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I hope you took the lad to task for trying to "act white", before showing him to the closest Popeyes.

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do black people eat yogurt?

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Then it hit me, the guy was watching a rerun of "Friends". I didn't think black people were allowed to watch that show. Bishop, can you clarify this, are black people allowed to watch stupid white people telling bad jokes with contrieved plots on tv? I thought the brothas had higher standards than that,

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hey it's good shit yo.

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What it do nucckkazz?
First,let me say that I am thrilled to be your chosen ambassador to black culture.I hope I can bring the races closer.(translation for the brothers:see how whitey be trippin'?)
The assimulation of blacks into the white american culture has led to the newly discovered phenomenon of the occasional wealthy black family moving into a white neighborhood.(black translation:sell-out,bouisie niggaz always be jettin on the hood)
Those families then raise their offspring in that suburban setting.(translation:Towanda gets knocked the fuck up and they raised the bitch in the burbs).
Those offspring are then entering into adulthood with only mtv to be a role model for their self image.(translation:that niggaz like a reverse wigger)
More often than not,with the cushy upbringing afforded them,they lack the motivation to succeed and often wind up in the hoods that their parents escaped from but without the skills necessary to survive in that environ....(translation:look at that mark-ass nigga!)
....where they are quickly killed and eaten(translation:he gone meet jack!)
Though still a relatively new occurance we have a name for these misplaced black souls. Soft.
I hope this has been helpful(I'm out....)

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Bishop is the urban poet of the masses.

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What it do nucckkazz?
First,let me say that I am thrilled to be your chosen ambassador to black culture.I hope I can bring the races closer.(translation for the brothers:see how whitey be trippin'?)
The assimulation of blacks into the white american culture has led to the newly discovered phenomenon of the occasional wealthy black family moving into a white neighborhood.(black translation:sell-out,bouisie niggaz always be jettin on the hood)
Those families then raise their offspring in that suburban setting.(translation:Towanda gets knocked the fuck up and they raised the bitch in the burbs).
Those offspring are then entering into adulthood with only mtv to be a role model for their self image.(translation:that niggaz like a reverse wigger)
More often than not,with the cushy upbringing afforded them,they lack the motivation to succeed and often wind up in the hoods that their parents escaped from but without the skills necessary to survive in that environ....(translation:look at that mark-ass nigga!)
....where they are quickly killed and eaten(translation:he gone meet jack!)
Though still a relatively new occurance we have a name for these misplaced black souls. Soft.
I hope this has been helpful(I'm out....)

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Bishop is the urban poet of the masses.

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I now know what it felt like to watch Van Goh paint a masterpiece after reading this.

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and I thought the spirit of truth guy was the ambassador:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7jIWWFBvs7A

looks like I was wrong..

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yeah you were definetly wrong,because that nigga was crazy with a capital Z.He was off his fuckin rocker. Hows anybody gonna run their evangelist game like that? I ain't never seen no shit like that in my life.All that time on camera and that nigga don't ask for no money to do god's work.Fuck god don't be wantin' to hang with you unless you atleast get him a mercedes.So it's best to ask the congregation for their money,so you can buy said mercedes,so you can chill with god,and he will give you the word,so you can pass it on and BAM more money,more money,more money...
other than that though he was on point! nigga had his scriptures down and shit and wasn't takin no shit from the peanut gallery(which is the failing of a lot of black churches)they better be glad my boi is on cable acess cause if they was sittin up in his church ,that nigga would be beatin the holy spirit into a mofo.Praise be!

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Did you have dialogue?
How many shows have you been on?

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Did you have dialogue?
How many shows have you been on?

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I did about 8- 10 eps. no speakin' fo me tho. I'm on season 3. mostly discs 3 & 4. it was fun.

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YEah, well I'm in One of the Chuck Norris Missing in Action Movies (I can't pick myself out) Clint Eastwoods "Pale Rider" at the very beginning, I'm dressed as one of the gold panners who runs off camera when the bad guys ride into town shooting (call it four seconds) and "Platoon" the scene where Charlie Sheen is riding to the Firebase in a duce in a half, way in the background me and another guy were drinking coca-colas at a Sari-Sari store, didn't even know they were filming (I'm also marching around on the Ramp when they land in Nam and as the troops unload they load body bags on the plane, our first seargent was the one marching us around) we'll call it 6 secons in platoon. Ha, three major motion picture, probably 12 seconds on film!
They filmed two "Missing In Actions" at the same time in the Philippines, I met Aaron Norris, never even saw Chuck. While they filmed the opening scene for "Pale Rider" Clint Eastwood was Cougar hunting (the movie was filmed in Montana when I was stationed there.) And the used Volunteers from Clark and Subic for "Platoon" over a three day period.

So there thppt!

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is it true that the black people use "washcloths"?

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why,that's just crazy-talk.Where do you guys come up with this stuff If we used washcloths the black would rub off on them and ruin them. sheesh

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is it true that the black people use "washcloths"?

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why,that's just crazy-talk.Where do you guys come up with this stuff If we used washcloths the black would rub off on them and ruin them. sheesh

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See being a clueless white guy with no rythym, style and soul I always wanted to improve my outlook with the Laides. Reading what you just said, your saying that drinking my coffee black, or excessive amounts of chocolate milk isn't going to work?

Now I have to turn in my Blues and Soul Collection, Goodbye Muddy Water, Goodbye Billie Holliday, Goodbye Toni Braxton, Goodbye Sam and Dave, I'll miss you.

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Did you have dialogue?
How many shows have you been on?

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I did about 8- 10 eps. no speakin' fo me tho. I'm on season 3. mostly discs 3 & 4. it was fun.

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YEah, well I'm in One of the Chuck Norris Missing in Action Movies (I can't pick myself out) Clint Eastwoods "Pale Rider" at the very beginning, I'm dressed as one of the gold panners who runs off camera when the bad guys ride into town shooting (call it four seconds) and "Platoon" the scene where Charlie Sheen is riding to the Firebase in a duce in a half, way in the background me and another guy were drinking coca-colas at a Sari-Sari store, didn't even know they were filming (I'm also marching around on the Ramp when they land in Nam and as the troops unload they load body bags on the plane, our first seargent was the one marching us around) we'll call it 6 secons in platoon. Ha, three major motion picture, probably 12 seconds on film!
They filmed two "Missing In Actions" at the same time in the Philippines, I met Aaron Norris, never even saw Chuck. While they filmed the opening scene for "Pale Rider" Clint Eastwood was Cougar hunting (the movie was filmed in Montana when I was stationed there.) And the used Volunteers from Clark and Subic for "Platoon" over a three day period.

So there thppt!

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Next time you see Chuck Norris,tell his monkey-ass,"all the tv karate in the world ain't gonna save him if he don't gimmie my money"
White people get outta county and they forget
If it wasn't for me,Chuck would still be gettin ass-fucked for a package of shimp-flavored top-ramen noodles right now.So you know what he would have had to do over some ass-scented loose tobacco and some rolling paper.....

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this nigga huuuur thinking bout starting up his own congregation. PREACH ON MY NIGGA, PREACH YOURSELF RIGHT ON! The church of of "grimy ass niggaz of latter day saints." I needs me a new benzinie with chromed out rims and enough chedda rollin in on the collection basket to but me some of the stickiest of ikky. To my right hand will sit my nigga bish and to my left will sit chico t. I'll have DB roll his ass around the spot collectin my money in his 2k7 wheelie with collection plate attachment.

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Okay,ok I'm feeling this.We got the Benzo.We got the sticky icky icky,no doubt,and are you feelin this? instead of holy water,we hook up that 110 proof kool-aid(tm.)we was rappin about and you can count this nigga in.Two things though,last time I spoke to god he was not into the chrome rims.(saw a black,600S with kit,blacked out windows and black-matte rims on sepulvida near the galleria,and I was like"goddamn-that motherfucker is sharp!"and I hear this voice behind me go:"Yeah especially those black rims,now last year I woulda went with the chrome but black on black with black rims?that's how you hit the bricks wit that fire"and I look in the rear-view mirror and god is sittin in my back seat mumblin some shit about how if I don't cut back on the malt-liquor and the inter-state speeds on the surface streets,we was gonna be hangin together alot more regular.So the chrome is a no-no.Second daburg would probably make a good alterboy but I would'nt trust that nigga wit the money.(remember the court room scene in new jack city,when Wesley Snipes pinned the whole thing on that Al B Sure looking nigga from the bank?)

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this nigga huuuur thinking bout starting up his own congregation. PREACH ON MY NIGGA, PREACH YOURSELF RIGHT ON! The church of of "grimy ass niggaz of latter day saints." I needs me a new benzinie with chromed out rims and enough chedda rollin in on the collection basket to but me some of the stickiest of ikky. To my right hand will sit my nigga bish and to my left will sit chico t. I'll have DB roll his ass around the spot collectin my money in his 2k7 wheelie with collection plate attachment.

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Okay,ok I'm feeling this.We got the Benzo.We got the sticky icky icky,no doubt,and are you feelin this? instead of holy water,we hook up that 110 proof kool-aid(tm.)we was rappin about and you can count this nigga in.Two things though,last time I spoke to god he was not into the chrome rims.(saw a black,600S with kit,blacked out windows and black-matte rims on sepulvida near the galleria,and I was like"goddamn-that motherfucker is sharp!"and I hear this voice behind me go:"Yeah especially those black rims,now last year I woulda went with the chrome but black on black with black rims?that's how you hit the bricks wit that fire"and I look in the rear-view mirror and god is sittin in my back seat mumblin some shit about how if I don't cut back on the malt-liquor and the inter-state speeds on the surface streets,we was gonna be hangin together alot more regular.So the chrome is a no-no.Second daburg would probably make a good alterboy but I would'nt trust that nigga wit the money.(remember the court room scene in new jack city,when Wesley Snipes pinned the whole thing on that Al B Sure looking nigga from the bank?)

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Next time you see Chuck Norris,tell his monkey-ass,"all the tv karate in the world ain't gonna save him if he don't gimmie my money"

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is it true that the black people use "washcloths"?

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why,that's just crazy-talk.Where do you guys come up with this stuff If we used washcloths the black would rub off on them and ruin them. sheesh

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See being a clueless white guy with no rythym, style and soul I always wanted to improve my outlook with the Laides. Reading what you just said, your saying that drinking my coffee black, or excessive amounts of chocolate milk isn't going to work?

Now I have to turn in my Blues and Soul Collection, Goodbye Muddy Water, Goodbye Billie Holliday, Goodbye Toni Braxton, Goodbye Sam and Dave, I'll miss you.

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See? Everybody wants to be black when they turn on the radio or while they be watchin the game or when they pull out they dick in the mens room(you know your ass don't need to stand that far back from the urinal)but, I want to see your ass tryin to be black when that squad car cuts across three lines of traffic to slid in behind you.That's right turn UP the rap music when you look in the mirror and see that bitch runnin your tags.I'm just sayin,stay wit the ebonics when that muthafucca come slidin up to your window wit his gun all unsnapped and his hand twitchin right next to it.
Then come hollar at me

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See? Everybody wants to be black when they turn on the radio or while they be watchin the game or when they pull out they dick in the mens room(you know your ass don't need to stand that far back from the urinal)but, I want to see your ass tryin to be black when that squad car cuts across three lines of traffic to slid in behind you.That's right turn up the rap music when you look in the mirror and see that bitch runnin your tags.I'm just sayin,stay wit the ebonics when that muthafucca come slidin up to your window wit his gun all unsnapped and his hand twitchin right next to it.
Then come hollar at me

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Augh! Now I know my problem, I've been listening to Blues, Soul, R&B not Rap, and I just don't do Ebonics well!

I could perhaps muster a "Fo Sho" or a "Say What?" maybe even a "Yo Dog" but that's about it, and I live just North of Detroit.

I must be really pathetic, when I'm working with black guys they don't use Ebonics at all, I guess they think I don't understand.

I don't want to have to join the Aryan Brotherhood or KKK they all got bad teeth, drink piss beer, favor inbreeding and vote Republican! I'd sooner learn the "Shizzle Fizzle" speak than depend on "Yucks," "Y'alls" and "Yeps."

I will double up on watching "Def Poetry Jam."

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See? Everybody wants to be black when they turn on the radio or while they be watchin the game or when they pull out they dick in the mens room(you know your ass don't need to stand that far back from the urinal)but, I want to see your ass tryin to be black when that squad car cuts across three lines of traffic to slid in behind you.That's right turn UP the rap music when you look in the mirror and see that bitch runnin your tags.I'm just sayin,stay wit the ebonics when that muthafucca come slidin up to your window wit his gun all unsnapped and his hand twitchin right next to it.
Then come hollar at me

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See? Everybody wants to be black when they turn on the radio or while they be watchin the game or when they pull out they dick in the mens room(you know your ass don't need to stand that far back from the urinal)but, I want to see your ass tryin to be black when that squad car cuts across three lines of traffic to slid in behind you.That's right turn UP the rap music when you look in the mirror and see that bitch runnin your tags.I'm just sayin,stay wit the ebonics when that muthafucca come slidin up to your window wit his gun all unsnapped and his hand twitchin right next to it.
Then come hollar at me

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shit, i'm not even black. I'm a honey beige and they roll up on me like that.

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shit, i'm not even black. I'm a honey beige and they roll up on me like that.

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shit, i'm not even black. I'm a honey beige and they roll up on me like that.

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it's probably the mascara

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We have a very nice Goodwill store here and there is a black guy in his late 20's or early 30's who works the floor with a blue vest on. I kept returning to this heavy knit comforter made up of zigzags of orange and brown and red, and yellow. He must've seen me because after I'd come back to it about 5 times he was fiddling with hangers near me and said "That's nice, isn't it?" and I said "Yeah, yeah. It's beautiful" and he said "How much is it ticketed for?" and I goes "$8.50" with an apologtetic both eybrow raise and crooked frown, like not complaining about the price but that I couldn't afford it. "Is it a green tag?" the black man asked, and I went "No. Blue" and he goes "Shit. Green is half off today." and I said "Aw, darn" and he goes "I'll tell you what, I'll ring it up as a green tag for you" and I said "No, dood. I don't want to get you in trouble" and he insisted "No. No. I'm glad to. There's no way I'll get in trouble. You've been pining over that blanket for 45 minutes, and I'd hate to see you leave without it." He carried it to the register for me and I followed behind saying all sorts of geezes and thanks alots and really nices.

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Epiphanically Joycean, yet minimalistically Hemingwayish.

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jesus, bishop just made my not-funny thread hilarious.

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Please tell me jamesn,what do you find most amusing,that Chuck Norris won't pay me or, that god never seems to be in my back seat when I get tossed by the l.a.p.d.? I guess it would tickle you to death if I tell you how I have to ice down my prostrate after an eight scene week