cunning runt and the other....
... rotting cunt? They have VD.
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#165675 - 05/08/06 07:58 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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Quote:
One has anal sex, and the other has banal intercourse.
I give you credit for that one. No more.
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#165679 - 05/08/06 08:44 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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AC Cream Wannabe
Registered: 01/02/04
Posts: 440
Loc: Lake Michigan
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Quote:
Quote:
I wish someone would explain to me wtf happened in this thread?
Some dipshit(KWR) thought it would be a great idea to get Kelly Wells to marry him in this thread which happens to be in the least read section of the board.
For a quick summary: Phlog handed him his ass, ChristianXXX tried to check him(KWR didn't listen), a couple posters accused KWR of being SA, and then Gen showed up. It went downhill from there.
**Edit to add**
How in the hell did we get to 6pages/110posts of this shit people 
I take offence to the idea that Gen is in any way reponsible for the runaway nature of this thread. It is my oponion that Gen is the closest thing that we have to sanity in this assylum.
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#165681 - 05/08/06 09:10 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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AC Cream Wannabe
Registered: 01/02/04
Posts: 440
Loc: Lake Michigan
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Quote:
It basically all started from threats to ban MKW, so booyah! 
As long as the blame doesn't somehow het shifted to you then all is good.
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#165683 - 05/08/06 09:15 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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AC Cream Wannabe
Registered: 01/02/04
Posts: 440
Loc: Lake Michigan
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Quote:
The thread did inspire me to jerk off to Kelly Wells choke- snotting all over a giant cock, so all said and done, it wasn't a total loss. I must thank everyone responsible.
Although I don't think Kelly Wells had anything to do with this thread. I think it would also be nice to thanks her for defiling herself on screen for your pleasure.
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#165684 - 05/08/06 09:26 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Rob Black's Crack Pipe
Registered: 12/15/05
Posts: 62
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Quote:
Quote:
The thread did inspire me to jerk off to Kelly Wells choke- snotting all over a giant cock, so all said and done, it wasn't a total loss. I must thank everyone responsible.
Although I don't think Kelly Wells had anything to do with this thread. I think it would also be nice to thanks her for defiling herself on screen for your pleasure.
God bless her sweet defiled heart. (I hope the people close to her will relay this message for me).  
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#165685 - 05/08/06 11:45 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Porn Icon
Registered: 02/04/05
Posts: 3499
Loc: The Dirty: 480
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Quote:
How in the hell did we get to 6pages/110posts of this shit people
This is what happens when certain pillars of the community go on walkabout. 
(or return incognito) shhhhhhhhh.
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#165686 - 05/09/06 01:26 AM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Whoremaster
Registered: 10/21/05
Posts: 2710
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Quote:
Actually, last I saw she was driving a black Ford Explorer or Suburban, with leather seats, IIRC. And she said it was hers. It was one of those gas-guzzling monsters.
KWR, perhaps if you had been on XPT a little longer, you would already know the First Law of Porn handed down from the mount by none other than Jeff Steward himself:
'Whores Lie' 
Take it to heart, for it will serve you well in the years to come...
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#165690 - 05/09/06 01:28 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 12/28/05
Posts: 4726
Loc: The City That Never Sleeps, Tr...
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Quote:
Quote:
Actually, last I saw she was driving a black Ford Explorer or Suburban, with leather seats, IIRC. And she said it was hers. It was one of those gas-guzzling monsters.
And wasn't it Gia guesstimating Kelly could have made a half a million last year due to sheer number of scenes done?
No, that wasn't me. Revealing a person's income is entirely tacky.
Kelly's a friend of mine. When we hang out, it's usually fine dining. Other than that, I've never seen her spend money outlandishly. She's reserved in public and prefers to socialize with one or two individuals instead of groups. She's an introvert, but she'll always tell you what's on her mind if you ask. I think that sex is Kelly's favorite escape since I've come to know that she truly has what she's called sexual depravity.
Does she get high alone too?
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#165693 - 05/09/06 06:41 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Human Garbage
Registered: 07/05/04
Posts: 1545
Loc: In the tree outside Gia Jordan...
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#165694 - 05/09/06 07:22 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Stormy's Lawyer
Registered: 12/29/05
Posts: 23
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This is all too funny! U are all entertaining me! This is funny shit... I mean honestly. Wow, some of you think I do drugs. Ladies and Gentlemen I do not NEED drugs. They pollute the body, the mind, and the soul. But what does it matter if I did or didn't. I don't owe anybody an explanation. There is only one person in life you have to prove anything too, and that is yourself. We are supposed to be talking about pornography on this site, fuck talking about whore's money and their SUVS. What you all are really trying to say is "what is this bitch doing with her money that keeps her from giving it to me??!!"
As far as what I drive, all I will say is this: all cars are the same no matter how you look at it, they are all a hunk of metal on wheels that guzzle gas, and have no appreciative value, unless for some reason some motherfucker 25 years from now calls what you drive today a classic and wants to pay some real money for it.
By the way, sadly I did not make the suggested $500,000 last year. That is a bit much, you think? Let's be realistic Ladies and Gents!
Good day!
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#165698 - 05/09/06 08:21 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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christian man, i'd hang on to willie's every word-the difference between good/average management of a few hundred k of a porn career ends up being vector-changingly signifigant in a few decades. hey, it's just more huge-boobed escorts when you're 50. happy birthday.
_________________________
"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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#165699 - 05/09/06 08:47 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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aka Gen Padova
Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/20/03
Posts: 4517
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Quote:
This is all too funny! U are all entertaining me! This is funny shit... I mean honestly. Wow, some of you think I do drugs. Ladies and Gentlemen I do not NEED drugs. They pollute the body, the mind, and the soul. But what does it matter if I did or didn't. I don't owe anybody an explanation. There is only one person in life you have to prove anything too, and that is yourself. We are supposed to be talking about pornography on this site, fuck talking about whore's money and their SUVS. What you all are really trying to say is "what is this bitch doing with her money that keeps her from giving it to me??!!"
As far as what I drive, all I will say is this: all cars are the same no matter how you look at it, they are all a hunk of metal on wheels that guzzle gas, and have no appreciative value, unless for some reason some motherfucker 25 years from now calls what you drive today a classic and wants to pay some real money for it.
By the way, sadly I did not make the suggested $500,000 last year. That is a bit much, you think? Let's be realistic Ladies and Gents!
Good day!
Oh Kelly.. last time I saw you was the day we did Lesbian Bukkake 2.
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#165700 - 05/09/06 09:09 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 9195
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Quote:
What you all are really trying to say is "what is this bitch doing with her money that keeps her from giving it to me??!!"
Interesting post, I think that sentence is probably reversed from the way it actualy is, but whatever. Drugs, maybe you do, maybe not, I suppose it's "up in the air" since there's some plausible deniability. I'll at least give you credit for not having to phone Malice and get your password to come back up in here.
Actually, I think the convergence point of porn and money is the most interesting part of the discussion. Think about the cushy life Ginger Lynn would have if someone had told her for forego those European coke vacations and drop that cashish into an BBB+ short-term bond index fund. The day Michael Millken was arrested, she could have sold out and been rolling. For shits and giggles she could have shorted RJR Nabisco and made a killing.
I mean, really...Kelly, given similar compensation, would you rather run the local Limited Too at the mall, or fart multiple cumshots out your backdoor twice a week? Not that that's a priori bad, my prostate thanks you for your choice. No need to answer in writing, just something to ponder. And blame Da Burg for that "cumfart" visual.
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#165701 - 05/09/06 09:17 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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god mikey got a raw deal. at one point it seemed like he was going to die in prison of cancer on bullshit technicalities for basically starting something that because totally-regular while he was in the can. ivan's a bitch.
_________________________
"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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#165703 - 05/09/06 09:56 PM
Re: How 'Bout That Michael Millken?
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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nothing kills the wood of a stalker like late-80's drexel talk. strangely enough, levine and seigel kinda titillate me in a what if? sense.
_________________________
"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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#165706 - 05/10/06 11:03 AM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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AC Cream Wannabe
Registered: 01/02/04
Posts: 440
Loc: Lake Michigan
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Quote:
Quote:
As far as what I drive, all I will say is this: all cars are the same no matter how you look at it, they are all a hunk of metal on wheels that guzzle gas, and have no appreciative value,
This is the kind of shit people say when they spend all of there money on drugs and have non left to buy a decent ride. 
That may be but I have a decent ride and I feel the same way that she does. As long as the ride is reliable I think that is all that matters. I don't see the point in to putting so much money into a vechile when you arn't even it that much (unless your a truck driver). I think it makes more sence to put your money into your house and invest it or spend it on other things that you have fun with. As long as the vechile is decent and doesn't seem to break down everyday then I really that is just fine.
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#165708 - 05/10/06 03:42 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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aka Gen Padova
Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/20/03
Posts: 4517
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Quote:
Quote:
As far as what I drive, all I will say is this: all cars are the same no matter how you look at it, they are all a hunk of metal on wheels that guzzle gas, and have no appreciative value,
This is the kind of shit people say when they spend all of there money on drugs and have non left to buy a decent ride.
I don't know Jeff... I can understand things are different when you can afford that hot piece of work (lamborghini). But, my Lincoln LS may be a nice feel behind the wheel, I dont believe it was worth the price tag that they usually go for. It would have been more reasonable to just stick to a camry at the time.
But I dont completely disagree with you.
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#165709 - 05/10/06 03:43 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Rob Black's Crack Pipe
Registered: 03/09/06
Posts: 70
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Quote:
Don't you know Latin's a dead language, Wildo? Hell, I use it in my profession and I knew that...
Are you one of these child-molesting catholic priests, KWR?
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#165711 - 05/10/06 04:13 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Ed Hardy Wearing Loser
Registered: 05/07/06
Posts: 35
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Nope. Interesting guesses, though. I am Catholic, and I considered being a priest when I was in 4th grade, but then puberty hit and I realized the whole vow of celibacy thing wouldn't work.
Gia, thank you for defending Kelly. These drug allegations are some serious bullshit, as far as I can see.
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#165712 - 05/10/06 04:45 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Rob Black's Crack Pipe
Registered: 03/09/06
Posts: 70
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Quote:
Nope. Interesting guesses, though. I am Catholic, and I considered being a priest when I was in 4th grade, but then puberty hit and I realized the whole vow of celibacy thing wouldn't work.
Gia, thank you for defending Kelly. These drug allegations are some serious bullshit, as far as I can see.
It doesn't seem to bother quite a few priests either, so I hear.
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#165713 - 05/10/06 04:46 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Ed Hardy Wearing Loser
Registered: 05/07/06
Posts: 35
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Yeah, but those are shitty priests. There are some good ones. I still go to mass, oddly enough.
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#165714 - 05/10/06 07:01 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Human Garbage
Registered: 09/13/05
Posts: 1594
Loc: The "Phlogbox", apparently.
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Quote:
Yeah, but those are shitty priests. There are some good ones. I still go to mass, oddly enough.
The Priests probably have a better shot of fucking Kelly than you do. What girl wouldn't want to steal a man from God?
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#165715 - 05/10/06 07:10 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/03/03
Posts: 5849
Loc: TX, USA
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I just noticed that Kelly is now rep'd by Spiegler.
_________________________
"If they can't picture me with a knife, forcing them to strip in an alley, I don't want any part of it. It's humiliating." - windsock
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#165716 - 05/11/06 03:20 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Ed Hardy Wearing Loser
Registered: 05/07/06
Posts: 35
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Hey, you know...this thread actually has me thinking. Someone should do a "Newlyweds with Nick and Jessica" styled porn series, maybe one called "Who Wants To Marry A Porn Queen?" Every episode could deal with the hilarious and heartwarming misadventures of the couple. His boss is coming over for dinner; she's just done a double anal in a porn film his boss rented. The fun never stops... So what do you say, Kelly? I think we have a million seller and you'd do a far better job as "America's Sweetheart" than Jessica Simpson.
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#165717 - 05/11/06 03:44 PM
Re: Marry me, Kelly Wells!
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/07/05
Posts: 14160
Loc: NYC
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Then in that case, the husband wouldn't even care how many dicks are in her ass, grab soda, and finish a game of San Andreas.
_________________________
"What I do know is that if Karen Carpenter and Mama Cass Elliot had shared that sandwich they'd both be alive today." -Michael K
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I gotta go to bed, I have duties to attend tomorrow. Shocking 
and when I made my first 100k... k meant pennies. 
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