You wanmt to know what the fuck I had for lunch today? I stole some of my roomate's peanut butter and had a sandwich with it on wheat bread. The issue of stolen peanut butter came to a head recently when my life was threatened with a steak knife. A can of unopened Jif extra crunchy has remained unopened in the cupboard in the weeks since, possibly as a kind of test/temptation/make my day gesture. I did it, hostiley and hungrily. I did it earnestly and sincerely. A fine sandwich. The shoes have not dropped yet. It is a matter of time until the crime is discovered. I washed it down with a glass of Diet 7uP spike with diluted Kamchatka vodka. Later I farted and they sure did stink something awful.