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And some twisted three years it's been. Some of my favorites:

1. Patient Zero dies. If anyone in porn says they weren't here the next day reading that thread (other than Kid Vegas who was incarcerated at the time), they are absolute liars.

2. Sal Mckvey. Easily the biggest and most deluded fanboy out there. Noahphed wishes he could be this guy.

3. Smiling Arab trashes Jill Kelly Productions' financial statements. Within 3 months, Bob Friedland resigns from the company and JKXP is in bankruptcy court.

4. Simp writes a Gag Factor poem, and Jeff Mike puts it on a boxcover. Simp becomes an unwitting accomplice in the furtherance of the pestulating peni.

5. Ryan Knox gets banned. I know there have been some great meltdowns, but when your string is so shot out you resort to posting a single character as a response, you're at rock bottom.

6. Jenna-Gate. The story apparently goes that ADT was down for maintenance (Drew code-talk for "Denver Don sending out passwords to anyone who cares"), so Jenna came over and dropped a few posts, inciting a flurry of ADT-fanboy registrations, outraged that the like of that whore would come over to such a rogue board. There was also a nice bitch-slapping thread with Kami.

7. Smartt and Sammura argue over death threats and child porn. Two of XPT's favorite javelin catchers engage in a cute little war on child pornography. The winner: you.

8. Grip Johnson invents the "Dr. Pornz Disclaimer." Dr. Pornz was already flaming out in my lurking days, but this was a great solution. Kind of like holding your finger one inch away from someone's face and shouting, "I'm not touching you!!!"

9. Brandon Iron has an argument with himself. For the newer readers, Brandon was banned for having a multitude of aliases, which would often talk to each other. Here's an example.

10. Smelly Monkey retires from XPT...the first time. Check out the date. In reality, heve's never far out of reach.

Honorable mention:
Sportawami flames out
The various "Fuck ADT" threads
The Bukkake Rooster

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How could you leave out this one:

AC - Life as a fanboy

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4. Simp writes a Gag Factor poem, and Jeff Mike puts it on a boxcover. Simp becomes an unwitting accomplice in the furtherance of the pestulating peni.

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4. Simp writes a Gag Factor poem, and Jeff Mike puts it on a boxcover. Simp becomes an unwitting accomplice in the furtherance of the pestulating peni.

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I have always thought that a nicely done hardbound collection of CAOH/Simp's works would be the last word in coffee table books. Some arthouse publisher needs to make it happen, or better yet, perhaps some form of postmodern multimedia gallery 'installation' might do the trick, enabling add you to add vision and sound to the prose.

By the way, are the fine folks at JM familiar with the euphemism 'Quackamole'? (pron: guacamole, but with a 'Q'). It was entered into Viz magazine's Profanisaurus this month, and refers to greenish phlegm coughed up during deep fellatio. That, and the fact it features the word 'Quack' (now forever symbolising Aurora Snow's Gag Factor scene) had me immediately thinking of the JM crew...

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Damn, that remends me where the hell is Kyoto?

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...on myspace dog.
Hey how's it going cleetus?

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There's a reason Monstar does it successfully, and you have none of his Kool-Aid.

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